Miquel The Work Geordie

I swear I got this in the National sweepstake at work

Can't wait until Cockwomble Twitter photoshops Starmer onto a sausage. You sir, have won the internet !

Think a lot of folk really neglect how important water is. I'm bollock deep in a litre of sugar free Vimto every morning, I'm 34 but people say I could pass for 33, maybe even 32.

Hotels with ambient lighting are class, I can get ready in an Adagio feeling like I could model for any major high street reatiler – I'll look and feel a million green ones leaving there. Get ready in a hotel with harsh lighting and I look like angel delight that's been dropped on a barber's floor

Galtier is in this bracket, shame he's a helmet

I work with a set who are very much "I don't really like football but I'll get behind the lads at a World Cup or Euros" – one of the primary reasons I want to leave I want to talk about Troy Deeney's team of the week not what day your bins are

Funny how if you rearrange the letters in Steve Cooper you get Club Saboteur Can't be a coincidence surely

Haaland is hilarious man, a proper oddball I can get behind. He's great

Just a composite them pair mert, don't think they were particularly deep but not sure how they set their prices

£299 seems a lot for a filling to me brother, I had to have a couple recently and they were £180 a pop, and this is in a leafy affluent suburb of Leeds

Not listened yet but will bet everything I own that at some point Jon Parkin will say something borderline verbatim "so you win the league wi Leicester, that must've been some night on the sauce that, what warra it like"

Marvin Humes now of course one of the nation's most accomplished broadcasters

Nice team but needs more Carabao experience. Swap Fatawu and Alves out for Ayew and Reid and we're in the hat

Should've invested in these

He should never have got the gig but I'll be amazed if he goes this side of Christmas, at which point we'll likely be properly in the mud and a far less appealing proposition than we are now. Rudkin will flick through his little black book of unemployed managers with experience of English football and we'll get someone else uninspiring in. Really has come to something in terms of trust with the ownership where I'd genuinely be quietly relieved if they just went for Moyes for 18 months or so.