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After hearing the BBC were making a documentary, I sent off a photo of the wife. They sent it back. Apparently the show is called The Big Fact hunt!

I wouldn't say my mate has a bad stammer but he went into the shop for a Mars Bar and came out with 35 bags of M&Ms.

Muamba woke yesterday to find out Torres had scored twice....... He said, "fcuk me how long was I out for?"...

Little girl is walking along the street with her dad, and they see a dead dog with its 4 legs sticking up in the air. She asks her dad why its legs are up and he tells her its so God can pick it up easily when he collects it. She turns to him and says " Mummy was like that the other day, and if it hadnt been for the milkman holding her down wed have lost her!"

A couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath,although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire....... "Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said. The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.... After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, don't go to darts. Wait in the back garden and I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself.." So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked: "Do you shave?" "No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?" "Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department; very generously indeed. Then the girl went to bed and the husband came in; the wife asked: "Did you see it?" "Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours." "Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often enough before." "I know," he said, "but the effin' darts team hadn't"...