Hi @MPH, v nice of you to ask this. I'm doing ok thanks - hanging on in there! Since this thread, I've had my up's and down's but for anyone out there struggling, it's important to know that you're certainly not alone. If you feel like you're battling demons, talk to partner/friends/family, if you don't feel comfortable doing that then Samaritans are brilliant, you can always call/text them 24/7, 7 days a week. To phone Samaritans it's 116 123 and to message, text 'SHOUT' to 85258.
I've had a little browse through this topic and it's so refreshing how understanding and supportive everyone has been to each other's issues. It can certainly be daunting and difficult to know what to do when you're feeling like this. Speaking personally, cutting off alcohol/drugs is the best solution, it's effectively poison for your mind and body. Keeping fit physically does you plenty of good, getting into that routine of going to the gym/running a few times a week has so many mental benefits too. If that's not your thing then go for regular daily walks. Eating well - lots of fruit/veg, and getting into a habit of sleeping better, going to bed earlier etc.