Vacamion

Don't want to make you all angry but Scottish Government employees, including my wife, the Git, get a paid holiday every year for St Andrews Day.

As an Engishman "abroad", I shall be inviting my Scots colleagues to join me for some morris dancing, pork pie, and muttering under my breath about the neighbours' parking habits.

That's class by Doku.

Showing the replay on the screen in the stadium : either you show all VAR decisions after they've been made, or you show none of them. Shouldn't be up to someone in the Stadium to only show the ones he's pissed off at.

Deffo a penalty, you mardy entitled oil suckers.

Could Spurs sack Ange, even though they are in a Euro Semi?

The Spurs keeper doing a Superman there.

Sorry to say it but Forest look by far the better side. And they score...

Oh Spurs, you Spursy twats.

The Jordan Ayew non smile in the official picture.

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I'd expressed any strong opinion either way about a points deduction. Maybe have me mixed up with someone else?

Well done Leeds and Burnley. Enjoy languishing forlornly next season, as is now traditional.

Beating Spurs. We were AWFUL this season and still they didn't beat us.

It was obviously Steven Jefferson's missus calling the club repeatedly and telling them it was urgent, because he'd told her he was at the game, but actually, he was in a Travelodge near Runcorn burying part of himself in Naomi, his much younger PA, but Mrs Jefferson's suspicions had been aroused because he left the house in his best going out clothes, smelling of Hugo Boss. It's a tale as old as time...

Not a chance. I think he clings on til he's shoved.