MPH Posted 3 November 2015 Share Posted 3 November 2015 Just the swell of joy i have when i see my little boys achieve something new is just un-matchable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charl91 Posted 3 November 2015 Share Posted 3 November 2015 I'm 35 and already older than any of the 3 teachers my kids have had so far!!! Mind you my daughters 1st teacher was fit, but one year of teaching kids and she has decided to leave for oz. I'm on the other end of it. I'm 24, so not yet had a parent who's younger than me. Teaching kids has put me off wanting to have them. Deal with enough of that at work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinowe Soorie Posted 3 November 2015 Share Posted 3 November 2015 @@Wookie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Webbo Posted 3 November 2015 Share Posted 3 November 2015 @@Wookie Is that meant to encourage people to have kids or put them off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Great Boos Up Posted 3 November 2015 Share Posted 3 November 2015 When I was 30 I had a six pack and locks and single. When I was 33; I was a slightly bald grey fat bastard. Circumstance will dictate your life. Got married late and had my boy at 40. Kids change your life, but don't worry and enjoy whatever comes your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stadt Posted 3 November 2015 Share Posted 3 November 2015 Is that meant to encourage people to have kids or put them off? He'll say put them off but I've been an exemplary child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinowe Soorie Posted 3 November 2015 Share Posted 3 November 2015 Is that meant to encourage people to have kids or put them off? Put them off!! He's a right Nobby know it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parafox Posted 3 November 2015 Share Posted 3 November 2015 We have two adopted daughters. We have serious regrets but having your own is so much different, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinowe Soorie Posted 3 November 2015 Share Posted 3 November 2015 He'll say put them off but I've been an exemplary child Not sure about that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr The Singh Posted 3 November 2015 Share Posted 3 November 2015 We have two adopted daughters. We have serious regrets but having your own is so much different,That's a very honest statement, I would like to understand alittle more, as me and the Mrs have thought about adopting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lianne81 Posted 3 November 2015 Share Posted 3 November 2015 We have two adopted daughters. We have serious regrets but having your own is so much different, Fair play to you both though , must be so hard as adopted kids come with a lot of emotion baggage and things they can't deal with x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob1742 Posted 3 November 2015 Share Posted 3 November 2015 I feel sad for the people with kids tbh. I've got a tidy bank balance and no dependants, I can drop everything and piss off round the world if I want and blow all my cash on a massive telly when I get back. I can go out on Friday night, spend all of Saturday watching the football and recover Sunday without a little person nagging me. I thought exactly the same thoughts. But when I finally got one I found what you do with them is much better than anything else in the world. It's like a switch is turned on in your body that makes you different, but much better. Thing is, you can still do the same after a couple of years. I have taken my lad to the football since he was 4 weeks old, he comes out with us and he is just like a small mate. We left it late as we thought it wouldn't be good and we just went out all the time. Now we just do the same but with a little person with us. They are brilliant, they are a mini version of you which is amazing and life is just much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AoWW Posted 4 November 2015 Share Posted 4 November 2015 The maternal instinct has never really kicked in for me - I doubt it will. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have kids, then quickly decide I'm quite happy enough without them. It probably boils down to being too selfish, plus a fair degree of rebellion against doing what society seems to expect. The 'oh, poor you' comments and assumptions when someone asks me if I have kids really winds me up though - I've chosen not to have them, there are no medical reasons why I couldn't (well, as far as I know!), nor did I want to have them just because 'that's what people your age do'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozleicester Posted 4 November 2015 Share Posted 4 November 2015 Go with what works for you. Kids can deliver the highest highs... and lowest lows. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-11-04/research-on-childlessness-finds-majority-have-no-regrets/6912080?section=wa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parafox Posted 6 November 2015 Share Posted 6 November 2015 We have two adopted daughters. We have serious regrets but having your own is so much different, That's a very honest statement, I would like to understand alittle more, as me and the Mrs have thought about adopting Our experience has been largely negative, difficult and emotionally draining. Clearly this will not be the case for all adopters. We were not given the full information on our eldest daughter's background and she had a lot of early life trauma caused by things that happened to her that we weren't told about therefore we had no understanding of the underlying causes of her almost totally destructive and disruptive behaviours. When we asked for help and support, none was forthcoming. By our own efforts we discovered the likelihood of her having Attachment Disorder. The social services had no understanding of this, they were frankly useless and gave us poor advice. Sadly, we are not alone, as we have discovered whilst trying to understand the causes of our daughter's behaviours. We have come across many other adopters who have serious problems with their adoptees. Often this involves destructive behaviour, criminal activity, violence, drug/alcohol use and self-harming all of which we have had to deal with over the years and still are. Ultimately and sadly this resulted in the breakdown of the adoption when she was 15 with no other choice but for her to go back into the care system in order to save the rest of our family. We have continued to support her and now she is 23 she lives independently but still with a LOT of support from us. She has been diagnosed with two mental health conditions mostly caused by her life experiences and early life trauma. What I'm getting to is, if you decide to adopt that's fantastic as it is almost always the best thing for a child in care. Demand all the information the social workers have; ensure support is available both professionally and informally (family and friends) so the issues that will arise (and they will) can be managed properly and that will protect you and your child. Above all I think you should get a good understanding of Attachment Disorder. This was not well understood 20 years ago but there's a lot of knowledge about it now. Our daughter has suffered with this throughout her life and is the underlying cause of many of the issues we've had to deal with as well as badly affecting her mental health now. The common belief now is that ALL adopted children will have a degree of Attachment Disorder, even those adopted from birth so it's important to understand it. I hope I haven't been to negative but I've been honest. As I said, not every adopter or adoptee will experience the severe difficulties that we have experienced. My advice would also be; be honest with yourselves and don't be afraid to say no if the child does not seem right for you. It's a very emotional journey and saying no is not easy. Had we known more of our daughter's history and the potential effects that would have on her and on us, we would have said no. It's not easy to admit, but we were not the right people to be her parents and that's the point; make sure you are right for the child as much as the child is right for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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