Depression

[urban.spaceman]

Pitching to industry professionals tomorrow. Including someone who works for the producer team for a recent Netflix hit. Extremely nervous, especially as I'm also supposed to be handing in a second draft of my project too (literally only finished the first draft last Sunday and have had to take a break from it; will try and get it done for next week). It's a first practice essentially but I really want to nail it and not rush it.  Couldn't prepare because I was mentally exhausted from finishing last week and thought I'd be better doing it off the hoof, now I'm worried I'm underprepared and will botch it. It is just for practice but I am getting closer and closer to finishing this thing and trying to start a career. Which is setting my anxiety off all the time at the minute. Apologies for the ramble.

[urban.spaceman]

[MPH]

8 minutes ago, urban.spaceman said:

Pitching to industry professionals tomorrow. Including someone who works for the producer team for a recent Netflix hit. Extremely nervous, especially as I'm also supposed to be handing in a second draft of my project too (literally only finished the first draft last Sunday and have had to take a break from it; will try and get it done for next week). It's a first practice essentially but I really want to nail it and not rush it.  Couldn't prepare because I was mentally exhausted from finishing last week and thought I'd be better doing it off the hoof, now I'm worried I'm underprepared and will botch it. It is just for practice but I am getting closer and closer to finishing this thing and trying to start a career. Which is setting my anxiety off all the time at the minute. Apologies for the ramble.

 

if they are industry professionals they will know for a major pitch like this, that you will be nervous. They would almost expect it, most likely. They won’t be bothered about whether you stumble over a few words, they’ll only care about the content. You definitely seem like someone who  is studious and intelligent and  therefore  someone who cares about the content too. Just do your best BUT consider this great practice and an opportunity to learn the coping skills you’ll need going forward.
 

Just do your best! That’s all you can do!

[Thefox81]

7 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Pitching to industry professionals tomorrow. Including someone who works for the producer team for a recent Netflix hit. Extremely nervous, especially as I'm also supposed to be handing in a second draft of my project too (literally only finished the first draft last Sunday and have had to take a break from it; will try and get it done for next week). It's a first practice essentially but I really want to nail it and not rush it.  Couldn't prepare because I was mentally exhausted from finishing last week and thought I'd be better doing it off the hoof, now I'm worried I'm underprepared and will botch it. It is just for practice but I am getting closer and closer to finishing this thing and trying to start a career. Which is setting my anxiety off all the time at the minute. Apologies for the ramble.

Good luck. Fingers crossed you smash it.

[Daggers]

7 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Pitching to industry professionals tomorrow. Including someone who works for the producer team for a recent Netflix hit. Extremely nervous, especially as I'm also supposed to be handing in a second draft of my project too (literally only finished the first draft last Sunday and have had to take a break from it; will try and get it done for next week). It's a first practice essentially but I really want to nail it and not rush it.  Couldn't prepare because I was mentally exhausted from finishing last week and thought I'd be better doing it off the hoof, now I'm worried I'm underprepared and will botch it. It is just for practice but I am getting closer and closer to finishing this thing and trying to start a career. Which is setting my anxiety off all the time at the minute. Apologies for the ramble.

Imagine them all nak…

 

No. No, that’s a very stupid idea. 
 

Imagine yourself naked. I do that all the time - and I’ve never ever met you. 

[LiberalFox]

I'm going to have to leave this place for my own sanity. Best of luck to everyone with their lives. 

[MPH]

1 hour ago, LiberalFox said:

I'm going to have to leave this place for my own sanity. Best of luck to everyone with their lives. 

 

 

Much love and care to you,  @LiberalFox.

 

have you thought about asking @Mark  to see if he can permanently block certain parts of the forum for you? So you don’t even see them?

[Izzy]

2 hours ago, LiberalFox said:

I'm going to have to leave this place for my own sanity. Best of luck to everyone with their lives. 

Just block the posters who wind you up.

 

I spent about 7 years on here not blocking anyone but eventually realised that function exists for a reason.

 

I've probably got half a dozen posters on ignore now and find the forum a much better experience not having to engage with them or see their posts.

[FoyleFox]

6 hours ago, LiberalFox said:

I'm going to have to leave this place for my own sanity. Best of luck to everyone with their lives. 

Please say that you just mean the forum. On this thread, that's a very concerning statement. 

[LiberalFox]

5 minutes ago, FoyleFox said:

Please say that you just mean the forum. On this thread, that's a very concerning statement. 

Just the forum. I need to leave due to the behaviour of the owner towards me. 

 

Sorry if there was ambiguity. I am hoping to find a different community. 

 

I posted here because it is the topic I will miss the most. There are some wonderful people here. It feels awkward to call specific people out so I won't. If you don't think it applies to you then it probably does.

 

 

 

 

[filthyfox]

Been signed off for a month.

 

All this waiting for a new gaffer is doing my head in!

[Trav Le Bleu]

On 09/06/2024 at 23:21, urban.spaceman said:

Pitching to industry professionals tomorrow. Including someone who works for the producer team for a recent Netflix hit. Extremely nervous, especially as I'm also supposed to be handing in a second draft of my project too (literally only finished the first draft last Sunday and have had to take a break from it; will try and get it done for next week). It's a first practice essentially but I really want to nail it and not rush it.  Couldn't prepare because I was mentally exhausted from finishing last week and thought I'd be better doing it off the hoof, now I'm worried I'm underprepared and will botch it. It is just for practice but I am getting closer and closer to finishing this thing and trying to start a career. Which is setting my anxiety off all the time at the minute. Apologies for the ramble.

How did it go?

[filthyfox]

5 hours ago, filthyfox said:

Been signed off for a month.

 

All this waiting for a new gaffer is doing my head in!

Need to come off sertraline and start again...

That's summer in the sunshine.   Enough to boost any depressed chappy like me!

[urban.spaceman]

12 hours ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

How did it go?

Went OK! Relaxed into it and got some good feedback. Got some good advice too about going forward and getting myself into the industry. At the business end of this thing now and it's starting to get very real, which is exciting, daunting and terrifying at the same time!

[urban.spaceman]

9 hours ago, filthyfox said:

Need to come off sertraline and start again...

That's summer in the sunshine.   Enough to boost any depressed chappy like me!

Hope you're making the right decision! I came off mine about 2 years ago and honestly haven't looked back. They just weren't helping me at all. 

[Parafox]

Daughter is back in MHU, this time under section 3 (up to 6 months in hospital) as she has relapsed after being discharged 4 weeks ago,

 

She spiralled quite quickly, becoming increasingly paranoid again and was sending us lots of hateful texts and VM's accusing us of wanting her to dead or on the streets. It worse and worse until she DSH'd and took an overdose.

 

She went by ambulance to LRI where she was kept in until a bed was found at the Bradgate unit. That was last Wednesday.

 

The psych's have decided to put her back on quetiapine, the drug used to control her schizophrenic/paranoid thinking. Why they ever took her off it, I can't fathom.

 

They also want to put her Respiradone to manage her Bi-Polar Disorder. She had that before and suffered quite badly from side effects which were shuffling slow movements, slow speech, twitching and muscle spasms. If you've ever watched One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, you'll know. Horrible to see in a real person.

 

They initially said daily tabs to monitor her reaction to it, but for some reason have now given her a depot injection which lasts for 28 days which means if she does have a reaction, the drug can't be stopped being given and the side effects could last for 4 weeks.

 

I despair. Our daughter isn't really in a fit state mentally to understand all of what is going on and we aren't ever consulted.

 

 

Edited 18 June by Parafox

[Flamey]

@Parafox that is absolutely awful to hear, all the best to you and family through what must be an incredibly stressful time.

[urban.spaceman]

5 hours ago, Parafox said:

Daughter is back in MHU, this time under section 3 (up to 6 months in hospital) as she has relapsed after being discharged 4 weeks ago,

 

She spiralled quite quickly, becoming increasingly paranoid again and was sending us lots of hateful texts and VM's accusing us of wanting her to dead or on the streets. It worse and worse until she DSH'd and took an overdose.

 

She went by ambulance to LRI where she was kept in until a bed was found at the Bradgate unit. That was last Wednesday.

 

The psych's have decided to put her back on quetiapine, the drug used to control her schizophrenic/paranoid thinking. Why they ever took her off it, I can't fathom.

 

They also want to put her Respiradone to manage her Bi-Polar Disorder. She had that before and suffered quite badly from side effects which were shuffling slow movements, slow speech, twitching and muscle spasms. If you've ever watched One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, you'll know. Horrible to see in a real person.

 

They initially said daily tabs to monitor her reaction to it, but for some reason have now given her a depot injection which lasts for 28 days which means if she does have a reaction, the drug can't be stopped being given and the side effects could last for 4 weeks.

 

I despair. Our daughter isn't really in a fit state mentally to understand all of what is going on and we aren't ever consulted.

 

 

Awful to read mate, so sorry that she's unwell. Hope she's getting the help she needs.

[HighPeakFox]

13 hours ago, Parafox said:

Daughter is back in MHU, this time under section 3 (up to 6 months in hospital) as she has relapsed after being discharged 4 weeks ago,

 

She spiralled quite quickly, becoming increasingly paranoid again and was sending us lots of hateful texts and VM's accusing us of wanting her to dead or on the streets. It worse and worse until she DSH'd and took an overdose.

 

She went by ambulance to LRI where she was kept in until a bed was found at the Bradgate unit. That was last Wednesday.

 

The psych's have decided to put her back on quetiapine, the drug used to control her schizophrenic/paranoid thinking. Why they ever took her off it, I can't fathom.

 

They also want to put her Respiradone to manage her Bi-Polar Disorder. She had that before and suffered quite badly from side effects which were shuffling slow movements, slow speech, twitching and muscle spasms. If you've ever watched One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, you'll know. Horrible to see in a real person.

 

They initially said daily tabs to monitor her reaction to it, but for some reason have now given her a depot injection which lasts for 28 days which means if she does have a reaction, the drug can't be stopped being given and the side effects could last for 4 weeks.

 

I despair. Our daughter isn't really in a fit state mentally to understand all of what is going on and we aren't ever consulted.

I didn't know what to say. I still don't. 

 

Just wishing you all the best of everything. 

[Fosse93]

Struggling at the minute.

 

Had to present a report I created to a few of the business top dogs yesterday in London. It started out really well and then all of a sudden (this might sound a bit weird) I was struggling to swallow and couldn't speak, and then started gagging in front of everyone.

 

They were nice about it and told me to leave as we'd gone through most of what we needed to by then, but on the train back I just felt humiliated. I suffer constantly with throat related issues which I thought were due to reflux, I even had surgery to 'fix' this last year but the worst symptoms are still happening, which leads me to think it's an anxiety issue. I have suffered with anxiety / depression for a few years now - not sure if anyone else has experienced these kind of symptoms?

 

Got some more trips out planned next week at different sites and honestly just dreading the thought of it now.

Edited 19 June by Fosse93

[Trav Le Bleu]

5 hours ago, Fosse93 said:

Struggling at the minute.

 

Had to present a report I created to a few of the business top dogs yesterday in London. It started out really well and then all of a sudden (this might sound a bit weird) I was struggling to swallow and couldn't speak, and then started gagging in front of everyone.

 

They were nice about it and told me to leave as we'd gone through most of what we needed to by then, but on the train back I just felt humiliated. I suffer constantly with throat related issues which I thought were due to reflux, I even had surgery to 'fix' this last year but the worst symptoms are still happening, which leads me to think it's an anxiety issue. I have suffered with anxiety / depression for a few years now - not sure if anyone else has experienced these kind of symptoms?

 

Got some more trips out planned next week at different sites and honestly just dreading the thought of it now.

Go on your trips. Staying home won't help your anxiety, going out, distracting yourself, will. I get that you might get embarrassed, but it's only a might. If you lock yourself away, it will definitely reinforce your anxiety. Don't worry about stuff you have no control over, it achieves nothing.

 

I know though, easier said than done.

[Fosse93]

6 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Go on your trips. Staying home won't help your anxiety, going out, distracting yourself, will. I get that you might get embarrassed, but it's only a might. If you lock yourself away, it will definitely reinforce your anxiety. Don't worry about stuff you have no control over, it achieves nothing.

 

I know though, easier said than done.

This makes a lot of sense, and is good advice - thank you.

[Izzy]

7 hours ago, Fosse93 said:

Struggling at the minute.

 

Had to present a report I created to a few of the business top dogs yesterday in London. It started out really well and then all of a sudden (this might sound a bit weird) I was struggling to swallow and couldn't speak, and then started gagging in front of everyone.

 

They were nice about it and told me to leave as we'd gone through most of what we needed to by then, but on the train back I just felt humiliated. I suffer constantly with throat related issues which I thought were due to reflux, I even had surgery to 'fix' this last year but the worst symptoms are still happening, which leads me to think it's an anxiety issue. I have suffered with anxiety / depression for a few years now - not sure if anyone else has experienced these kind of symptoms?

 

Got some more trips out planned next week at different sites and honestly just dreading the thought of it now.

Can relate to this but a different physical ailment.

 

I've mentioned numerous times on here that I had my colon removed about 20 years and suffer the consequences of that every day (increased frequency). I also have Crohn's disease which flares up out of the blue. All very debilitating.

 

Last month I had a procedure under GA and had a work gig a few days after with a new client (I'm a leadership coach & trainer). I seriously considered cancelling it but I couldn't afford to lose the money or the client and it had been in the diary for months. I didn't want to let them down last minute.

 

I stayed in a hotel the night before and was up all night with my guts playing up. I rocked up to deliver the training to 12 senior Executives at 0830 feeling like absolute shit and knowing I'd need to nip off to the bog frequently during the day. 

 

I stood up in front of them to introduce myself and decided to briefly tell my story. I explained I'd just come out of hospital and that I wasn't on top form but to bear with me. 

 

During the day different people kept coming up to me 1:1 to check how I was doing (which was lovely of them). The day went well and the group gave me energy, and on reflection I'm so glad I called it out.

 

I find most people respond well to vulnerability and honesty. I felt a twat telling them but didn't really have an option. I'd absolutely do the same next time.

 

So my advice is be brave and just own it. Call it out before you start presenting and say you suffer from throat issues which might manifest themselves with you gagging and struggling to speak. Just take your time, drink some water, compose yourself, and go again.

 

Please don't feel humiliated about your symptoms. People will be absolutely fine if you explain it and they'll do their best to help you get through it.

 

Best of luck and keep truckin.

 

[Samilktray]

Got an appointment with a medical professional tomorrow to help determine whether I’m just very miserable, or maybe something more 

[Trav Le Bleu]

25 minutes ago, Samilktray said:

Got an appointment with a medical professional tomorrow to help determine whether I’m just very miserable, or maybe something more 

All the best.

 

You could always find a different club to support, that might help.