Depression

[UniFox21]

On 06/08/2024 at 15:29, Wymsey said:

Feel for those long-term unemployed.

 

Am only on month one of it, but can see how rejections can hit you - no matter how much that one tries.

Don't think you can count it as long term, but after graduating it took me a good 4/5 months to find a job.

Seeing rejections from part-time shop jobs alongside full time jobs in the field I wanted was the biggest gut punch. 

[filthyfox]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cy84x7rrppno

 

It's a bloody serious thing.  Why does it get "rubbished"  so often?

[urban.spaceman]

Having a bit of a struggle the last few days. My final deadline for my course is a week on Friday. I have to hand in my third and final draft of my script, and a 4,000 word essay. Trouble is when I finished my second draft in mid July, I went away to Latvia for a week for my friend's wedding and so didn't work on it as I wanted to enjoy my time away and let it percolate. Turns out the wedding was a ****ing COVID superspreader event, and I caught it for the first time, and it's wiped me out. I tested negative a week ago but am still suffering from fatigue and brain fog, so I haven't been able to make any progress with either the new draft (which requires some heavy surgery) or my essay (and I ****ing hate essays). Worse, the university has allowed the course tutor to leave after 10 years for a project of his own, a full month before our deadline, and left no instruction on who to contact for help or advice for our projects. Even if there was another tutor coming in, they wouldn't be familiar with our projects so wouldn't be able to help as much. My fellow students seem equally despondent about it; it feels like we've been just abandoned or sabotaged at our hour of need. I'm going to need an extension due to the lost time but there's nobody to ****ing contact about it. Adding to this stress is the pressure of finding work after this. The next step would be for me to get an agent which requires networking, in London. I don't even know where to start; it's bad enough that I've always struggled with normal employment let alone a reasonably specialised career that I'm going for, ostensibly now without the support I'd been promised at the start of this course. The whole thing has just fallen apart in the third semester. I just feel bereft at my lack of control of the things that are affecting my life. Again. I had so looked forward to this summer/year as being transformative, now I just feel let down.

[Izzy]

55 minutes ago, urban.spaceman said:

Having a bit of a struggle the last few days. My final deadline for my course is a week on Friday. I have to hand in my third and final draft of my script, and a 4,000 word essay. Trouble is when I finished my second draft in mid July, I went away to Latvia for a week for my friend's wedding and so didn't work on it as I wanted to enjoy my time away and let it percolate. Turns out the wedding was a ****ing COVID superspreader event, and I caught it for the first time, and it's wiped me out. I tested negative a week ago but am still suffering from fatigue and brain fog, so I haven't been able to make any progress with either the new draft (which requires some heavy surgery) or my essay (and I ****ing hate essays). Worse, the university has allowed the course tutor to leave after 10 years for a project of his own, a full month before our deadline, and left no instruction on who to contact for help or advice for our projects. Even if there was another tutor coming in, they wouldn't be familiar with our projects so wouldn't be able to help as much. My fellow students seem equally despondent about it; it feels like we've been just abandoned or sabotaged at our hour of need. I'm going to need an extension due to the lost time but there's nobody to ****ing contact about it. Adding to this stress is the pressure of finding work after this. The next step would be for me to get an agent which requires networking, in London. I don't even know where to start; it's bad enough that I've always struggled with normal employment let alone a reasonably specialised career that I'm going for, ostensibly now without the support I'd been promised at the start of this course. The whole thing has just fallen apart in the third semester. I just feel bereft at my lack of control of the things that are affecting my life. Again. I had so looked forward to this summer/year as being transformative, now I just feel let down.

Can you not get in touch with the outgoing course tutor for some guidance? I assume you've still got their contact details?

 

Even though they're off to do a new project, I'm sure they'll be able to offer you some advice around next steps so you don't feel abandoned. I'd be banging their door down for help...

[HighPeakFox]

4 hours ago, filthyfox said:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cy84x7rrppno

 

It's a bloody serious thing.  Why does it get "rubbished"  so often?

I suspect that it is because, in the minds of many, it is seen as a result of weakness, and confronting that myth as well as dealing with the problems stemming from male identity issues / lack of emotional awareness & maturity in men, is just too difficult or challenging to many. 

 

I consider myself to be fairly aware of feelings and my own sensitivities, as well as my insecurities, and yet I still struggle at times. So goodness knows what more 'old school' men go through. 

Edited 12 August by HighPeakFox

[Trav Le Bleu]

2 hours ago, Izzy said:

Can you not get in touch with the outgoing course tutor for some guidance? I assume you've still got their contact details?

 

Even though they're off to do a new project, I'm sure they'll be able to offer you some advice around next steps so you don't feel abandoned. I'd be banging their door down for help...

The Iz speaks sooth.

 

(Sorry, been reading too many fantasy novels recently.)

 

Also, don't view it as a problem, view it as a chance to show your abilities. Search online for people who have had the same situation (you're certainly not the first (and sorry, never been to Uni, I'm not that person)) and find out how they came through. 

[ajthefox]

4 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Having a bit of a struggle the last few days. My final deadline for my course is a week on Friday. I have to hand in my third and final draft of my script, and a 4,000 word essay. Trouble is when I finished my second draft in mid July, I went away to Latvia for a week for my friend's wedding and so didn't work on it as I wanted to enjoy my time away and let it percolate. Turns out the wedding was a ****ing COVID superspreader event, and I caught it for the first time, and it's wiped me out. I tested negative a week ago but am still suffering from fatigue and brain fog, so I haven't been able to make any progress with either the new draft (which requires some heavy surgery) or my essay (and I ****ing hate essays). Worse, the university has allowed the course tutor to leave after 10 years for a project of his own, a full month before our deadline, and left no instruction on who to contact for help or advice for our projects. Even if there was another tutor coming in, they wouldn't be familiar with our projects so wouldn't be able to help as much. My fellow students seem equally despondent about it; it feels like we've been just abandoned or sabotaged at our hour of need. I'm going to need an extension due to the lost time but there's nobody to ****ing contact about it. Adding to this stress is the pressure of finding work after this. The next step would be for me to get an agent which requires networking, in London. I don't even know where to start; it's bad enough that I've always struggled with normal employment let alone a reasonably specialised career that I'm going for, ostensibly now without the support I'd been promised at the start of this course. The whole thing has just fallen apart in the third semester. I just feel bereft at my lack of control of the things that are affecting my life. Again. I had so looked forward to this summer/year as being transformative, now I just feel let down.

Perhaps worth a few of you writing to the department formally and saying look this is a critical time for us we need input.

 

Someone will have to mark it all so surely they will have someone earmarked to the course in one way or another? 

[chrishlcfc]

Struggling been ill for the last week. I really struggle even more when I’m not very well. Can’t deal with anything at all.

 

Not posted on here for quite a long time. Nothing has changed in my life. I have plans, targets, ambitions just can’t find the motivation to do them or some like passing my driving test I just can’t afford to do.

 

I just sit at home currently, haven’t work for a year or more. I hate my life so much but I’m the only one who can change it and I’m that far into my head that I’m struggling so much to change it.

 

I’ve just arranged to go see a counsellor, I’ve seen a few before and had cbt sessions but they were wasted on me as it was through the NHS and the company Vita Minds were basically crap I spoke with 4 different practitioners in like 10 sessions and it became pointless.

 

So fed up with my current state of affairs, it’s crippling me, not helped by some physical problems as well. Just so fed up with life. Could disappear and never return so easily. 

 

 

[harpendenfox]

36 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

Struggling been ill for the last week. I really struggle even more when I’m not very well. Can’t deal with anything at all.

 

Not posted on here for quite a long time. Nothing has changed in my life. I have plans, targets, ambitions just can’t find the motivation to do them or some like passing my driving test I just can’t afford to do.

 

I just sit at home currently, haven’t work for a year or more. I hate my life so much but I’m the only one who can change it and I’m that far into my head that I’m struggling so much to change it.

 

I’ve just arranged to go see a counsellor, I’ve seen a few before and had cbt sessions but they were wasted on me as it was through the NHS and the company Vita Minds were basically crap I spoke with 4 different practitioners in like 10 sessions and it became pointless.

 

So fed up with my current state of affairs, it’s crippling me, not helped by some physical problems as well. Just so fed up with life. Could disappear and never return so easily. 

 

 

very sorry to hear this, and I suspect there is little I can do to help you, other than sympathise. 

 

Forgive this question, which you might consider impertinent. But tell us, if you can, what things make you smile? What brings you joy in your life?  These things may feel far away at the moment, but remembering what does make you feel good might be a starting point. 

 

I sincerely wish you all the very best. Keep on sharing if you can

[bovril]

2 hours ago, chrishlcfc said:

Struggling been ill for the last week. I really struggle even more when I’m not very well. Can’t deal with anything at all.

 

Not posted on here for quite a long time. Nothing has changed in my life. I have plans, targets, ambitions just can’t find the motivation to do them or some like passing my driving test I just can’t afford to do.

 

I just sit at home currently, haven’t work for a year or more. I hate my life so much but I’m the only one who can change it and I’m that far into my head that I’m struggling so much to change it.

 

I’ve just arranged to go see a counsellor, I’ve seen a few before and had cbt sessions but they were wasted on me as it was through the NHS and the company Vita Minds were basically crap I spoke with 4 different practitioners in like 10 sessions and it became pointless.

 

So fed up with my current state of affairs, it’s crippling me, not helped by some physical problems as well. Just so fed up with life. Could disappear and never return so easily. 

 

 

This sounds really obvious but being ill is crap. I was more ill over Easter than I've probably ever been. Maybe some bad Covid strain or something but I was coughing my guts up, then did my back in, and it absolutely sucked. Lost loads of weight. And it seriously affects your mental health because you can't sleep and also because your brain is linked to e.g. your gut health and all those other things I don't know much about. No two ways about it - it is shit. 

But it will get better. Physically you will improve and with it your mental health will improve. Keep focussing on that.

Can you do small tasks? When I was feeling shit I deep cleaned my flat. It's never been as clean! It felt like a silver lining, plus a bit of very minor physical exercise helped loads. 

I'm not great with this kind of advice tbh and I know being without work for a long time is really difficult. As I posted above I was without work a bit and creating some structure and schedule to my day helped a lot.

Things will get better. Please keep us updated as to how you're feeling and what you're up to. 

[chrishlcfc]

1 hour ago, harpendenfox said:

very sorry to hear this, and I suspect there is little I can do to help you, other than sympathise. 

 

Forgive this question, which you might consider impertinent. But tell us, if you can, what things make you smile? What brings you joy in your life?  These things may feel far away at the moment, but remembering what does make you feel good might be a starting point. 

 

I sincerely wish you all the very best. Keep on sharing if you can

 

Thanks for replying. The things that I enjoy are sport basically, sport is my life. Football and cricket. I love playing cricket but it is going so badly for my team at the moment it’s making me even more down unfortunately. I can take losing, being trounced every week has disheartened me to that as well. 

[harpendenfox]

8 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

 

Thanks for replying. The things that I enjoy are sport basically, sport is my life. Football and cricket. I love playing cricket but it is going so badly for my team at the moment it’s making me even more down unfortunately. I can take losing, being trounced every week has disheartened me to that as well. 

I see you are going to the County tomorrow. Hope you have a great day. The place carries a lot of happy memories for me from my childhood, and my Dad was heavily involved for years. 

[harpendenfox]

9 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

 

Thanks for replying. The things that I enjoy are sport basically, sport is my life. Football and cricket. I love playing cricket but it is going so badly for my team at the moment it’s making me even more down unfortunately. I can take losing, being trounced every week has disheartened me to that as well. 

As for the sport, I know many of us allow our sport to play a huge role in our lives. The City have the power to both make and ruin my day. But we have to keep telling ourselves it really is only a game! Enjoy tomorrow.

[Torquay Gunner]

7 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

 

Thanks for replying. The things that I enjoy are sport basically, sport is my life. Football and cricket. I love playing cricket but it is going so badly for my team at the moment it’s making me even more down unfortunately. I can take losing, being trounced every week has disheartened me to that as well. 

This probably won't help by telling you there are many people out there in your situation, myself for one.  I moved to a new county with my partner in March and it took us a couple months to sort the new house out.  I have not worked since the move and I whilst I am only looking for a part time job (thanks to a small pension) it seems an impossible task.  For my mental health and to try and meet new people,  I started walking football back in May, but doing my second session I tore my groin and am still recovering from it.  My partner is visiting her family in London this week and I am trying not to climb the walls.  I just try and tell myself this is only temporary and life will get better.  The football season I hope will be a welcome distraction.  Anyway, I hope things can turn around for you soon. 

[Free Falling Foxes]

17 hours ago, chrishlcfc said:

 

Thanks for replying. The things that I enjoy are sport basically, sport is my life. Football and cricket. I love playing cricket but it is going so badly for my team at the moment it’s making me even more down unfortunately. I can take losing, being trounced every week has disheartened me to that as well. 

I remember a 1500m race at an Olympic event some years ago, where a runner came not only last but way, way behind the others.

He received a massive ovation from the crowd.

Folk admire triers, folk who may not be winners on the day but who are still determined to go out there, give it their best and carry-on.

That takes tremendous guts and strength of character.

Your team may be struggling and perhaps your own form has dipped at the moment but be in the moment. It's a smashing game, you're fit enough to play it and it often takes place in lovely surroundings. Take that environment in. Good luck.

[Free Falling Foxes]

Positive story.

[Wymsey]

Wonder how much of a taboo mental health is in the workplace in general?

[Izzy]

1 minute ago, Wymsey said:

Wonder how much of a taboo mental health is in the workplace in general?

My sense is that it's far from taboo in most grown up workplaces. The larger corporate businesses that I work with take it very seriously and have trained mental health first aiders in place to support colleagues.

 

Most businesses worth their salt know that it's a big issue and if they want to get the best out of their employees, ensuring good mental health among the workforce is vital.

 

I'm sure there are some workplaces where it's sill a taboo subject but if so, they're miles behind the times and their leadership is failing.

 

[urban.spaceman]

On 12/08/2024 at 12:53, Izzy said:

Can you not get in touch with the outgoing course tutor for some guidance? I assume you've still got their contact details?

 

Even though they're off to do a new project, I'm sure they'll be able to offer you some advice around next steps so you don't feel abandoned. I'd be banging their door down for help...

 

On 12/08/2024 at 15:30, Trav Le Bleu said:

The Iz speaks sooth.

 

(Sorry, been reading too many fantasy novels recently.)

 

Also, don't view it as a problem, view it as a chance to show your abilities. Search online for people who have had the same situation (you're certainly not the first (and sorry, never been to Uni, I'm not that person)) and find out how they came through. 

 

On 12/08/2024 at 16:39, ajthefox said:

Perhaps worth a few of you writing to the department formally and saying look this is a critical time for us we need input.

 

Someone will have to mark it all so surely they will have someone earmarked to the course in one way or another? 

Good news, a 10 day extension granted! Feeling slightly better but struggling to push out extraneous stuff occupying my mind in order to get back into the writing groove. Thinking of asking Mark to ban me from the forum for a couple of weeks...

[UniFox21]

Found myself in an incredibly demotivated state these past few weeks; having to force myself to do things I usually enjoy etc.

 

I find myself always coming back to the question of how do people manage to get up, go to work etc and do the mundane routine for the best part of 40/50 years. I'm late 20's and I'm very ready to be done with it all. 

[HowardsBulletHeader]

1 hour ago, UniFox21 said:

Found myself in an incredibly demotivated state these past few weeks; having to force myself to do things I usually enjoy etc.

 

I find myself always coming back to the question of how do people manage to get up, go to work etc and do the mundane routine for the best part of 40/50 years. I'm late 20's and I'm very ready to be done with it all. 

I completely hear you, as someone who has just hopped out of their late 20s, I often wonder this myself. This probably wasnt what you were referring to, but I think with social media nowadays it's even harder.

 

Back in the day, you'd have no idea who travelled anywhere, who was doing these things that you're like "wow that's amazing", unless they were your true closest friends. Now it's so easy to get sucked into the social media whirlwind, sit on your socials for 15/20 minutes and see how "amazing" everyone's life is through that. 

 

Some people are really career driven to the point that dictates their lives, others aren't. A massive part of everything I've learnt is acceptance. I know at the company I'm at, I'm never going to be the highest earner, I'll earn a decent (to me anyway) salary and I'm cool with that, the reality to me is that my career will never define me. I don't want it to take over my life, there are far more important things for me.

 

Family and friends are just absolutely everything, people are everything. I always remember watching something that will stick with me forever:

 

"If I offered you a million pounds tomorrow, no strings, you'd take it, right?" 

 

"Yes of course"

 

"But what if I now told you, the million pounds was yours, but it meant you'd die tomorrow"

 

"Oh, no way, I don't want the money"

 

And that's why life, yours and others, is worth more than a million pounds.

 

In amongst all of this waffle, I hope I've written something useful to someone. The career you have, will never define you. Sure, it dictates a lot of things that you do, but for me I know that being a better person is more important than whatever my career ends up being. 

[Molson Canadian]

On 13/08/2024 at 04:20, chrishlcfc said:

Struggling been ill for the last week. I really struggle even more when I’m not very well. Can’t deal with anything at all.

 

Not posted on here for quite a long time. Nothing has changed in my life. I have plans, targets, ambitions just can’t find the motivation to do them or some like passing my driving test I just can’t afford to do.

 

I just sit at home currently, haven’t work for a year or more. I hate my life so much but I’m the only one who can change it and I’m that far into my head that I’m struggling so much to change it.

 

I’ve just arranged to go see a counsellor, I’ve seen a few before and had cbt sessions but they were wasted on me as it was through the NHS and the company Vita Minds were basically crap I spoke with 4 different practitioners in like 10 sessions and it became pointless.

 

So fed up with my current state of affairs, it’s crippling me, not helped by some physical problems as well. Just so fed up with life. Could disappear and never return so easily. 

 

 

Hi.

 

I have not seen any of your previous posts, has your Dr ever prescribed medication to help you?  Don't answer this if your not comfortable, or don't want to.  

 

I hope you find some insights with a counsellor.  

 

The fact that you have seeked help for your concerns is a tremendous step itself.  It is courageous for you to do so.  Many people don't and suffer in silence.  You have started on the right path, keep trying.  Wishing you the best for you always.

[MaidstoneFox]

1 hour ago, UniFox21 said:

Found myself in an incredibly demotivated state these past few weeks; having to force myself to do things I usually enjoy etc.

 

I find myself always coming back to the question of how do people manage to get up, go to work etc and do the mundane routine for the best part of 40/50 years. I'm late 20's and I'm very ready to be done with it all. 

You may want to make an appointment with your GP. Sounds like you could be feeling depressed.

Don't worry about the next 40 years, set yourself some short term aims. 

I remember going through a break-up in my late 20s and feeling devastated - I was living in a town (Luton, enough to send anyone over the edge) I didn't want to be in and I was in debt. So I just tried to sort myself out with what I could control: I moved to a cheaper place elsewhere and I set myself very strict spending targets to get rid of my debt; joined the gym; found another job; started saving for a house deposit once debt was cleared. I didn't have much fun for a year, but it really helped me focus and as things started to change it made me feel better about myself.

[filthyfox]

2 hours ago, UniFox21 said:

Found myself in an incredibly demotivated state these past few weeks; having to force myself to do things I usually enjoy etc.

 

I find myself always coming back to the question of how do people manage to get up, go to work etc and do the mundane routine for the best part of 40/50 years. I'm late 20's and I'm very ready to be done with it all. 

Absolutely, unequivocally you need to sort your life out mate.  And it ISNT weakness to seek medicinal chemical help authorised by a doctor.

[filthyfox]

Ps....   I'M A SURVIVOR!!!!