Depression

[brookfox]

9 hours ago, Fosse93 said:

Struggling at the minute.

 

Had to present a report I created to a few of the business top dogs yesterday in London. It started out really well and then all of a sudden (this might sound a bit weird) I was struggling to swallow and couldn't speak, and then started gagging in front of everyone.

 

They were nice about it and told me to leave as we'd gone through most of what we needed to by then, but on the train back I just felt humiliated. I suffer constantly with throat related issues which I thought were due to reflux, I even had surgery to 'fix' this last year but the worst symptoms are still happening, which leads me to think it's an anxiety issue. I have suffered with anxiety / depression for a few years now - not sure if anyone else has experienced these kind of symptoms?

 

Got some more trips out planned next week at different sites and honestly just dreading the thought of it now.

Maybe think through when it happens. If it’s as common when talking to family/friends as in stressful situations it might be physical. Sounds like it might be more anxiety based though given how you describe the scenario.

 

I often get a very (like very!) dry mouth when presenting so knowing it will happen always have a drink with me and on occasions pop a tic tac under the tongue before hand to produce more saliva! Seems trivial advice but thought I’d share.

 

And if you can defo face into it 👍🏻

[Jon the Hat]

17 hours ago, Fosse93 said:

Struggling at the minute.

 

Had to present a report I created to a few of the business top dogs yesterday in London. It started out really well and then all of a sudden (this might sound a bit weird) I was struggling to swallow and couldn't speak, and then started gagging in front of everyone.

 

They were nice about it and told me to leave as we'd gone through most of what we needed to by then, but on the train back I just felt humiliated. I suffer constantly with throat related issues which I thought were due to reflux, I even had surgery to 'fix' this last year but the worst symptoms are still happening, which leads me to think it's an anxiety issue. I have suffered with anxiety / depression for a few years now - not sure if anyone else has experienced these kind of symptoms?

 

Got some more trips out planned next week at different sites and honestly just dreading the thought of it now.

I find generally people are much more willing to seer the best in your than you think.  As a senior bod myself, I have seen my fair share of nervous people, sometimes to the point of having to stop and leave.  I hope someone reached out to you after to make sure you were ok.  Sounds like you got the job done either way!

[urban.spaceman]

Had a horrible bout of fatigue yesterday, after having been feeling unwell for a couple of weeks. Stood up too quick, my laptop slipped out of my fingers, hit the carpet rug and smashed the screen. Apple are now charging £500 to fix, and I’m away from my project for over a week because I don’t have another laptop and my tablet is unusable. Everything is ****ed. I’d been so looking forward to this summer since last year. Graduating, new career opportunities, everything was going to finally click and I would have my oldest friend’s stag do this weekend, two massive gigs, then his wedding in Latvia to celebrate. My employer let me down at the last minute last month, and now I am even worse off AND locked out of my project for over a week. I can’t even enjoy myself over the next week; my fatigue is a real barrier to improving my fitness and has now set me back financially, physically and academically. I’ve been in a hole for so long now that every single time I try to move forward, something happens to really put me in the shit. One set forward, a thousand steps back. Genuinely feels like there is absolutely no point in even trying any more. Just when I couldn’t feel more worthless. 

[Libertine]

Sorry to hear that US.  I've been going through similar recently. Been generally unwell on and off for a couple of weeks at least and had D+V over the weekend, felt like I was improving Mon/Tues but then slipped back yesterday and today. Starting to get paranoid there's a more serious problem rather than just a bug or something. I might be alright for a while but then just get this feeling like a black cloud has enveloped me (physically rather than mentally). Had an online consult with GP who just said to carry on doing what  I'm doing for now and report back if no better. Had to miss Foo Fighters gig on Saturday (third time I've had tickets for them and something's gone wrong). Supposed to be seeing Green Day tomorrow but who knows how I'll be. Feel like in 2024 I've gone from one problem to the next - be it constant dental problems, feeling crap physically or mentally - and I'm just exhausted and have many times where I just want to give up. It's my birthday on Monday and we're supposed to be getting a dog next week and I just really want to be well enough to deal with that. Obviously I'll seek GP help again next week if no better.

[Trav Le Bleu]

2 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Had a horrible bout of fatigue yesterday, after having been feeling unwell for a couple of weeks. Stood up too quick, my laptop slipped out of my fingers, hit the carpet rug and smashed the screen. Apple are now charging £500 to fix, and I’m away from my project for over a week because I don’t have another laptop and my tablet is unusable. Everything is ****ed. I’d been so looking forward to this summer since last year. Graduating, new career opportunities, everything was going to finally click and I would have my oldest friend’s stag do this weekend, two massive gigs, then his wedding in Latvia to celebrate. My employer let me down at the last minute last month, and now I am even worse off AND locked out of my project for over a week. I can’t even enjoy myself over the next week; my fatigue is a real barrier to improving my fitness and has now set me back financially, physically and academically. I’ve been in a hole for so long now that every single time I try to move forward, something happens to really put me in the shit. One set forward, a thousand steps back. Genuinely feels like there is absolutely no point in even trying any more. Just when I couldn’t feel more worthless. 

Use the time to reset and refresh. If people are expecting stuff you can't deliver, tell them; maybe they will help you out.

 

Nothing comes easy. The greatest art is born of frustration. (It's also a good James song!)

Go on the stag do, enjoy and then get back to it.

[Wymsey]

 

 

[FoxesDeb]

I've made an achievement today, I've finally been able to listen to some music. I'm obviously a long way from being able to listen to anything remotely meaningful, or relatable to Ellis, but we live in a Spanish holiday resort, and the Spanish keep playing the same dance track which I really like.  I found it today, and the only sadness that comes with it is that I would have sent it to Ellis warning him he'd be hearing it in every club here over the summer, but hey, small wins. And he'd probably think it's shit  

 

The lyrics are pretty meaningful, I didn't know that before I translated them though! If I look hard enough I can attach a meaning to everything, and I'm trying hard not to do that. It's been nice to finally listen to something though. 

 

 

It's here, the original and the remix which is the one which has gone viral apparently, and is being played everywhere here, just in case anyone is interested...

 

 

 

 

[FoxesDeb]

On 20/06/2024 at 17:02, urban.spaceman said:

Had a horrible bout of fatigue yesterday, after having been feeling unwell for a couple of weeks. Stood up too quick, my laptop slipped out of my fingers, hit the carpet rug and smashed the screen. Apple are now charging £500 to fix, and I’m away from my project for over a week because I don’t have another laptop and my tablet is unusable. Everything is ****ed. I’d been so looking forward to this summer since last year. Graduating, new career opportunities, everything was going to finally click and I would have my oldest friend’s stag do this weekend, two massive gigs, then his wedding in Latvia to celebrate. My employer let me down at the last minute last month, and now I am even worse off AND locked out of my project for over a week. I can’t even enjoy myself over the next week; my fatigue is a real barrier to improving my fitness and has now set me back financially, physically and academically. I’ve been in a hole for so long now that every single time I try to move forward, something happens to really put me in the shit. One set forward, a thousand steps back. Genuinely feels like there is absolutely no point in even trying any more. Just when I couldn’t feel more worthless. 

How are you doing now @urban.spaceman? 

[Daggers]

On 20/06/2024 at 16:02, urban.spaceman said:

Had a horrible bout of fatigue yesterday, after having been feeling unwell for a couple of weeks. Stood up too quick, my laptop slipped out of my fingers, hit the carpet rug and smashed the screen. Apple are now charging £500 to fix, and I’m away from my project for over a week because I don’t have another laptop and my tablet is unusable. Everything is ****ed. I’d been so looking forward to this summer since last year. Graduating, new career opportunities, everything was going to finally click and I would have my oldest friend’s stag do this weekend, two massive gigs, then his wedding in Latvia to celebrate. My employer let me down at the last minute last month, and now I am even worse off AND locked out of my project for over a week. I can’t even enjoy myself over the next week; my fatigue is a real barrier to improving my fitness and has now set me back financially, physically and academically. I’ve been in a hole for so long now that every single time I try to move forward, something happens to really put me in the shit. One set forward, a thousand steps back. Genuinely feels like there is absolutely no point in even trying any more. Just when I couldn’t feel more worthless. 

Tits, just seen this.

 

Do you have cloud access to your work? I've got backup lappys, I can lend you one if you need it.

[Trav Le Bleu]

59 minutes ago, FoxesDeb said:

How are you doing now @urban.spaceman? 

Hopefully he's recovering from a Latvian stag-do.

[UniFox21]

Struggling a bit with imposter syndrome again and doubting myself in my new role. Just that nagging doubt I've screwed up is constant. 

 

If anything, coming to this thread and seeing people fighting their own battles and doing some amazing things is a real boost to keep pressing on.

[Trav Le Bleu]

9 minutes ago, UniFox21 said:

Struggling a bit with imposter syndrome again and doubting myself in my new role. Just that nagging doubt I've screwed up is constant. 

 

If anything, coming to this thread and seeing people fighting their own battles and doing some amazing things is a real boost to keep pressing on.

Just imagine how Rishi Sunak feels!

 

Seriously though, just talk to people about your doubts, people you trust to be honest with you.

 

I do think this modern trend of people not being critical to avoid hurting others leads to people having self doubt when someone does commend them, in a sort of, "you're just saying that," way. So you don't believe in yourself.

 

Of course there's the saying, "you're your own worst critic," because you are 100% there when any mistake happens. Most people either don't notice or just occasionally notice and probably think they're worse than you because they're 100% there for their own mistakes, which you don't always see.

 

Anyone who thinks they never make mistakes is a moron.

 

I think most discerning people get imposter syndrome from time to time.

[urban.spaceman]

On 24/06/2024 at 17:54, FoxesDeb said:

How are you doing now @urban.spaceman? 

A bit better thank you Deb. It was the financial shock more than anything, as I've got so much on this summer that I'm committed to 100% but haven't financed yet. As it happens Apple fixed my laptop within a day so I got it back yesterday; haven't told my course yet as I want to use the time to try and catch up before deciding if I need an extension for the end of the course. So much has happened during the course of the course (of course) that I have enough justification to ask for one anyway. My mum has essentially gifted me money to replace it which has made me feel even worse for various reasons. Desperate to shake off in time for the gigs.

 

On 24/06/2024 at 18:27, Daggers said:

Tits, just seen this.

 

Do you have cloud access to your work? I've got backup lappys, I can lend you one if you need it.

Everything's in the cloud these days! Thank you so much for the offer though, I had many, but the stumbling block would have been the software which is very expensive. All sorted now.

 

On 24/06/2024 at 18:53, Trav Le Bleu said:

Hopefully he's recovering from a Latvian stag-do.

Still absolutely knackered!

On 20/06/2024 at 16:31, Libertine said:

Sorry to hear that US.  I've been going through similar recently. Been generally unwell on and off for a couple of weeks at least and had D+V over the weekend, felt like I was improving Mon/Tues but then slipped back yesterday and today. Starting to get paranoid there's a more serious problem rather than just a bug or something. I might be alright for a while but then just get this feeling like a black cloud has enveloped me (physically rather than mentally). Had an online consult with GP who just said to carry on doing what  I'm doing for now and report back if no better. Had to miss Foo Fighters gig on Saturday (third time I've had tickets for them and something's gone wrong). Supposed to be seeing Green Day tomorrow but who knows how I'll be. Feel like in 2024 I've gone from one problem to the next - be it constant dental problems, feeling crap physically or mentally - and I'm just exhausted and have many times where I just want to give up. It's my birthday on Monday and we're supposed to be getting a dog next week and I just really want to be well enough to deal with that. Obviously I'll seek GP help again next week if no better.

Sorry you've been unwell mate. I'm seeing the same bands this week. Have already missed a Foos gig before (for a Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band gig in 2008) so this will be my first time. Were Green Day good? I've made the attempt to book a face to face GP appointment and still haven't heard from them. Hope you're able to get your issues sorted.

[Daggers]

3 minutes ago, urban.spaceman said:

A bit better thank you Deb. It was the financial shock more than anything, as I've got so much on this summer that I'm committed to 100% but haven't financed yet. As it happens Apple fixed my laptop within a day so I got it back yesterday; haven't told my course yet as I want to use the time to try and catch up before deciding if I need an extension for the end of the course. So much has happened during the course of the course (of course) that I have enough justification to ask for one anyway. My mum has essentially gifted me money to replace it which has made me feel even worse for various reasons. Desperate to shake off in time for the gigs.

 

Everything's in the cloud these days! Thank you so much for the offer though, I had many, but the stumbling block would have been the software which is very expensive. All sorted now.

 

Still absolutely knackered!

Sorry you've been unwell mate. I'm seeing the same bands this week. Have already missed a Foos gig before (for a Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band gig in 2008) so this will be my first time. Were Green Day good? I've made the attempt to book a face to face GP appointment and still haven't heard from them. Hope you're able to get your issues sorted.

Good, even though chances are I have it installed

[Libertine]

13 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

 

Sorry you've been unwell mate. I'm seeing the same bands this week. Have already missed a Foos gig before (for a Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band gig in 2008) so this will be my first time. Were Green Day good? I've made the attempt to book a face to face GP appointment and still haven't heard from them. Hope you're able to get your issues sorted.

Thanks bud. Yeh I made it to Green Day even though still felt like crap, really good show even if I couldn't quite get into it as I'd liked. 35 songs in all haha. I actually went to see my GP on my birthday  Having some bloods taken next week. Still having issues especially in the morning but feel a lot brighter into the afternoon/evening recently. Got our dog yesterday, she's very nervy anyway but is gradually settling. 

 

Hope you have a great time at your gigs.

[Parafox]

We went to visit our daughter in the Bradgate unit where she still remains although she now has the opportunity to go off the ward and go outside with trusted escorts such as us, her parents.

 

She was desperate to take us to the "secret garden" and we thought it would be some half-arsed attempt to engage people with MH issues by doing a bit of planting and watering.

 

However:

 

 

 

 

An amazing place that is open to all, patients, staff, visitors. It also has a small café for snacks and drinks. It was genuinely like being in another place, like a National Trust garden. Our daughter was so enthusiastic about us seeing it and we all found it so peaceful and, yes, encouraging mindfulness and wellbeing. 

 

I may well be behind the game as I expect many on here will already know about it, but I didn't, even though I have been to the hospital many times in my job and as a visitor to our daughter. 

[Zear0]

2 minutes ago, Parafox said:

We went to visit our daughter in the Bradgate unit where she still remains although she now has the opportunity to go off the ward and go outside with trusted escorts such as us, her parents.

 

She was desperate to take us to the "secret garden" and we thought it would be some half-arsed attempt to engage people with MH issues by doing a bit of planting and watering.

 

However:

 

 

 

 

An amazing place that is open to all, patients, staff, visitors. It also has a small café for snacks and drinks. It was genuinely like being in another place, like a National Trust garden. Our daughter was so enthusiastic about us seeing it and we all found it so peaceful and, yes, encouraging mindfulness and wellbeing. 

 

I may well be behind the game as I expect many on here will already know about it, but I didn't, even though I have been to the hospital many times in my job and as a visitor to our daughter. 

Wonderful they've got that. I've just escaped from ten nights in the LRI and there's literally nothing green and it's so oppressive. 

 

My mum, when she was with us, was at the Glenfield for MH issues so brilliant to see they've got things like that as must make such a difference for the patients. 

[Parafox]

3 minutes ago, Zear0 said:

Wonderful they've got that. I've just escaped from ten nights in the LRI and there's literally nothing green and it's so oppressive. 

 

My mum, when she was with us, was at the Glenfield for MH issues so brilliant to see they've got things like that as must make such a difference for the patients. 

 

Just being there with someone who is unwell and restricted, that can have access to this place, you can see the difference it makes to their wellbeing.

[Libertine]

I work at Glenfield. The Secret Garden is fantastic, must be 5 years or so since they did it and it’s really popular with staff and we often have team meetings there when the weather is good.

[Samilktray]

19 hours ago, Libertine said:

I work at Glenfield. The Secret Garden is fantastic, must be 5 years or so since they did it and it’s really popular with staff and we often have team meetings there when the weather is good.

I bloody knew I’d seen you knocking about at the Glenfield 

[Libertine]

41 minutes ago, Samilktray said:

I bloody knew I’d seen you knocking about at the Glenfield 

 Been there 12 years, man and boy. 

[Wymsey]

This sort of thing really upsets me, particularly with youngsters involved..

 

https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/woman-who-went-railway-track-9370015

 

 

Am quite angry they got arrested, despite being suicidal.

 

I know they committed a crime, but surely someone's wellbeing comes first?..

Edited 1 July by Wymsey

[MPH]

On 01/07/2024 at 07:41, Wymsey said:

This sort of thing really upsets me, particularly with youngsters involved..

 

https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/woman-who-went-railway-track-9370015

 

 

Am quite angry they got arrested, despite being suicidal.

 

I know they committed a crime, but surely someone's wellbeing comes first?..

 

read between the lines, Wymsey! The only way they could legally get them off the train lines ( and to safety) was to arrest them.

[urban.spaceman]

On 01/07/2024 at 12:41, Wymsey said:

This sort of thing really upsets me, particularly with youngsters involved..

 

https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/woman-who-went-railway-track-9370015

 

 

Am quite angry they got arrested, despite being suicidal.

 

I know they committed a crime, but surely someone's wellbeing comes first?..

I've being going down to London once or twice weekly since September and I would say the number of times a train has been delayed/cancelled or the whole system thrown into chaos by someone throwing themselves in front of a train has been about 5-10% of my journeys. A minor inconvenience of course, but I've been utterly shocked at the sheers numbers and regularity. I'd love to see some data on the numbers compared to say 15 years ago. Profoundly awful to see so many people so vulnerable and unwell.

[Zear0]

Bloody hell where to start. Just need to vent! 

 

Felt extremely crap (sickness) a few weeks ago and ended up spending 8 nights on the neurology ward. Whilst the symptoms that got me into hospital went away quite quickly, the consultants were concerned I was suffering with a fairly unpleasant, and untreatable, neurological condition. 

 

Long story short, they now don't think I have this condition, but can't rule it out until I get some test results. Ridiculously these take 6-8 bloody weeks as they're very specialist. 

 

Touch wood everything is OK, but one of my many weaknesses in life is that I've always suffered health anxiety. I got my outpatient referral to see the consultant on 28th August so it's going to be a rough few months waiting for that. Even with the test results, they need interpreting by a specialist so I can't even ring my GP to get the "positive/negative" result from them. 

 

Been having random meltdowns and panic attacks. Spoke to the GP, who didn't want to prescribe anything as, hopefully, it's not a long term issue. 

 

Been referred for counselling to try and help the anxiety as it's just taken over my life. As someone who's always been high energy, it's absolutely floored me and I can't do anything currently. 

 

Just wanted to vent that it's hard at the moment. Thankfully I've nearly unloaded my business so I can park work for the foreseeable whilst I get back on my feet. Never suffered anxiety this severe before and my heart goes out to those who suffer with this chronically.