Depression

[ajthefox]

12 minutes ago, Zear0 said:

Bloody hell where to start. Just need to vent! 

 

Felt extremely crap (sickness) a few weeks ago and ended up spending 8 nights on the neurology ward. Whilst the symptoms that got me into hospital went away quite quickly, the consultants were concerned I was suffering with a fairly unpleasant, and untreatable, neurological condition. 

 

Long story short, they now don't think I have this condition, but can't rule it out until I get some test results. Ridiculously these take 6-8 bloody weeks as they're very specialist. 

 

Touch wood everything is OK, but one of my many weaknesses in life is that I've always suffered health anxiety. I got my outpatient referral to see the consultant on 28th August so it's going to be a rough few months waiting for that. Even with the test results, they need interpreting by a specialist so I can't even ring my GP to get the "positive/negative" result from them. 

 

Been having random meltdowns and panic attacks. Spoke to the GP, who didn't want to prescribe anything as, hopefully, it's not a long term issue. 

 

Been referred for counselling to try and help the anxiety as it's just taken over my life. As someone who's always been high energy, it's absolutely floored me and I can't do anything currently. 

 

Just wanted to vent that it's hard at the moment. Thankfully I've nearly unloaded my business so I can park work for the foreseeable whilst I get back on my feet. Never suffered anxiety this severe before and my heart goes out to those who suffer with this chronically. 

It's no longer being made, but I listened to quite a few episodes of a podcast called Anxiety Bites by a comedian called Jen Kirkman with various specialists. 

 

It won't solve anything but I find hearing/reading others talk about their experiences can be quite cathartic.

 

Hopefully the diagnosis is positive for you bud.

[jgtuk]

So, in the last few weeks, my feelings have flitted between depression to having major anxiety. Sadness and also physical symptoms like racing heart, breathing irregularity and sweats - especially in the night.

I hate what my situation is doing to my wife, it's unbearable at times.

Today I feel angry.

[Trav Le Bleu]

1 hour ago, jgtuk said:

So, in the last few weeks, my feelings have flitted between depression to having major anxiety. Sadness and also physical symptoms like racing heart, breathing irregularity and sweats - especially in the night.

I hate what my situation is doing to my wife, it's unbearable at times.

Today I feel angry.

Have you tried any medication?

 

I resisted medication for ages, then I bit the bullet. It was enough to level me out and I've stopped taking them and I'm fine without.

 

I know that doesn't work the same for everyone, but worth a consideration.

 

 

[Trav Le Bleu]

23 hours ago, Zear0 said:

Bloody hell where to start. Just need to vent! 

 

Felt extremely crap (sickness) a few weeks ago and ended up spending 8 nights on the neurology ward. Whilst the symptoms that got me into hospital went away quite quickly, the consultants were concerned I was suffering with a fairly unpleasant, and untreatable, neurological condition. 

 

Long story short, they now don't think I have this condition, but can't rule it out until I get some test results. Ridiculously these take 6-8 bloody weeks as they're very specialist. 

 

Touch wood everything is OK, but one of my many weaknesses in life is that I've always suffered health anxiety. I got my outpatient referral to see the consultant on 28th August so it's going to be a rough few months waiting for that. Even with the test results, they need interpreting by a specialist so I can't even ring my GP to get the "positive/negative" result from them. 

 

Been having random meltdowns and panic attacks. Spoke to the GP, who didn't want to prescribe anything as, hopefully, it's not a long term issue. 

 

Been referred for counselling to try and help the anxiety as it's just taken over my life. As someone who's always been high energy, it's absolutely floored me and I can't do anything currently. 

 

Just wanted to vent that it's hard at the moment. Thankfully I've nearly unloaded my business so I can park work for the foreseeable whilst I get back on my feet. Never suffered anxiety this severe before and my heart goes out to those who suffer with this chronically. 

I know it must be worrying, but stressing won't change anything between now and the end of August, so enjoy yourself as much as possible (ie, don't watch England play)

 

There's essentially 3 options 

 

1. Worry yourself sick until your diagnosis says all is fine. You'll look back on it and laugh... except you won't cos you'll realise you spent 2 months in constant terror for no reason.

 

2. Worry yourself sick until your diagnosis says all isn't fine. In this scenario you merely extended your problems by 2 months, but at least now things can be treated. So again, 2 months of constant terror that changed nothing.

 

3. Enjoy yourself. Find things to distract yourself. Don't dwell on what you can't do, do what you can. Have things to look forward to. Get your mates round, visit people, travel if possible. 2 months of enjoyment before you actually can change anything.

 

Yeah, I know it's easily said (typed - actually, my carpel tunnel syndrome is making me re-evaluate this expression ) than done, but if you can, then give option 3 a go. I'd say this on anyone awaiting a diagnosis.

 

All the best. Hoping for a good outcome for you.

 

[Zear0]

3 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

I know it must be worrying, but stressing won't change anything between now and the end of August, so enjoy yourself as much as possible (ie, don't watch England play)

 

There's essentially 3 options 

 

1. Worry yourself sick until your diagnosis says all is fine. You'll look back on it and laugh... except you won't cos you'll realise you spent 2 months in constant terror for no reason.

 

2. Worry yourself sick until your diagnosis says all isn't fine. In this scenario you merely extended your problems by 2 months, but at least now things can be treated. So again, 2 months of constant terror that changed nothing.

 

3. Enjoy yourself. Find things to distract yourself. Don't dwell on what you can't do, do what you can. Have things to look forward to. Get your mates round, visit people, travel if possible. 2 months of enjoyment before you actually can change anything.

 

Yeah, I know it's easily said (typed - actually, my carpel tunnel syndrome is making me re-evaluate this expression ) than done, but if you can, then give option 3 a go. I'd say this on anyone awaiting a diagnosis.

 

All the best. Hoping for a good outcome for you.

 

Doing my best! Just a roller-coaster at the moment. Hours where I'm myself and similar periods where the world is ending (metaphorically). 

 

Got a session with the MH specialist on Monday to try and give me some tips of getting on with life. Having two young kids, want to spend time with them and not sulk so do have things to be at my best for. 

 

Even if it is myasthenia, it's not the end of the world and thankfully not as hideous as MS/MND so life will go on either way! 

[jgtuk]

1 hour ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Have you tried any medication?

 

I resisted medication for ages, then I bit the bullet. It was enough to level me out and I've stopped taking them and I'm fine without.

 

I know that doesn't work the same for everyone, but worth a consideration.

 

 

Thanks for the reply.

I haven't even seen a GP. My health is below par but stable most of the time and I'm already taking a shedload of meds so I'm a bit reluctant.

Never had anything like this, not sure what constitutes a panic attack but it's certainly how it feels - fast asleep to wide awake, palpitations and difficulty breathing normally.

If it carries on I'll take your advice and see my GP, although they'll probably recommend CBT or similar (along with a long wait time).

I'm hoping it subsides.

[ajthefox]

5 hours ago, jgtuk said:

So, in the last few weeks, my feelings have flitted between depression to having major anxiety. Sadness and also physical symptoms like racing heart, breathing irregularity and sweats - especially in the night.

I hate what my situation is doing to my wife, it's unbearable at times.

Today I feel angry.

 

1 hour ago, jgtuk said:

Thanks for the reply.

I haven't even seen a GP. My health is below par but stable most of the time and I'm already taking a shedload of meds so I'm a bit reluctant.

Never had anything like this, not sure what constitutes a panic attack but it's certainly how it feels - fast asleep to wide awake, palpitations and difficulty breathing normally.

If it carries on I'll take your advice and see my GP, although they'll probably recommend CBT or similar (along with a long wait time).

I'm hoping it subsides.

I've never had a panic attack but from what I've read/listened to they do sound like symptoms and they can be pretty bloody scary by all accounts - I'd mention this to a GP as I think treating or helping to manage panic attacks could be helpful regardless of whether medication or CBT or anything else is recommended for your more generalised symptoms.

 

I was actually thinking about you the other day mate - I don't really know what to say but I really hope there is a more positive resolution to your situation.

[jgtuk]

MH issues can make you feel very lonely sometimes. 
Dealing with everyday issues whilst trying not to have a meltdown is so tiring too.
Kind words and advice are incredibly therapeutic so thanks everyone. 

 

[ajthefox]

1 hour ago, jgtuk said:

MH issues can make you feel very lonely sometimes. 
Dealing with everyday issues whilst trying not to have a meltdown is so tiring too.
Kind words and advice are incredibly therapeutic so thanks everyone. 

 

I hear you.

 

Although there were several, I think loneliness was the single biggest issue I had when I was really struggling.

 

It's why talking is our most powerful tool.

[Trav Le Bleu]

I'd just like to say something else that has helped me.

 

Just sitting outside and reading. Listening to the birds and soaking up nature. I don't have a fancy garden. I live in an ex-council house on a council estate. The garden faces north and gets little sun, but even on the coldest days I wrap myself up and get a warm drink and spend at least 30 mins enjoying the garden. Doesn't need to be anything fancy to enjoy sitting outside. I say I listen to the birds - that's if the neighbours haven't got music on (not my immediate neighbours, they're very good, but that just shows how loud it is! ) or someone is having an argument a couple of streets away or the rush hour traffic of the nearby ring road allows it.

 

We have bird feeders at the bottom of the garden and I spend ages just watching them. Mainly sparrows. I've always been pretty dismissive of sparrows, but watching them I've come to realise they are full of life. They don't have it easy, but they always are constantly chirping away in groups, flying back and forth, eating, drinking, bathing, getting on with life. It's like Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, consider the sparrow.

 

Suddenly life seems better. If Mr Sparrow is ok, then I'm ok.

 

 

Of course, Jesus never said, consider the sparrowhawk

 

 

[Parafox]

So, for those that have read my posts regarding my daughter and her MH.

 

She has been held under section 3 (up to 6 months) in the Bradgate unit. She was released from that section after 4 weeks and agreed to remain voluntarily and would agree to any support that was put in place for her as long as she continued to present as being well and recovering.

 

Fine.

 

She has been voluntary for 3 weeks and assessed as progressing well by the psych team and they were considering allowing her a phased discharge with support, back to her home.

 

Over the last week we have been getting messages and VM's from her that clearly demonstrate to us that she is still suffering abnormal thinking, still seems to have psychotic episodes and is not well.

 

We have contacted the ward twice to express our concerns about her MH. They said it would be taken on board and discussed during the next ward rounds and we would be contacted. No contact came.

 

This morning my wife had a call from daughter where she was screaming incoherently at my wife, followed by a string of texts expressing her wanting to kill herself, she doesn't deserve to live, she won't comply with the law and will stab anyone who annoys her, she will stab us if we go near her. That the Government are complicit in her being sectioned. That she will be on the rail tracks when she gets out. And more besides.

 

We phoned the ward to alert them about her thoughts and the risk we felt she posed to herself and others. They said they'd pass this on to the psych team. This was about mid-day today.

 

Just now, tonight, we got a message from her to say she'd been discharged and was back in her flat!!!!

 

No support in place. No contacts for her to get support from. Her beloved cat is in a refuge that no-one seems to know how to get him back to her.

 

Phoned the "crisis" team, they'll pass our concerns on to her MH team.

 

It's a ****ing SHAMBLES. And no one seems bothered. 

 

 

 

 

Edited 10 July by Parafox

[casablancas]

On 04/07/2024 at 16:57, jgtuk said:

Thanks for the reply.

I haven't even seen a GP. My health is below par but stable most of the time and I'm already taking a shedload of meds so I'm a bit reluctant.

Never had anything like this, not sure what constitutes a panic attack but it's certainly how it feels - fast asleep to wide awake, palpitations and difficulty breathing normally.

If it carries on I'll take your advice and see my GP, although they'll probably recommend CBT or similar (along with a long wait time).

I'm hoping it subsides.

This is my bread and butter mate. There’s various things I can recommend to help mate and your physical health won’t be a barrier to medication , there’s agents that are actually effective with a general low side effect profile. Cbt and self help will be effective in the longer term, but these are psychological changes that take time, learning and practice. I’m a massive advocate of Cbt and the wait isn’t that bad tbh. I can link sites and professional resources in the mean time -

self help is key as are things like psychosocial changes, routine and exercise.  In the short term depending on your surgery book in with a mental health practitioner rather than a gp will have access to far more and you’ll get more time. Cut caffeine and drink. Message  if ya need anything 

Edited 11 July by casablancas

[jgtuk]

58 minutes ago, casablancas said:

This is my bread and butter mate. There’s various things I can recommend to help mate and your physical health won’t be a barrier to medication , there’s agents that are actually effective with a general low side effect profile. Cbt and self help will be effective in the longer term, but these are psychological changes that take time, learning and practice. I’m a massive advocate of Cbt and the wait isn’t that bad tbh. I can link sites and professional resources in the mean time -

self help is key as are things like psychosocial changes, routine and exercise.  In the short term depending on your surgery book in with a mental health practitioner rather than a gp will have access to far more and you’ll get more time. Cut caffeine and drink. Message  if ya need anything 

Really appreciate this, I agree with you regarding cbt, just the thought of waiting weeks/months to see a practitioner is off putting. I’m really poor at self help, I’ve spent so many years supporting others (through my work) I find it difficult to look after my own physical and mental health. I’m spending most of my time supporting my wife by being strong and positive, which really helps her but leaves me struggling without her knowing. 
My routine is poor, I spend 7 days a week working on the wreck of a house we bought 18 months ago, my wife works away from home for days at a time so I’m quite isolated. 
I feel like I’m pretending to be ‘normal’ with my few interactions with the outside world. 
I’ve also taken on looking after my wife’s stepmother since the death of my Fil as she can’t cope with the modern world, so sorting all of her accounts, utilities insurances etc. and she phones me daily with new things to do. She’s a sweetheart though and I really want to help but feel overwhelmed with it all. 
Anyway, I’ve gone on a bit, sorry 👍

 

[HighPeakFox]

I've been in an emotional holding pattern for 2 years, and wasn't sure I would ever get to land my metaphorical plane. Happily, though, the woman I desire has radioed me to start my descent and (hopefully) make a safe landing. So (obvious sexual imagery aside) we get the chance to see if we can adjust from how we have had to be, to how we imagine we want to be.

 

I know it won't solve any existential issues I have, and I need to not rely on it to make me happy. However, I am the luckiest man alive - that she wants me as much as I want her, after 53 years of nothing remotely close to it, is mind blowing.

 

I have many friends on this thread, and I wanted to share this with you.

[leicsmac]

13 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

I've been in an emotional holding pattern for 2 years, and wasn't sure I would ever get to land my metaphorical plane. Happily, though, the woman I desire has radioed me to start my descent and (hopefully) make a safe landing. So (obvious sexual imagery aside) we get the chance to see if we can adjust from how we have had to be, to how we imagine we want to be.

 

I know it won't solve any existential issues I have, and I need to not rely on it to make me happy. However, I am the luckiest man alive - that she wants me as much as I want her, after 53 years of nothing remotely close to it, is mind blowing.

 

I have many friends on this thread, and I wanted to share this with you.

That is magnificent news, my friend.

[Zear0]

21 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

I've been in an emotional holding pattern for 2 years, and wasn't sure I would ever get to land my metaphorical plane. Happily, though, the woman I desire has radioed me to start my descent and (hopefully) make a safe landing. So (obvious sexual imagery aside) we get the chance to see if we can adjust from how we have had to be, to how we imagine we want to be.

 

I know it won't solve any existential issues I have, and I need to not rely on it to make me happy. However, I am the luckiest man alive - that she wants me as much as I want her, after 53 years of nothing remotely close to it, is mind blowing.

 

I have many friends on this thread, and I wanted to share this with you.

Great news and thanks for sharing.

 

Just don't buy a coffee machine...

[filthyfox]

Word of advice...

 

Do not change CPAP machine and start prozac treatment within 2 weeks of each other!

 

(I'm feeling shit)

[Sampson]

Really feeling it today. Sometimes just reminded how pointless it all is, how Earth is just a meaningless grain of sand in the universe and how humans are just a blink of an eye in the history of that grain of sands. And there we all are stabbing each other, throwing bricks at each other and treating people like they’re some kind of wrong uns because they’re from a different country. 

[jgtuk]

3 minutes ago, Sampson said:

Really feeling it today. Sometimes just reminded how pointless it all is, how Earth is just a meaningless grain of sand in the universe and how humans are just a blink of an eye in the history of that grain of sands. And there we all are stabbing each other, throwing bricks at each other and treating people like they’re some kind of wrong uns because they’re from a different country. 

I’m with you on this, massive issues going on in my personal life without the stuff happening literally everywhere I turn. 
Just about hanging on at the moment. 
 

 

[Libertine]

11 minutes ago, Sampson said:

Really feeling it today. Sometimes just reminded how pointless it all is, how Earth is just a meaningless grain of sand in the universe and how humans are just a blink of an eye in the history of that grain of sands. And there we all are stabbing each other, throwing bricks at each other and treating people like they’re some kind of wrong uns because they’re from a different country. 

 

4 minutes ago, jgtuk said:

I’m with you on this, massive issues going on in my personal life without the stuff happening literally everywhere I turn. 
Just about hanging on at the moment. 
 

 

With you both. I try and focus as much as I can on the good in the world but it feels pointless sometimes against the weight of all the evil and suffering everywhere. 

[Sampson]

3 minutes ago, Libertine said:

 

With you both. I try and focus as much as I can on the good in the world but it feels pointless sometimes against the weight of all the evil and suffering everywhere. 

Yeah, coupled with how meaningless life is in general and how meaningless humans and the earth really are, yet we’re still there tearing each other apart. It’s hard to get your head round sometimes. 

[bovril]

19 minutes ago, Sampson said:

Really feeling it today. Sometimes just reminded how pointless it all is, how Earth is just a meaningless grain of sand in the universe and how humans are just a blink of an eye in the history of that grain of sands. And there we all are stabbing each other, throwing bricks at each other and treating people like they’re some kind of wrong uns because they’re from a different country. 

Life is beautiful and infinitely fascinating. And just because we mere mortals can't work out the meaning to it all, doesn't mean there isn't one.

[filthyfox]

32 minutes ago, Sampson said:

Really feeling it today. Sometimes just reminded how pointless it all is, how Earth is just a meaningless grain of sand in the universe and how humans are just a blink of an eye in the history of that grain of sands. And there we all are stabbing each other, throwing bricks at each other and treating people like they’re some kind of wrong uns because they’re from a different country. 

If Ramesses thought like that, he wouldn't be living forever.

 

Do something legendary.

 

If not do something legendary for someone.

 

I never met my Great Great Uncle...   he died at the battle of the Somme.

 

My wife never met her Great Uncle.  He died capturing a Dutch bridge 3 weeks before the end of world war 2.

 

Both legends

 

 

And I am probably about as close to ending it all right now as I have been in all my life....

And I'm a LONG way away from that

 

Thankyou my friends

 

Edited 31 July by filthyfox

[Sampson]

15 minutes ago, filthyfox said:

If Ramesses thought like that, he wouldn't be living forever.

 

Do something legendary.

 

If not do something legendary for someone.

 

I never met my Great Great Uncle...   he died at the battle of the Somme.

 

My wife never met her Great Uncle.  He died capturing a Dutch bridge 3 weeks before the end of world war 2.

 

Both legends

Ramesses is 6,000 years old in an extremely tiny corner of universe of 14.5billion years and will be long forgotten in another 100,000 years let alone another trillion. He won’t live even 0.00001% of forever tbh. Even Jesus and Mohammed will be long forgotten in 100,000 years. And dinosaurs lived for tens of millions already, humans not even a million. 
 

This isn’t the thread for this debate tbh, but its a very narrow definition of forever and a pretty lousy coping mechanism for humans to assign much more importance to humanity than there is.

Edited 31 July by Sampson

[leicsmac]

33 minutes ago, bovril said:

Life is beautiful and infinitely fascinating. And just because we mere mortals can't work out the meaning to it all, doesn't mean there isn't one.

To paraphrase Hemingway:

 

"Life is a fine thing and worth fighting for.

I agree with the second part."

 

11 minutes ago, Sampson said:

Ramesses is 6,000 years old in an extremely tiny corner of universe of 14.5billion years and will be long forgotten in another 100,000 years let alone another trillion. He won’t live even 0.00001% of forever tbh. Even Jesus and Mohammed will be long forgotten in 100,000 years. And dinosaurs lived for tens of millions already, humans not even a million. 
 

This isn’t the thread for this debate tbh, but its a very narrow definition of forever and a pretty lousy coping mechanism for humans to assign much more importance to humanity than there is.

Yes, humans still have to earn their legacy along the universe. That takes much longer than civilisation has existed yet.

 

But the potential is there, I think.