Depression

[Trav Le Bleu]

2 hours ago, casablancas said:

I have not slept for three nights   luckily work are really chill about it

I'm sure they are, since you do the nightshift.

 

Seriously though, hope you can get a block on that incident or learn to cope. Any trauma support assistance from work?

Edited 30 August by Trav Le Bleu

[filthyfox]

So...

 

This week I had my first therapy session.

Worked on my garden for most of the day...   and picked up a BOOK for the first time in 2 years.

 

Things are looking good...   this is my reward

[casablancas]

5 hours ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

I'm sure they are, since you do the nightshift.

 

Seriously though, hope you can get a block on that incident or learn to cope. Any trauma support assistance from work?

Yeah there is. Just need to see how the next week or two is. It’s still a little early to be looking at trauma work technically I guess. But I’m certainly going to monitor 

[Parafox]

On 28/08/2024 at 05:12, casablancas said:

Copy from another thread as I’m feeling very sh!ty and sorry for  myself. This is a bit heavy so you have been warned…. Trigger warning for RTA. 

 

i attended a RTA as a bystander … was first one there and saw a lady under a truck with the wheel over her. . It is the most harrowing thing I have ever seen. She had several open fractures including of her skull and she had fat hanging out of her belly … I can’t un see it. For those that don’t know I’m a psych nurse by trade but this was well above advanced life support. 
 

I don’t know if she’s made it. It was Fcuking horrendous 

Edited 6 hours ago by casablancas

 

This sort of thing can be particularly difficult for those that witness/are first to arrive at such an overwhelming incident. It's unexpected and suddenly shocking and the brain takes several moments to assimilate and make sense of what you're seeing, then how to react and what to do, if anything.

 

That's something I've often wondered about, how it affects people that witness such a thing. At least we were trained to deal with difficult incidents and also had time en-route to prepare, mentally and professionally for what we might be faced with For those without that, the trauma is deeper and can be re-run in the imagination and thought processes immediately, and for some after the event.

 

Also we had debriefing time after attending something very traumatic, something which bystanders and witnesses don't get.

 

I would imagine that you, as a Psych nurse would have access to some MH counselling and if so, don't prevaricate to see if thoughts and images of what you encountered go away. Talk it through with someone. 

 

 

Edited 30 August by Parafox

[Parafox]

38 minutes ago, casablancas said:

It’s still a little early to be looking at trauma work technically I guess.

 

Why? See my post above.

 

The fresher it is in your mind the more effective some talking therapy will help. I know from my own experiences. As I said in my previous post, we had immediate debriefing/talking following traumatic and difficult incidents. It was undoubtedly helpful. 

[casablancas]

13 minutes ago, Parafox said:

 

Why? See my post above.

 

The fresher it is in your mind the more effective some talking therapy will help. I know from my own experiences. As I said in my previous post, we had immediate debriefing/talking following traumatic and difficult incidents. It was undoubtedly helpful. 

I appreciate your insight bud. 

[Zear0]

2 hours ago, filthyfox said:

So...

 

This week I had my first therapy session.

Worked on my garden for most of the day...   and picked up a BOOK for the first time in 2 years.

 

Things are looking good...   this is my reward

You didn't burn the book did you? 

[filthyfox]

3 minutes ago, Zear0 said:

You didn't burn the book did you? 

No no no noooo...   although some books should, indeed be burnt.

 

Any Shakespeare for example

[Lionator]

Been feeling very low and burnt out recently. Work is a nightmare, people are just completely unresponsive to any help I ask for. My partner also is trying to help but then also told me I need to be more grateful in life for the things I have. Which I wish that I could do, but it doesn’t feel that easy and has made me feel worse about things 

[Sampson]

47 minutes ago, Lionator said:

Been feeling very low and burnt out recently. Work is a nightmare, people are just completely unresponsive to any help I ask for. My partner also is trying to help but then also told me I need to be more grateful in life for the things I have. Which I wish that I could do, but it doesn’t feel that easy and has made me feel worse about things 

I feel you. I understand why people try and offer platitudes like “try to be grateful/mindful” or “try not to focus on things you can’t control” but when I feel low or anxious I find it’s some of the worst things people can say to me. Fact is things out of our control and the overwhelming amount of things that affect how ourselves and our loved ones live our lives that I just find it a gratingly unreasonable suggestion.

Edited 31 August by Sampson

[Trav Le Bleu]

23 hours ago, filthyfox said:

So...

 

This week I had my first therapy session.

Worked on my garden for most of the day...   and picked up a BOOK for the first time in 2 years.

 

Things are looking good...   this is my reward

Was it Shakespeare?

[filthyfox]

26 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Was it Shakespeare?

Haha...   implying that I picked the book and burnt it, rather than read it?

 

Nooe-  I read it, and intend to finish it by end October.

 

I then have another book lined up for afterwards

[urban.spaceman]

On 01/10/2023 at 21:11, urban.spaceman said:

Tumultuous week!

 

We lost my dad's oldest friend last december in quite a shocking way. They were best friends of 60+ years and had always promised each other, like 50 years ago, that they'd both be scattered on Kinder Scout and whoever snuffed it first would have to carry the other's ashes. We chose his birthday, which was last week, and because it would give me a chance to lose weight and get fit enough to climb the 300+m of Jacob's Ladder. So far this year I've lost 2st, which would have been more if i hadn't triggered a recurring Achilles injury. To cut a long story short, I made it to the base of Jacob's Ladder, but my Achilles was hurting so much that I knew I wouldn't be able to make it up there and back without being a major hindrance. So I had to sit brokenhearted for two hours in a really beautiful spot next to a stream. When they came down, his 3 sons (who through a mix up had already made the climb) had brought down with them a tiny tupperware pot. They'd decanted some of him for me to say goodbye personally. So I had a really wonderful private goodbye (to what was probably his dodgy hip ) after a very emotional day. So glad it's over as it's been a really tough loss that I don't think I'll get over soon. I've done really well with alcohol since May (after our relegation was confirmed) but I was always going to treat myself to a nice bottle of whisky, but the great thing is, it didn't give me what it used to give me. It didn't comfort me anymore. I don't need it anymore. I'm not going tee-total, because I love a social drink, but I won't be relying on it like I have been the last few years. My mate's helped me get into edibles which have genuinely helped me change things around.

 

Cut to Wednesday when I had to travel down to London for the night to meet my fellow students and do Goldsmiths admin. This has been the cause of enormous stress the last few weeks with extreme anxiety over my ability, over whether this is the right thing, over the cost, over the practicalities, over meeting people, over pretty much everything. It went really well. I'm a bit rusty with hanging around with people again; COVID forced a bit of reclusivity on me and it's taken 3 years to actually get out of the Shire by myself. I had a great day on Thursday, and even bumped into my sister's London-based bestie at St Pancras which was the icing on the cake because he's such a wonderfully kind-hearted person whose presence just makes you feel better about everything. I'm in dodgy accommodation for the night in London ready to start my course formally tomorrow. For the first time in more than a decade I have some self confidence again, some self belief, some faith in my ability to do something really challenging because, without any hint of arrogance, I not only believe that I can do it but I also believe that I actually might be good at this thing. So this is it, I'm going for it. I'm going to ****ing smash it.

 

"Our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them" - Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha

Eleven months later and I've just handed in my final project and associated literature.

 

101 page screenplay - 23,000 words

7-8000 words of rewrites

3500 word short screenplay with my highest ever academic mark

And 15,000 or so words of supporting materials

60 trips back and forth to Goldsmiths in New Cross in London

11 months

2 emergency laptop repairs

20% student discount at the pub

Many new friends made

(and a nemesis)

New opportunities created

And a shitload of new ideas.

 

I am officially done. Thank you to everyone on here who supported me through this. I honestly couldn't have done this a couple of years ago. I'm still in the process of turning my life around from the bombshell it's been but the future I want is becoming a lot more clearer and possible.

 

I'm going to spend the next few days in bed.

[urban.spaceman]

On 30/08/2024 at 17:57, filthyfox said:

So...

 

This week I had my first therapy session.

Worked on my garden for most of the day...   and picked up a BOOK for the first time in 2 years.

 

Things are looking good...   this is my reward

Nothing beats a good fire. I've got the house to myself for a week in mid September and I'm planning to burn absolutely everything. Absolutely cannot wait. Glad you're doing better!

[Trav Le Bleu]

4 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Nothing beats a good fire. I've got the house to myself for a week in mid September and I'm planning to burn absolutely everything. Absolutely cannot wait. Glad you're doing better!

Including your screenplay?

[urban.spaceman]

2 hours ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Including your screenplay?

It's either that or the laptop

[Wymsey]

Wouldn't say that am depressed, but am finding interview rejection hard to navigate psychologically - even with coaching on how to answer certain questions..

 

I know when once past the process, can be a productive and reliable employee.

 

Suppose one has to fail before getting success etc..

Edited 3 September by Wymsey

[Torquay Gunner]

7 hours ago, Wymsey said:

Wouldn't say that am depressed, but am finding interview rejection hard to navigate psychologically - even with coaching on how to answer certain questions..

 

I know when once past the process, can be a productive and reliable employee.

 

Suppose one has to fail before getting success etc..

Same situation and it's not easy to remain positive. What other choice do we have though. 

[Crinklyfox]

15 hours ago, Wymsey said:

Wouldn't say that am depressed, but am finding interview rejection hard to navigate psychologically - even with coaching on how to answer certain questions..

 

I know when once past the process, can be a productive and reliable employee.

 

Suppose one has to fail before getting success etc..

Not being selected following an interview doesn't make you a failure.  If you have been offered an interview then you have already made it through the initial selection process that sees many applicants deemed as unsuitable for the role.  The interview is there to select the person deemed by the interviewers to be the best fit for the position.

 

I'm retired now but have been interviewed a number of times, and have carried out interviews myself.  There were times when being interviewed that I knew I could do the job well but was not selected; this could have been because the interviewers found someone they thought was better or had other personal preferences to a different candidate.  Occasionally I felt that the interviewers themselves didn't really know what they were looking for.  Not being selected was frustrating but you just have to believe in your own capabilities.

 

When interviewing I was looking for someone who would be competent to carry out the role offered, who demonstrated that they would be happy to carry out that role, and who I thought would fit in well with the rest of the team.  I interviewed very few poor candidates, most could have fulfilled the post and it was unfortunate that some had to be turned down, but that didn't make them unsuitable.

 

To a degree it's a numbers process - only one person is selected from a pool of candidates, there are variables between employers, so the more positions you apply for the more chance you will have of gaining a position.  It can be very frustrating when things aren't going for you but for most its a process that ends with a success.

[Tommy G]

On 03/09/2024 at 16:10, Wymsey said:

Wouldn't say that am depressed, but am finding interview rejection hard to navigate psychologically - even with coaching on how to answer certain questions..

 

I know when once past the process, can be a productive and reliable employee.

 

Suppose one has to fail before getting success etc..

Are you having mock interviews with anyone? 
 

@Greg2607 might be able to help from the other side of the fence in his area of expertise. 

[spacemunky]

I think it's good to see this thread drop a little. Of course, that doesn't mean all is well with everyone.

 

Been struggling myself for awhile. 

 

Recently moved into my bro-in-laws basement, due to the fact that the condo I was renting was being sold and I didn't really have any options.

 

Couple weeks ago I started having this pain in my right foot and was having to limp around. Tried my best to stay off of it and thought it was getting better, but it's got to the point where I can put any weight on it and I'm using crutches.

 

Everyone had been bugging me to see a doctor, but typical me, I figured I'll be fine.

 

But I'm not. I've been drinking heavily(I have to have that delivered) and haven't been outside in over a week.

 

So, even the pretty boring lifestyle I'd been living feels so far away right now. 

 

Luckily I have a few people who have been helpful and tomorrow I'm finally going to have my foot looked at.

 

Bit nervous, as I really haven't lived a healthy life and haven't seen a doctor in quite some time, but I need to get this looked at.

 

Also, have a close family member, who I used to see every day that's going through some health issues that dwarf mine by a landslide.

 

Anyway...we shall see what tomorrow brings.

[Thefox81]

4 hours ago, spacemunky said:

I think it's good to see this thread drop a little. Of course, that doesn't mean all is well with everyone.

 

Been struggling myself for awhile. 

 

Recently moved into my bro-in-laws basement, due to the fact that the condo I was renting was being sold and I didn't really have any options.

 

Couple weeks ago I started having this pain in my right foot and was having to limp around. Tried my best to stay off of it and thought it was getting better, but it's got to the point where I can put any weight on it and I'm using crutches.

 

Everyone had been bugging me to see a doctor, but typical me, I figured I'll be fine.

 

But I'm not. I've been drinking heavily(I have to have that delivered) and haven't been outside in over a week.

 

So, even the pretty boring lifestyle I'd been living feels so far away right now. 

 

Luckily I have a few people who have been helpful and tomorrow I'm finally going to have my foot looked at.

 

Bit nervous, as I really haven't lived a healthy life and haven't seen a doctor in quite some time, but I need to get this looked at.

 

Also, have a close family member, who I used to see every day that's going through some health issues that dwarf mine by a landslide.

 

Anyway...we shall see what tomorrow brings.

Good luck mate. Making the first step by going to the doctors is massive. Use that as a starting point and build from there in your own time.

[Trav Le Bleu]

6 hours ago, spacemunky said:

I think it's good to see this thread drop a little. Of course, that doesn't mean all is well with everyone.

 

Been struggling myself for awhile. 

 

Recently moved into my bro-in-laws basement, due to the fact that the condo I was renting was being sold and I didn't really have any options.

 

Couple weeks ago I started having this pain in my right foot and was having to limp around. Tried my best to stay off of it and thought it was getting better, but it's got to the point where I can put any weight on it and I'm using crutches.

 

Everyone had been bugging me to see a doctor, but typical me, I figured I'll be fine.

 

But I'm not. I've been drinking heavily(I have to have that delivered) and haven't been outside in over a week.

 

So, even the pretty boring lifestyle I'd been living feels so far away right now. 

 

Luckily I have a few people who have been helpful and tomorrow I'm finally going to have my foot looked at.

 

Bit nervous, as I really haven't lived a healthy life and haven't seen a doctor in quite some time, but I need to get this looked at.

 

Also, have a close family member, who I used to see every day that's going through some health issues that dwarf mine by a landslide.

 

Anyway...we shall see what tomorrow brings.

How's healthcare in Canadia? Do you need to pay for it?

[spacemunky]

50 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

How's healthcare in Canadia? Do you need to pay for it?

It's all covered here.

 

But...dumb me let my health card expire. Somewhere between covid, me moving and just my own general stupidity, I hadn't realized.

 

I might have to pay for an xray or whatever, but hopefully after that I can get back on my feet and sort some stuff out.

[HighPeakFox]

On 31/07/2024 at 09:34, HighPeakFox said:

I've been in an emotional holding pattern for 2 years, and wasn't sure I would ever get to land my metaphorical plane. Happily, though, the woman I desire has radioed me to start my descent and (hopefully) make a safe landing. So (obvious sexual imagery aside) we get the chance to see if we can adjust from how we have had to be, to how we imagine we want to be.

 

I know it won't solve any existential issues I have, and I need to not rely on it to make me happy. However, I am the luckiest man alive - that she wants me as much as I want her, after 53 years of nothing remotely close to it, is mind blowing.

 

I have many friends on this thread, and I wanted to share this with you.

We didn't, but I'm OK.