Our system detected that your browser is blocking advertisements on our site. Please help support FoxesTalk by disabling any kind of ad blocker while browsing this site. Thank you.
Jump to content
 Share
Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

Recommended Posts

C-man

C-man

Posted
Posted

Hi, im Josef Fritzl, I dont play cod, I just shag my daughter in a cellar | Become a Fan

Hi, im Josef Fritzl, I dont play cod, I just shag my daughter in a cellar:

theres only one Josef Fritzl only one Josef Fritzl he probably shouldnt of oughta fooked his own daughter walking in a Fritzl wonderland

Hi, im Josef Fritzl, I dont play cod, I just shag my daughter in a cellar:

oops nearly got locked in the cellar just then

Hi, im Josef Fritzl, I dont play cod, I just shag my daughter in a cellar:

lock your daughters away, Big Daddys in town!

Hi, im Josef Fritzl, I dont play cod, I just shag my daughter in a cellar:

most famous Austrian here, stick your Hitler up your arse (sideways!)

lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AoWW

AoWW

Posted
Posted

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay seriously ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.

'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said, as he surveyed the worried faces.

'The only hope left for your loved one is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the operation, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.'

The family members sat in silence as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, 'Well, how much does a brain cost?'

The doctor quickly responded, '£5000 for a male brain, and £200 for a female brain.'

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

One man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, 'Why is the male brain so much more?'

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, 'It's just standard pricing policy. We have to mark down the price of the female brains because they've actually been used.'

:whistle:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Houdini Logic

Houdini Logic

Posted
Posted
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay seriously ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.

'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said, as he surveyed the worried faces.

'The only hope left for your loved one is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the operation, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.'

The family members sat in silence as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, 'Well, how much does a brain cost?'

The doctor quickly responded, '£5000 for a male brain, and £200 for a female brain.'

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

One man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, 'Why is the male brain so much more?'

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, 'It's just standard pricing policy. We have to mark down the price of the female brains because they've actually been used.'

:whistle:

Get out

Link to comment
Share on other sites
geordie_fox

geordie_fox

Posted
Posted

I've got a Valentines poem that has never yet failed to get me in a girls knickers:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I've got a knife

Now get in the fooking van

................................................................................

........................................

Just booked a table for me and the missus for Valentines day. Hope it goes better than last year, she only potted 2 balls!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Uncle Albert

Uncle Albert

Posted
Posted
I've got a Valentines poem that has never yet failed to get me in a girls knickers:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I've got a knife

Now get in the fooking van

................................................................................

........................................

Just booked a table for me and the missus for Valentines day. Hope it goes better than last year, she only potted 2 balls!

Oh dear.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Suffolk_fox

Suffolk_fox

Posted
Posted

A Girl's Night Out

Two women go out one Friday night without their husbands. As they head back home in the early hours of the morning, they felt the urge to pee.

They noticed that the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and very drunk, they decided to go there anyway.

The first one did not have anything to clean herself with, so she took off her knickers and used them to dry herself, then discarded them.

The second one not having anything either thought, "I'm not getting rid of my knickers", so she used a ribbon from a wreath that she found.

The morning after, the two husbands were talking on the phone and one says to the other, "It seems that our wives were up to no good last night. My wife came home without any panties!"

The other one responded, "You're lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her arse that read:- We will never forget you!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Bert

Bert

Posted
Posted

A man is licking out a prostitute when suddenly, he gets a bit of carrot in his mouth. He spits it out and carries on, but then he gets a pea in his mouth. He spits it out and asks "You've got bits of veg in your fanny, are you sick or something?"

"Nah", says the Hooker, "but the last guy was."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Bilo

Bilo

Posted
Posted
A man is licking out a prostitute when suddenly, he gets a bit of carrot in his mouth. He spits it out and carries on, but then he gets a pea in his mouth. He spits it out and asks "You've got bits of veg in your fanny, are you sick or something?"

"Nah", says the Hooker, "but the last guy was."

Just about the most disgusting thing I've read this year. Superb work.

I just bought an Alexander McQueen shirt

Its a bit tight around the neck but it hangs well.

lol

I've been waiting for these.

Anyway, a couple I've heard.

I was pleased to see Lady Gaga pick up three Brit awards on Wednesday. Best Female, Best Male and Best of Breed.

What's small, fashionable and starting to get hungry?

Alexander McQueen's cat.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Wycombe Fox

Wycombe Fox

Posted
Posted

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays soundness of mind.'

'The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

How soon can I go home?'

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Bugg

Bugg

Posted
Posted
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays soundness of mind.'

'The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

How soon can I go home?'

:crylaugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...