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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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rico

rico

Posted
Posted

all england games will be moved to the gay channel next week as the sight ogf 11 arseholes being hammered repeatedly for 90 minutes will be too explicit for the bbc !:crylaugh:

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samjohnson

samjohnson

Posted
Posted

Freddie Mercury gets called to God...

"I always liked you and your music, i want to give you a second life. What do you want to do?" asks God.

"England's Goalkeeper," Freddie replys. "Ill have 10 arseholes infront of me, 50 million pricks behind me and I won't catch a thing"

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davieG

davieG

Posted
Posted

Apparantly the angry supporter who got into the changing room was punched by three England players.

lt was a clear case of the shit hitting the fan.

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Bilo

Bilo

Posted
Posted

To all those women who watch the football and shout "pass it to Frank" or "bring Joe Cole on"; fuck off. You didn't see me at Sex And The City 2 shouting "fuck her up the arse".

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Smudge

Smudge

Posted
Posted (edited)

Guy comes out of prison after serving twenty years inside.

When he gets home he looks in the wardrobe and finds all his old clothes. He thinks "I wonder if they still fit after all these years?".

He puts on one of his jackets and sure enough it fits very well.

He's looking at himself in the mirror and absentmindedly puts his hand into one of the pockets and fishes out a piece of paper. It turns out to the a claim ticket for a local shoe repairers.

He remembered the shop, which was close by, and out of curiosity decided to see if it was still there. Sure enough there it was, so he went inside.

The owner greeted him and the man gave the ticket to the repairer and said "I don't suppose you still have these shoes after all this time?"

"Well lets see" said the repairer.

He moved an old ladder and climbed up to a shelf very close to the ceiling,

Almost immediately he found the shoes, blew the dust off the label and shouted down to the man, "Black brogues size 9 that need healing?"

"Yeah they're the ones" replied the man in amazement."

"They'll be ready next Thursday!" said the repairer.

Edited by Smudge
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cambridgefox

cambridgefox

Posted
Posted

A man walks into the doctors.His arse bleeding and ripped to shreds.The doctor takes one look and says "how the hell did that happen" The man replies"i was raped by an elephant" The doctor says"im not calling you a liar,but elephants cocks are long and thin,and would not cause that damage" The man snaps"the bastard fingered me first though"

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