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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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davieG

davieG

Posted
Posted

<embed width="600" height="361" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullscreen="true" allowNetworking="all" wmode="transparent" src="http://static.photobucket.com/player.swf" flashvars="file=http%3A%2F%2Fvid21.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb251%2F_James_Skinner%2FBESTGLASSESCOMMERCIALEVER.mp4">

crylaugh.gif

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The Doctor

The Doctor

Posted
Posted

two blokes (we'll call the steve and peter) are walking through a fete one day and come across a dartboard challenge.

Peter says to steve " I bet you £50 you can't get 180 with 3 darts". Steve agrees, his first dart hits a treble 20 but the second is only a single 20.

"Aah, you'll never get 180 now, that's 50 quid you owe me", Steve throws his last dart which then bounces off the wire frame and hits a nun in the eye. As the nun drops to the ground steve says "Not so fast, thats One-nun-dead and 80, You owe me £50"

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Wycombe Fox

Wycombe Fox

Posted
Posted

Paddy stumbles across a mass baptism at a river. He walks into the river and stands next to the preacher.

"Are you ready to find Jesus my son?"

Paddy says "I am sir". The preacher puts him under the water then says "Have you found Jesus ?"

"No sir" replies Paddy.

He puts him under for longer.

"Have you found Jesus?"

"No sir"

He puts him under for two minutes "Have you found Jesus?"

Paddy says "Are you fecking sure this is where he fell in?".

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mikey54

mikey54

Posted
Posted

Latest rumours are linking Wayne Rooney in a threesome with a mother and daughter.

Rooney, it is reported, picked up a 48 year old in a bar. She asked him if he fancied a mother & daughter 'session'

'F**king great' he replied

So she took him back to her place, opened the door to her house and shouted 'Put yer' teeth in ma', we got company'

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MPH

MPH

Posted
Posted (edited)

Girl - "I'll give you a chilean miner",

Boy - "What?!?!?"

Girl "I'll go down the shaft and stay till christmas."

Gary glitter has offered to help with the rescue effort in chile... he's heard there are 33 minors trapped underground ...

Edited by MPH
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