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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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cambridgefox

cambridgefox

Posted
Posted

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She told me that I have to stop wanking.

I asked, "Why?"

She replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

How odd,i to went to the doctors for my anal....annual check-up.she told me i had to stop wanking and smoking.

The problem is im a 20 a day man.......and i smoke like a chimney!!

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Webbo

Webbo

Posted
Posted

What do you get if you cross a rotweiller with a labrador?

A dog that shits all over you then runs off with the toilet roll

Sorry that was curtessy of a birthday card.

I did notice your birthday. Are you really only 26? I thought you were about my age.

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Bilo

Bilo

Posted
Posted

I've just received a text from my girlfriend that reads:

"Hello birthday boy. When you get home from work, there'll be a hot bath waiting for you. When you've finished, come into the bedroom and I'll suck you dry ;)"

Fuck that, it'll take ages. I'll just use a towel.

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Wycombe Fox

Wycombe Fox

Posted
Posted (edited)

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and is stumbling back and forth.

A cop on the beat sees him and approaches.

"Can I help you sir?"

"Yessh! Sssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.

The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It wasss on the end of thisshh key", the man replies.

About that time the cop looks down and sees the mans penis hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.

He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out....

"Holy shit!.My girlfriends gone too!".

Edited by Isle of Wight Fox
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Bilo

Bilo

Posted
Posted

The diary of Hermione Granger age 14

Wednesday : 10:30pm

Can't sleep & very bored.

All I have to keep myself occupied is this magic wand thing with its stupid bloody vibrating tip and.............. hold on a second !!

Thursday

Busy

Friday

Busy

Saturday

Busy

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