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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Alexikokopops

Alexikokopops

Posted
Posted

Some mates went to a popular nightclub one evening. There was a Chinese fella, a Cambodian, a Vietnamese, a Malaysian, a Singaporean, an Indian, a Pakistani, an Indonesian, a Burmese and a Philippino.

The bouncer asked "Are you all together in a group?"

"Yes," smiled the Philippino "we represent South-East Asia."

The bouncer replied, " Sorry mate, but I cant let you in without a Thai."

:ph34r:

Poor old Laos :(

Stephen Hawking went on his first date in 10 years, and when he got back , his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees,

Apparently she'd stood him up.

I know I shouldn't, but lol

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ajthefox

ajthefox

Posted
Posted (edited)

Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who couldn't have sex?

They kept trying to do 96. :ph34r:

:unsure: Dyscalculia?

Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who couldn't have sex?

They kept trying to do the ninety six

better :dunno:

Edited by ajthefox
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StanSP

StanSP

Posted
Posted

Wouldn't it be ironic if Antonio Valencia played for Valencia, David Villa played for Aston Villa, and Stefan Kuntz played for Nottingham Forest?

A different variation I saw...(Matt will love it :giggle: )

Wouldn't it be ironic if Antonio Valencia played for Valencia, David Villa played for Aston Villa, and Danny Shittu played for Arsenal?

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CityMad

CityMad

Posted
Posted

Two mexicans are stuck in the desert starving.

In the distance they see a tree.

As they get nearer,they see it is draped with rashers of juicy bacon.

"hey look,Pedro"says Juan

"Ees a bacon tree! Were saved"

Juan runs to the tree but before he gets their he is suddenly gunned down in a hail of bullets.

With his dyeing breath he shouts back "Run Pedro! Ees no a bacon tree! Ees a ham bush

ill grab me coat

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ajthefox

ajthefox

Posted
Posted

Two mexicans are stuck in the desert starving.

In the distance they see a tree.

As they get nearer,they see it is draped with rashers of juicy bacon.

"hey look,Pedro"says Juan

"Ees a bacon tree! Were saved"

Juan runs to the tree but before he gets their he is suddenly gunned down in a hail of bullets.

With his dyeing breath he shouts back "Run Pedro! Ees no a bacon tree! Ees a ham bush

ill grab me coat

I don't know if I made myself laugh with the mexican accent I put on whilst reading this or not but I found that funny! lol

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m00nie

m00nie

Posted
Posted (edited)

UEFA have expressed concern regards the wembley pitch for the Champions League final.

But the FA have assured them that it will be fine, as they are putting a load of shit on it this Saturday !

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well it turns out the new Dyson Ball cleaner isn't what I thought it was :blush:

Edited by m00nie
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stix

stix

Posted
Posted

Paddy and Murphy are invited to a party where the theme is to come as an emotion. Red for love, green for envy etc.Paddy turns up with his cock inside a pear and Murphy comes with his dropped in a bowl of custard.The shocked guests asked 'What have you come as?!'To which Paddy replied 'Well I'm deep in despair and Murphy's ****ing disgusted'

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