The joke thread

[LCFC_FAN_1995]

Liverpool have finally took home a trophy after 6 years, The Carling cup.

Bit like being single for 6 years and bringing home Susan Boyle.

[Captain...]

Liverpool have finally took home a trophy after 6 years, The Carling cup.

Bit like being single for 6 years and bringing home Susan Boyle.

You do realise you are comparing one of the happiest days of my (and probably many others on here) life with pulling Susan Boyle.

[LCFC_FAN_1995]

You do realise you are comparing one of the happiest days of my (and probably many others on here) life with pulling Susan Boyle.

[Webbo]

If Liverpool winning the League cup is anyone's happiest day of their life, then a night in bed with Susan Boyle might do them a bit of good.

Edited 27 February 2012 by Webbo

[davieG]

If Liverpool winning the League cup is anyone's happiest day of their life, then a night in bed with Susan Boyle might do them a bit of good.

I believe he was on about our LC wins which must inevitably also be compared with a night in bed with susan boyle.

[Rincewind]

Its a trophy. Rather us than Mickey Mouse winning it.

[Wherethefoxhat?]

I bought a packet of those new Mystery Flavoured Walkers Crisps in my local last night.

Hmmm.....they taste just like my ex-wifes pussy i thought ........but then i said to myself "No it's just my imagination !"

But then nearly everyone in the pub agreed !

[Tielemans63]

Which rapper is most popular among muslims?

Halal Cool J    

[HEGGSY]

I bought a packet of those new Mystery Flavoured Walkers Crisps in my local last night.

Hmmm.....they taste just like my ex-wifes pussy i thought ........but then i said to myself "No it's just my imagination !"

But then nearly everyone in the pub agreed !

[UpTheLeagueFox]

Everybody remembers where they were when they heard that JFK had been assassinated.

I was in a history lesson.

More daft stuff every week at

www.randomsillynonsense.com

[Tielemans63]

My wife was stood at the front door with her case and said "I'm leaving you because of your strange sexual requests"

I replied "That's fine, but could you slam my cock in the door as you leave?"

Edited 29 February 2012 by Paddy Akinbiyi

[Filbert_Ross]

I didnt believe the Monkee's singer had died....

Then i saw his face, now im a bereaver.

[Hawkers]

As my wife was walking out the door, she turned to me and said

"And worst of all, I hate it when you put words in my mouth and I'm a stupid bitch."

[ScouseFox]

Luiz Suarez was saddened when he heard one of The Monkees had died.

"Which one was it?" he asked, "Ferdinand or Evra?"

[FuriousFox46]

[Basildon Fox]

Luiz Suarez was saddened when he heard one of The Monkees had died.

"Which one was it?" he asked, "Ferdinand or Evra?"

[Captain...]

Luiz Suarez was saddened when he heard one of The Monkees had died.

"Which one was it?" he asked, "Ferdinand or Evra?"

...but it made laugh.

[Wherethefoxhat?]

RIP Davy Jones .

Back in the locker for you !!!

[yorkie1999]

The muslim council of Great Britian has decided to hold its first gay festival this year.

Ramaman will start in april.

[Wherethefoxhat?]

My g/friends just texted me to find out where i was.

I explained to her that i was attending my Anger Management Course.

"How's it all going ?" she asked

"Not good.....i replied....I'll fill you in later "

[Narborough_fox]

Velcro sanitary towels are a bloody rip off.

[Finnegan]

[Wherethefoxhat?]

Paddy comes staggering out of the zoo mangled and bloodied.

Mick asks him what the hell happend.

"Bollox to that says Paddy ......that's the last time i go lion dancing !"

[jonthefox]

Jordan is in talks over al-quatada.

Jesus, is there anyone that woman wont sleep with.

[RonnieTodger]

Mr Tickle wanted to merry his girlfriend Tess, but she refused to adopt his surname.