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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Jimmy

Jimmy

Posted
Posted

Absolutely right, there are few if any bounderies in a soldier's sense of humour. It helps them manage the very real shit they they often have deal with.

yup basically unless it killed someone its fair game, as it should be

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StanSP

StanSP

Posted
Posted

Absolutely right, there are few if any bounderies in a soldier's sense of humour. It helps them manage the very real shit they they often have deal with.

Totally agree. Spoke to some of the Paralympians at the Rowing and they'd make jokes and be humorous about not having an arm or a leg or both.

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m00nie

m00nie

Posted
Posted

paralympics

only a few days in and the shit has already started

a member of the british wheelchair basketball team has tested positive for WD40

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't think many of them are that patriotic tbh, seen quite a few that didn't stand for the National anthem.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Captain...

Captain...

Posted
Posted

I took my new girl out on our ninth date last night. We went to the cinema to see The Dark Knight Rises.

So far our dating history goes:

dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner,

dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner,

Batman!

Brilliant, I'm sure it is an oldie, but I wasn't expecting it and nearly spat my tea over my laptop.

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The Doctor

The Doctor

Posted
Posted

There were two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge. One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because when you were a baby, a petal fell on you." And then Fridge says "bllaaarrarararraraaarg".

How do you get 100 Liverpool fans in a mini?

Get the Police to open the door.

:ph34r::o

Both so very wrong, yet rather funny.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Zingari

Zingari

Posted
Posted (edited)

Yesterday I was at my local Tesco`s store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog..

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before Iwoke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orificesand IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

Edited by Zingari
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