The joke thread

[Bob Weasel Fox]

its great having a dyslexic secetary

she has just given me a blow job

i only sent her an email asking her if she could sack my cook

[jonthefox]

If a 30 yr old maths teacher takes a 15 yr old pupil 120 miles to France at an average speed of 40mph, how many years will he get in prison?

[Jimmy]

If a 30 yr old maths teacher takes a 15 yr old pupil 120 miles to France at an average speed of 40mph, how many years will he get in prison?

with a good lawyer, not many if at all

[marbelladave]

with a good lawyer, not many if at all

sadly that is actually pretty funny.......

[Jimmy]

sadly that is actually pretty funny.......

its not right but its how it is, doesn't hurt his case that 15 years olds now are so much more mature then they were 20 years ago and providing they didn't have/admit to having sex here the abduction charge is all they have on him

[glenny_fox]

This JOKE thread has taken a turn for the worse...

[Jimmy]

same as every other thread then

[Tielemans63]

My wife told me she's loving me because I don't listen to her properly.

[Saxondale]

Before our marriage, me and my wife signed an agreement saying that if she can make me laugh, she's entitled to everything during a divorce.

I think I'm safe though, I'm married to Gina Yashere.

[Tielemans63]

No "Jim'll Finger It" jokes? Shame.

[Wortho]

Jim'll fist it

[Wycombe Fox]

At school today my son was told masturbation is healthy. Now he wants to know if he can have a w*nk instead of vegetables

[The Year Of The Fox]

Leicester City

[Guest Col city fan]

The 'Jimmy Saville' track suit has just been released.

You get an adult sized top but you have to squeeze into children's bottoms..

Edited 4 October 2012 by Col city fan

[Parafox]

Strange, when I was at school 30 into 15 didn't go.

It does if you've only got half of one.

[Reynard Bleu]

The 'Jimmy Saville' track suit has just been released.

You get an adult sized top but you have to squeeze into children's bottoms..

I know I shouldnt. but

[Hollism]

BREAKING: Ryan Shawcross has been called up to the England squad.

He is set to feature in England vs New Zealand at Twickenham next month.

[Tinman]

The police have got hold of Jimmy Savilles diary, the last entry was 10 years old.

[jonthefox]

The BBC News channel just displayed images of the three women who claimed that Jimmy Savile interfered with them sexually. They showed a current picture of each of the women and a picture taken of each of them from the 1970s.

The caption read: Now, then. Now, then. Now, then.

[rico]

i'm not sure who invented the halal meat slicer,but i'm sure Abu Hamza had a hand in it

[Tielemans63]

Newcastle United are reported to have struck an £8m shirt sponsorship deal with Wonga.

However, they will have to pay back £20m a month later.    

[Orkneyfox]

A friend of mine has changed his name to 'Quasimodo' and is going to enter next years X-Factor.

I think he could win.

He might not have a very good singing voice, but he's got a great back story.

[Zingari]

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then.

God, I love my new taser!

[Guest MattP]

Another Asian in Rochdale has been arrested today for allegedly grooming young girls.

Jamal Fixit.

[Uncle Phil]

While walking to the shop this morning I heard the sound of an approaching horse moving at quite some speed. As I turned to look, a knight in full armor shot past, galloped up a big ramp and jumped clean over four buses waiting in the bus lane before landing in a shower of sparks. He then disappeared up the street without missing a beat. I thought who on earth could possibly do something like that? Then I realised it must have been med-Evel Knievel.