The joke thread

[Captain...]

Eh? Is that one of these new age jokes, that's not a joke?

I think it is just a normal joke in that the parrot can't actually talk, just repeat words back to us, and so obviously can't identify a burglar or request the police, but it is not really a classic.

I know what you mean by a "new age" joke, like:

"My mother in law is so fat she just sits around the house all day feeling sorry for herself and comfort eating which is just exacerbating the problem, we have tried sending her to therapy but nothing seems to work, it is starting to be a concern to both me and my wife as the health implications with her age means she could well die soon."

I think the Parrot one is just a bad joke poorly told.

[Guest]

maybe the thief was stealing underwear.

[spittingfeathers]

My son looked upset today so i asked him what was wrong .He sat down on the sofa beside me and said....

"Can i talk to you about having sex with my girlfriend ?"

"Of course you can " i replied .

He said "Well...could you stop doing it please !"

[foz.foz]

My boss phoned me today. He said, "Is everything okay at the office?"

I said, "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped."

"Can you do me a favor?" he asked.

I said, "Of course, what is it?"

"Pick up the pace a little. I'm in the foursome behind you."

[spittingfeathers]

My son walked in on me & the wife last night.....

"What are those two dangly things between your legs ?" he asked

"Those son", i replied "are your mothers tits !"

[Bayfox]

maybe the thief was stealing underwear.

Are you being serious??

Maybe he had a pair of tights on his head!!!!!

[Guest]

Are you being serious??

Maybe he had a pair of tights on his head!!!!!

If that was the case wouldn't the joke have alluded to him being in a tight spot?

[Bayfox]

If that was the case wouldn't the joke have alluded to him being in a tight spot?

Forgive me for sounding gay, but don't parrots say pretty polly and aren't they a make of tights?Hence what was he wearing? Pretty Polly.Maybe it's just me.

[Tielemans63]

A horse walks into a bar.

"Too late," says the bartender, "we're joking about the pope now."

"He's right," sighs Richard III

[The Blur]

I thought the parrot joke was about a cross-dressing burglar?

Edited 13 February 2013 by ChickenBoy

[Guest]

Forgive me for sounding gay, but don't parrots say pretty polly and aren't they a make of tights?Hence what was he wearing? Pretty Polly.Maybe it's just me.

Good knowledge

[Guest]

I thought the parrot joke was about a cross-dressing burglar?

because they didn't have pretty polly tights?

[whitlock]

There is one thing that we are completely certain of today, and that is that Oscar Pistorious was in possession of arms.

[ithuriel]

parrot jokes are dead

[fleckneymike]

I don't think Oscar pistorius' girlfriend had this in mind when she told him that he could shoot his load in her face on Valentine's day!

[GLC]

Oscar Pistorius's favourite band is Bullet for my Valentine................

[kristianity77]

Roses are red,

Violets are glorious,

Don't try to surprise

Oscar Pistorious.

[fleckneymike]

Police reckon he hasn't got a leg to stand on

[Wycombe Fox]

I had a decent horseburger joke to post this morning but the Pistorius story has p*ssed on that one.

[Wycombe Fox]

Deleted bad joke about Pistorius - sorry.

Edited 14 February 2013 by Isle of Wight Fox

[General Smuts]

Roses are red,

Violets are glorious,

Don't try to surprise

Oscar Pistorious.

Roses are red,

Violets are glorious

Never sneak up

On Oscar Pistorious

[Wycombe Fox]

Roses are red

Violets are red

Everything's red

PUT THE GUN DOWN OSCAR

[General Smuts]

Roses are red

Violets are red

Everything's red

PUT THE GUN DOWN OSCAR

Roses are red

Violets are red

Everything's red

Because I'm Cyclops from X-Men

[glenny_fox]

Oscar pesterious... Proof that even people with no legs have a better shot than fernando Torres .

[whitlock]

There is now overwhelming evidence that has come to light that will help Pistorious get acquitted from the murder charge.

Footsteps