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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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yorkie1999

yorkie1999

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Two Guys are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground.

They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.

The first Guy says, "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."

The second Guy says," I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."

The first Guy says, "There's this old truck gearbox here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".

So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.

They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the bushes behind them.

As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the bushes, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.

While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.

"Say there," says the farmer, "you fellas didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"

The first Guy says, " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hundred miles an hour and jumped head first into this hole here!"

The old farmer said, "That's impossible.. I had him chained to a gearbox"

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foxfanazer

foxfanazer

Posted
Posted

Two Guys are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground.

They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.

The first Guy says, "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."

The second Guy says," I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."

The first Guy says, "There's this old truck gearbox here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".

So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.

They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the bushes behind them.

As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the bushes, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.

While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.

"Say there," says the farmer, "you fellas didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"

The first Guy says, " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hundred miles an hour and jumped head first into this hole here!"

The old farmer said, "That's impossible.. I had him chained to a gearbox"

lol
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  • 2 weeks later...
Bilo

Bilo

Posted
Posted

Just got a call from my wife who was running in the Boston Marathon. She said they had a blast and she can't feel her legs.

Glad to hear she's having a good day.

Wow, that epitomises too soon......

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shasse

shasse

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Nymphomaniac Convention

A man boarded an aircraft at London 's Heathrow Airport for New York , and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and, Bingo! - she took the seat right beside him.

"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual Nymphomaniac convention in the United States ."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded,†I use my experience to disprove some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.

We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"

"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."

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Guest

Guest

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Wow, that epitomises too soon......

depending on the type of humour there can never be too soon.

This joke won't be that good this time next year.

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yorkie1999

yorkie1999

Posted
Posted

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved rugby all our lives, and we played rugby on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's rugby there."

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mike, you've been my best friend for many years.. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.

Shortly after that, Joe passes on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Mike--Mike.."

"Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Mike--it's me, Joe."

"You're not Joe. Joe just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."

"Joe! Where are you?"

"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," says Mike.

"The good news," Joe says," is that there's rugby in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play rugby all we want, and we never get tired."

That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?

"You're in the team for this Saturday."

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