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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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  • 2 weeks later...
Bob Weasel Fox

Bob Weasel Fox

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Posted (edited)

If you watch a Porn movie backwards, it's about 1 or 2 helpful guys hoovering the face of a lady with a heavy cold !! :-o

The police pulled me over today, after a tip-off I was hauling counterfeit goods.

They found nothing, so sent me on my way in my Freddie Stobart lorry.

Edited by Bob Weasel Fox
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Bilo

Bilo

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My mate said he's looking forward to seeing Leicester play at Old Trafford next season.

I thought, what a pessimistic ****, his team are clear in the Championship and he still doesn't think they'll get promotion.

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Smudge

Smudge

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A man wakes up one morning in Wisconsin  to find a bear on his roof.
He looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."
He calls the number and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in  the cage in the back of the van."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog......"

Edited by Smudge
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