The joke thread

[ramboacdc]

What's black, plastic and found in the bread bin?

Terry Pratchett's tv remote.

I feel bad I laughed as hard as I did

[Tielemans63]

How can you tell if someone is ticklish?

Give them a testicle...

[DennisNedry]

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

 

None.

[separator]

I met Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day. He's head of quality control at Walkers.

[Mike Oxlong]

"I love you loads, honeypie." My wife said earlier.

"And I love you tons." I replied.

"What, no nickname for me?" She asked, disappointed.

Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf.

[Mike Oxlong]

My wife said to me, "Fancy having a lot of sex in the shower?"

I said, "Yeah, I'd love to."

She said, "Good, because the police are at the door and they want to talk to you about a rape."

[Trav Le Bleu]

I know that Eastern Europeans are supposed to be hard workers, but some of them are rubbish cleaners.

 

Especially those Slovacs.

[bovril]

I know that Eastern Europeans are supposed to be hard workers, but some of them are rubbish cleaners.

 

Especially those Slovacs.

 

Your punchlines could do with more polish.

[Facecloth]

Your punchlines could do with more polish.

He should have Moldova it a bit longer IMO.

[Buce]

He should have Moldova it a bit longer IMO.

A good pun....

.....but you should czech your grammar.

[separator]

Your punchlines could do with more polish.

always like to Czech out the joke thread

Edit : beaten to the Czech joke

Edited 23 March 2015 by separator

[Trav Le Bleu]

A good pun....

.....but you should czech your grammar.

 

Pffft, I've already been threatened by one of the mods, he said, albania.

Edited 23 March 2015 by Trav Le Bleu

[Stadt]

kosovo

[Trav Le Bleu]

I was wondering if anyone here has every watched a Blue movie?

 

 

 

Because personally, I'm not that keen on their music, so why would I watch a film with them in?

[bovril]

Pffft, I've already been threatened by one of the mods, he said, albania.

 

They can be quite Tirana-cal.

[separator]

They can be quite Tirana-cal.

I'm sure they wouldn't mind Trav tallinn a joke or two.

[Trav Le Bleu]

I'm sure they wouldn't mind Trav tallinn a joke or two.

 

Maybe I should tell my jokes with more Riga?

[Webbo]

Any more of these Eastern European town puns and I'm going to Split.

[bovril]

Webbo's just cranky after meeting an annoying Indian monk in town. He was a Buddha-pest.

[Webbo]

Webbo's just cranky after meeting an annoying Indian monk in town. He was a Buddha-pest.

You're right, I'm going to go on Thomas cook's website to Bucharest 

Edited 23 March 2015 by Webbo

[Trav Le Bleu]

Any more of these Eastern European town puns and I'm going to Split.

 

Hadjuk nuff?

[Buce]

Pffft, I've already been threatened by one of the mods, he said, albania.

Well, it would serbia right..

[Rincewind]

A woman is lying in bed waiting for her fella to come home and she hears a voice

 

'Izz you ready Liza?' and through the gap in the door appears the tip of a penis.

'I izz ready' Joshua' she replies.

Again a voice calls 'Izz you ready Liza?' and three inches appears.

Liza answers again 'I  am ready and waiting Joshua

Another call  and six more inches appears.

Liza answers with an excited tremour in her voice 'I -I  sur-re am ready darling

Another 3 inches appears and Liza shouts 'Now stop a-fooling about Joshua and get right on in here'

Joshua replies 'OK sweetheart I'm a-coming up the stairs now.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'll get my coat

Edited 27 March 2015 by Rincewind

[Parafox]

kosovo

 

Kosov me?

[Parafox]

A woman is lying in bed waiting for her fella to come home and she hears a voice

 

'Izz you ready Liza?' and through the gap in the door appears the tip of a penis.

'I izz ready' Joshua' she replies.

Again a voice calls 'Izz you ready Liza?' and three inches appears.

Liza answers again 'I  am ready and waiting Joshua

Another call  and six more inches appears.

Liza answers with an excited tremour in her voice 'I -I  sur-re am ready darling

Another 3 inches appears and Liza shouts 'Now stop a-fooling about Joshua and get right on in here'

Joshua replies 'OK sweetheart I'm a-coming up the stairs now.'

 

 

Is this one of those things we can't say about race but is true?