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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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fatmando

fatmando

Posted
Posted

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?” She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

 

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?” “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Irish. Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”

 

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy".

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Mike Oxlong

Mike Oxlong

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Had a massive argument with the missus last night after which she stormed out of the house.

Half an hour later I get a text.

"Gotaproblemwithmyphone.Thespacekeyisntworking.AnywayImfedupofthesecontinuingarguments.YouregoingtohavetomoveoutotherwisewhenIgethomeyouregoingtohavetogivemeanalternative.

I've made my decision. I'm not moving out. But wtf does ternative mean?

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Nick

Nick

Posted
Posted

Had a massive argument with the missus last night after which she stormed out of the house.

Half an hour later I get a text.

"Gotaproblemwithmyphone.Thespacekeyisntworking.AnywayImfedupofthesecontinuingarguments.YouregoingtohavetomoveoutotherwisewhenIgethomeyouregoingtohavetogivemeanalternative.

I've made my decision. I'm not moving out. But wtf does ternative mean?

lol brilliant

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Parafox

Parafox

Posted
Posted

A man goes to a fancy dress party in nothing but a glass jar over his c**k. "Im a fireman, he said ............. in an emergency, break glass, pull knob& i'll cum as fast as i can!"

 

Really?

 

You seem to have the wrong thread. This is for jokes... you know..  things that actually make you laugh.

 

I'm guessing you're about 14 :blush:

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lianne81

lianne81

Posted
Posted

Really?

 

You seem to have the wrong thread. This is for jokes... you know..  things that actually make you laugh.

 

I'm guessing you're about 14 :blush:

Have you read some the jokes on here ? this made me and others i know laugh , just cause it didn't make you laugh we can put what we like on here and add 20 years to that love 

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

A man goes to a fancy dress party in nothing but a glass jar over his c**k. "Im a fireman, he said ............. in an emergency, break glass, pull knob& i'll cum as fast as i can!"

  

Really?

 

You seem to have the wrong thread. This is for jokes... you know..  things that actually make you laugh.

 

I'm guessing you're about 14 :blush:

  

Have you read some the jokes on here ? this made me and others i know laugh , just cause it didn't make you laugh we can put what we like on here and add 20 years to that love

  

#Patronising

Shame. I thought the jokes thread was the only sanctuary left on FT that was free from piss take, abuse and trolling. A place where we could put aside our differences, preferences and bias and just have a laugh. Sadly I was mistaken....

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RobHawk

RobHawk

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Posted

Shame. I thought the jokes thread was the only sanctuary left on FT that was free from piss take, abuse and trolling. A place where we could put aside our differences, preferences and bias and just have a laugh. Sadly I was mistaken....

Pipe down hippy!

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Rincewind

Rincewind

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Posted (edited)

      

Shame. I thought the jokes thread was the only sanctuary left on FT that was free from piss take, abuse and trolling. A place where we could put aside our differences, preferences and bias and just have a laugh. Sadly I was mistaken....

Maybethe piss take and abuse were meant to be funny.

Edited by Rincewind
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