Our system detected that your browser is blocking advertisements on our site. Please help support FoxesTalk by disabling any kind of ad blocker while browsing this site. Thank you.
Jump to content
 Share
Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

Recommended Posts

fuchsntf

fuchsntf

Posted
Posted

Q: Whats black and brown, and looks good on a lawyer,

A Doberman pinscher.

*******

Yuppy n snobs joke..

A mate asks me to go camping on vacation...

Jesus this must be the dumbest holiday, I have ever heard of.

What..I'm gonna work all year, so I can go out and pretend I'm f#king homeless.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
DillonLive

DillonLive

Posted
Posted

A child asked his father, "How were people born?"

So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."

The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."

The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!"

His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."  lol  :D 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Wolfox

Wolfox

Posted
Posted

We can all dream....

__________________________

An aeroplane was about to crash; there were five passengers on board but only four parachutes.

The first passenger Holly Madison said, "I have my own reality show and I am the smartest and prettiest woman at Playboy, so Americans don't want me to die." She took the first parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The second passenger John McCain said, "I'm a senator and a decorated war hero from an elite navy unit in the United States of America." He grabbed the second pack and jumped.

The third passenger, Donald Trump, said, "I am going to be the next president of the United States, I am the smartest man in our country and I will make America great again." So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped out.

The fourth passenger, Billy Graham, said to the fifth passenger, a ten year old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life and served my God the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr Graham. There's a parachute left for you. The smartest man in America took my schoolbag."

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted

Just been on the news that they have run some trials on a new antibiotic and those trials indicate that for some reason its more effective for men,

 

 

 

Its called macoxaflopin

 

 

Didn't you see the "Breaking News" item at the end? The pharmaceuticals companies have now developed a product that is similarly effective for women.

 

 

It's called Mafanisaflapin

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
Parafox

Parafox

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted (edited)

My wife was having a bath the other evening when there was a knock on the front door.

 

i opened it to find a complete stranger standing there with a pained expression on his face.

 

"Please mate, can I use your toilet, I'm absolutely busting"?

 

Being a compassionate person and seeing his plight, I said: "Well, my wife's in the bath but if you're really desperate you can go in the kitchen sink".

 

"Really, are you sure"? he gasped.

 

"Yeah. I've done it before" I replied.

 

He dashed through to the kitchen and shut the door.

 

5 minutes later he poked his head round and said "Have you got any paper"?

Edited by Parafox
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
RobHawk

RobHawk

Posted
Posted

Just got back from a holiday in Thailand where I came VERY CLOSE to shagging a lady boy!!

 

She talked like a lady, walked like a lady, looked like a lady and kissed like a lady....

 

It was only when she drove me back to her place and reversed the car into the garage first time, that I thought to myself "Hang on a fvcking minute..."

 

 

"It's a boy!", I shouted, tears running down my face, "I can't believe it's a boy!".

That was the moment I vowed never to visit Thailand again.

 

I'm starting to wonder if these are jokes or memories? 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

I'm starting to wonder if these are jokes or memories? 

 

 

lol

I can't speak for Izzy, but I nicked mine off the net.

 

Mine is definitely not based on my own real life events  :ph34r:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted

Merseyside police today announced that drugs with a street value of £12 million, along with firearms and bomb making equipment, had been found in a house next to the library in Toxteth.

Local residents are said to be in a state of shock - they didn't know they had a library.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...