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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Parafox

Parafox

Posted
Posted

I knew someone who converted his house to a car and called it Austin Villa. It only went downhill..

 

I know that car. It has no engine, no wings and as for seats, well, there's only two at the back

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted

My mate bought a mansion with every facility you could wish for: 5 baths, jacuzzi, marble staircase, chandeliers, snooker room.

Then he covered everything in gold leaf - staircase, pool, chandeliers, the lot.

 

I asked him how he could justify such ostentatious extravagance.

 

He replied that he did have a bit of a gilt complex.

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KP Fox

KP Fox

Posted
Posted

George Michael was found slumped at the wheel of his Range Rover last night, naked and covered in chocolate. When questioned by police he said the incident had been caused by a careless Whispa.

Q. What's white and can be found over public toilet walls?

A. George Michael's latest release

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

Q. What's white and can be found over public toilet walls?

A. George Michael's latest release

Eeeewww...that's disgusting

Q. What's hit more balls than Ian Botham's bat?

A. George Michael's chin

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MPH

MPH

Posted
Posted

Cant believe it! Just saw arnold schwarzenegger standing at the clock Tower. He was eating a chocolate egg. So i said to him " i bet i know what your favourite holday is!"

 

 

 

He replied " you have ta love Easter, baby!"

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Trav Le Bleu

Trav Le Bleu

Posted
Posted (edited)

A policeman radios back to the station.

 

"I have a situation here. An old lady has just shot her husband for walking on the floor she just mopped."

 

"Have you arrested her?"

 

"No chance, the floor's still wet!"

Edited by Trav Le Bleu
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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

I have two tickets for the final of Euro 2016 but I didn't realise it will be on the same day as my wedding so I can't go...

 

If you are interested and want to go instead of me....it's at St Matthews church in Leicester and the girl is called Sarah

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davieG

davieG

Posted
Posted

I was in Asda earlier and the cashier asked the foreign couple in front of me if they wanted help packing their bags ..... I thought fvck me we only voted out yesterday give them a chance !!!

It was Morrisons where I heard exactly the same thing

 

 

http://www.foxestalk.co.uk/forums/topic/107358-eu-referendum-vote-today-23rd-june-from-7am-10pm-post-vote-discussion/?p=3938198

 

:D

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