Our system detected that your browser is blocking advertisements on our site. Please help support FoxesTalk by disabling any kind of ad blocker while browsing this site. Thank you.
Jump to content
 Share
Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

Recommended Posts

separator

separator

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Unbelievably, Mr. Singh escaped with nothing more than blurred vision when he hit his head on the floor.

 

As the female paramedic lent over him, he looked up and said: "You're once, twice, three times a lady".

Bet you spent 'All Night Long' come up with that pun Alf

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Countryfox

Countryfox

Posted
Posted
On 8/7/2016 at 21:50, Alf Bentley said:

 

Unbelievably, Mr. Singh escaped with nothing more than blurred vision when he hit his head on the floor.

 

As the female paramedic lent over him, he looked up and said: "You're once, twice, three times a lady".

 

I got held up by a sikh highwayman on the way home from work the other day ...   Dick Turban.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

Paddy says to Mick, "I'm getting circumcised tomorrow". Mick says, "I had that done when I was just a few days old". Paddy asks, "Did it hurt?". Mick says, "Well I couldn't walk for about a year".

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, srbfox said:

I was gonna tell the Mrs a cheesy joke today, but she isn't mature enough. 

 

Best to stick to feminist literature, then. Recite her something by Germaine Gruyère.

 

 

11 hours ago, Countryfox said:

 

I got held up by a sikh highwayman on the way home from work the other day ...   Dick Turban.

 

Are you sure he was a highwayman? He might have just been playing Hide and Sikh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nick

Nick

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Best to stick to feminist literature, then. Recite her something by Germaine Gruyère.

 

 

 

Are you sure he was a highwayman? He might have just been playing Hide and Sikh.

Alf, puns are not jokes.

 

Isn't there another thread for puns so people aren't mislead into thinking there's something funny in this thread?

 

:ph34r:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
30 minutes ago, Swan Lesta said:

Alf, puns are not jokes.

 

Isn't there another thread for puns so people aren't mislead into thinking there's something funny in this thread?

 

:ph34r:

 

There's something funny in this thread alright. It glides in with the elegance of a swan, charms with the beautiful song of a nightingale and departs leaving the aroma of a common skunk. :ph34r:

 

The threads in the rich tapestry of FT life are many and varied. Ever so humbly do I accept that my cheesy puns equate to no more than a dropped stitch in a distant corner of that tapestry.

Now one such stitch has come adrift to reveal your spot of rising damp behind it. :whistle:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nick

Nick

Posted
Posted
Just now, Alf Bentley said:

 

There's something funny in this thread alright. It glides in with the elegance of a swan, charms with the beautiful song of a nightingale and departs leaving the aroma of a common skunk. :ph34r:

 

The threads in the rich tapestry of FT life are many and varied. Ever so humbly do I accept that my cheesy puns equate to no more than a dropped stitch in a distant corner of that tapestry.

Now one such stitch has come adrift to reveal your spot of rising damp behind it. :whistle:

Agreed lol

 

I'm a pun nazi, sorry!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Swan Lesta said:

Agreed lol

 

I'm a pun nazi, sorry!

 

Perhaps we should move on from puns to collective nouns? It would surely be a punnet of pun nazis?

 

Time for me to vacate the joke thread before I seriously irritate someone, i think! :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nick

Nick

Posted
Posted
Just now, Alf Bentley said:

 

Perhaps we should move on from puns to collective nouns? It would surely be a punnet of pun nazis?

 

Time for me to vacate the joke thread before I seriously irritate someone, i think! :D

lol I still love you Alf despite your punspective......

Link to comment
Share on other sites
davieG

davieG

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, AKCJ said:

What's the difference between a circus and a brothel?

 

One has a cunning array of stunts.

It used to be a policeman's truncheon and a magicians wand.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Webbo said:

Crikey if I didn't post crap jokes I'd only have 4 posts.

 

I know a bloke who devotes almost all day every day to LCFC and who still only has 4 posts.....

 

The LCFC groundsman.

 

Well, you did mention crap jokes. :whistle:

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Webbo

Webbo

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

I know a bloke who devotes almost all day every day to LCFC and who still only has 4 posts.....

 

The LCFC groundsman.

 

Well, you did mention crap jokes. :whistle:

There's are depths even I won't sink to.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, separator said:

My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.

 

Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done.

 

That's funny. I had a go with her last night, too, and she couldn't make up her mind....was it a 3, a 6 or a 9?

She kept shouting "Nein! Drei Sechs....Nein!"

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

That's funny. I had a go with her last night, too, and she couldn't make up her mind....was it a 3, a 6 or a 9?

She kept shouting "Nein! Drei Sechs....Nein!"

You didn't use a lubricant?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...