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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Rincewind

Rincewind

Posted
Posted

A bloke goes into a gents in the pub and as he's standing doing the business a midget comes in. The midget stands next to him and the bloke notices he's staring at his manhood. The midget sees hes uncomfortable with this and says' sorry for staring but I was just admiring your equpment.' The midget pauses and says 'I'd like a closer look, can I?'

The bloke replies nervously 'Yeah OK.'

The midget goes across the room and drags a mini-step ladder. He climbs up and then says 'A fine specimin can I touch it.' Again the bloke replies yes.

The midget grabs hold of it then says 'Hand over your wallet or I jump' :o:rolleyes:

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General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted

Leicester City might only have two crisps to rub together, but is was them that had to provide hand outs to opponents Coventry City after the sky blues managed to forget to pack their goalkeepers kit.

In a mad rush, Leicester had to donate one of their keeper strips to Coventry resulting in both keepers sporting the Leicester badge. One Leicester player said, “I feel sorry for Frank Sinclair. He didn’t know what end to score an own goal in.”

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Joe.

Joe.

Posted
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Bronze, Silver and Gold Walk into a bar. The bartenter goes "A-U, have a free drink".

For those who don't get it.

Gold=Au

That really is one of the worst jokes I've ever seen. And there's a lot of poor jokes in there.

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Raj

Raj

Posted
Posted

A leicester mans body was found in the river today.

He was wearing his Leicester City replica top,stockings and suspenders,lipstick and mascara and had a dildo up his arse.

Police removed the Leicester City top to save his family any embarrassment!

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General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted
A leicester mans body was found in the river today.

He was wearing his Leicester City replica top,stockings and suspenders,lipstick and mascara and had a dildo up his arse.

Police removed the Leicester City top to save his family any embarrassment!

Shame it wasnt you .... TWAT!!!

Love you.

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Raj

Raj

Posted
Posted

Padddys in a pub telling his mates about joining the army.

On his first parachute jump Paddy recalls"we were about to jump from 30,000ft. One by one they all started to jump but when it was my turn i just couldnt do it"

"NO way" i cried......"i cant"

Then this huge black guy pulled out his 12 incher and said

"paddy, you either jump or im gonna stick this baby right up your arse"

Paddys mate asked"Did you fcuking jump Paddy?"

"Just abit....when it first went in!!!!!" :)

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AoWW

AoWW

Posted
Posted
Huge controversy in the Australian surfing championships.

its been won by a guy from Burma on a wardrobe

Do I go to hell because I found this funny? :crylaugh:

Yes, you do. I'll see you there. :giggle:

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