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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Ultra

Ultra

Posted
Posted
Bad taste alert.

Q; What's the worse thing you can hear on your wedding night?

A;

Good news Mr Tweed, Jade is going to make a full recovery.

:crylaugh::crylaugh::crylaugh:

A Derby fan was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.

Looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Derby Fan. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.

But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman wearing only a Nottingham Forest shirt. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health.

When the young Forest maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the Derby fan started to get 'those feelings' again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and, realising he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young Forest woman cautiously and whispered in her ear,

'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'

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Asha

Asha

Posted
Posted (edited)
Jade Goodys feeling better today,

shes sold her hairdryer on ebay for a tenner

Never heard that before...

After her wedding there was some more good news for Jade Goody this week

She got a tenner for her hairdryer on ebay.

Edited by NSLL
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StanSP

StanSP

Posted
Posted (edited)

First joke I see on Sickipedia:

Have you ever noticed how girls never go to the toilet alone?

It's because I follow them.

lol

A piece of rope walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender seems shocked and says, "Mate, we don't serve your kind in here, you'll have to leave."

The piece of rope walks outside, ties himself up and ruffles up his hair.

He walks back in and says, "Can I have a beer please, mate?"

The bartender says, "No worries" and starts pouring the beer. About halfway through, he stops and says, "Hold on... aren't you that piece of rope that just came in here?"

The rope says, "Nah mate, I'm a frayed knot."

Sorry if this joke has been said before

Edited by FoxForever
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Ashley

Ashley

Posted
Posted

Blonde goes into PC World looking for a pair of curtains for her PC, She ask an assistant where to find them, he replies "what do you mean, you dont need curtains for your pc?" she says back to him "HELLLOOOO! It's got fooking WINDOWS!"

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Libertine

Libertine

Posted
Posted
Blonde goes into PC World looking for a pair of curtains for her PC, She ask an assistant where to find them, he replies "what do you mean, you dont need curtains for your pc?" she says back to him "HELLLOOOO! It's got fooking WINDOWS!"

*Stabs*

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