The joke thread

[Monk]

*** Bad Taste Alert***

That is LOW!

[Hitesh]

That is LOW!

But funny tho!

[Granno]

*** Bad Taste Alert***

Jordan and Peter Andre have split up.

Poor Harvey didn't see it coming!!

Ouch.

[StanSP]

*** Bad Taste Alert***

Jordan and Peter Andre have split up.

Poor Harvey didn't see it coming!!

That is LOW!

But it's still true

[hairy]

[JakeShingler]

[Hitesh]

I was wondering where it was going at one point but very good!

[whitlock]

*bad taste*

Madonna has said she is saddened to hear of peter andre and jordans marriage break up. She also wants first refusal on the blind wog if neither of them want it

[Joe.]

Ray is Gay. He goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

The doctor comes back and says, " Ray, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS."

Ray is devastated. 'Doc, what can I do?

"Eat 1 curry sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers,

40 walnuts and 40 peanuts,1/2 box of All Bran, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice.."

Ray asks bewildered, ' Will that cure me, Doc?'

Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your arse is for..."

[hairy]

[Hitesh]

CAPTION: "What is that thing? Why don't I have one...must ring mummy later on and ask!"

[Ultra]

Some credit crunch jokes....

How do you define optimism?

A banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday.

What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?

The pizza can still feed a family of four.

Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the mornings?

Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

What's the difference between a banker and a pigeon?

A pigeon can still leave a deposit on a new Ferrari.

Edited 13 May 2009 by Ultra

[ASH17LCFC]

"I want to die peacefully - in my sleep, like grandpa... Not screaming like the people in his car..."

[Munzie]

After it was announced Katie Price & Peter Andre are to separate, Katie said she would miss the family holidays they shared, the TV specials they made, and the companionship.

Peter said he would miss the titwanks and watching the fat cod-eyed coon walk into the wall.

[Granno]

After it was announced Katie Price & Peter Andre are to separate, Katie said she would miss the family holidays they shared, the TV specials they made, and the companionship.

Peter said he would miss the titwanks and watching the fat cod-eyed coon walk into the wall.

Ouch.

[Hitesh]

Ouch.

Yeah, poor kid started crying after he said that!

[Stinkenzo]

Where in Britain last week did world leaders meet to discuss global warming?

The Co2 Arena.

[StanSP]

Leeds in League One again!

Know its not a joke but it's still funny!

[AjcW]

Question: Will Dirty Leeds ever get out of league 1?

Answer 1: Dont be so bloody stupid.

Answer 2: Well I suppose league 2 is available.....

[David Guiza]

. The Little finger that pops up towards the end near Ronaldo's crotch makes it even funnier

[Matt]

From WACCOE;

Swine Flu has hit Elland Road, Thousands are left Pig Sick.

[Basingstoke Fox]

May have been posted before but I like this joke.

Whats the difference between a woman and a condom?

There is none, if their not on your cock then their always in your wallet.

[StanSP]

Heard on Radio 1 today:

Caller: Hi Steve, it's Ann from Cardiff.

Steve: Hi! The doctor tells me that you might reach 100 hundred years old!

Caller: ah, who knows?

Steve: I do. You won't!

I was cracking up in my car for the rest of the journey!

[Joe.]

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

[JakeShingler]

So Poland gave the United Kingdom 4 points in the Eurovision Song Contest...

I thought countries couldn't vote for themselves

Edited 17 May 2009 by JakeShingler