Our system detected that your browser is blocking advertisements on our site. Please help support FoxesTalk by disabling any kind of ad blocker while browsing this site. Thank you.
Jump to content
 Share
Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

Recommended Posts

hairy

hairy

Posted
Posted

Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but....

2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia

2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing

2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs around the globe.

Has any one else noticed this?

It gets worse........

Next year......

2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted
Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but....

2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia

2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing

2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs around the globe.

Has any one else noticed this?

It gets worse........

Next year......

2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?

Haha. Like that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
davieG

davieG

Posted
Posted
Won't be the first bout of syphillis and it certainly won't be the last.

Some die of masturbation,

And some of drinking beer.

Some die of constipation.

And some of diarrhoea.

But of all diseases in this world.

There's none that can compare.

With the drip, drip, drip,

Of the syphilis ****,

Or the smell of gonorrhoea.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted
Some die of masturbation,

And some of drinking beer.

Some die of constipation.

And some of diarrhoea.

But of all diseases in this world.

There's none that can compare.

With the drip, drip, drip,

Of the syphilis ****,

Or the smell of gonorrhoea.

What do the **** represent? And what rymes with drip thats a profanity?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Royston.

Royston.

Posted
Posted

A pirate walks into a bar.

The bartender ask's, "whats with the wooden leg?"

Pirate replies, arrr me leg was blown off in a battle.

bartender: well whats with the hook

pirate: arrr i lost me hand in a sword fight

bartender: ok, but what about the eye patch?

pirate: twas looking up at a flock of sea gulls flying by and one of em sh1t in me eye

bartender: hang on, you cant lose your eye just cos a bird shat in it!

pirate: arrr but it was me first day with the hook.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
JoeyB

JoeyB

Posted
Posted

Its old but old oh well:

In the sleepy village of Erbum near the town of Tillet in Hertfordshire lives a woman called Carol Lykes. she is the land lady of the local pub, The Cock Inn all of her mail is adressed to: Carol Lykes, The Cock Inn, Erbum, Tillet, Herts

Link to comment
Share on other sites
DB11

DB11

Posted
Posted
Its old but old oh well:

In the sleepy village of Erbum near the town of Tillet in Hertfordshire lives a woman called Carol Lykes. she is the land lady of the local pub, The Cock Inn all of her mail is adressed to: Carol Lykes, The Cock Inn, Erbum, Tillet, Herts

What about her husband?! :o

Link to comment
Share on other sites
General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted
Its old but old oh well:

In the sleepy village of Erbum near the town of Tillet in Hertfordshire lives a woman called Carol Lykes. she is the land lady of the local pub, The Cock Inn all of her mail is adressed to: Carol Lykes, The Cock Inn, Erbum, Tillet, Herts

It's funny cos there is a pub in Herts called The Cock. However it's in St Albans

Link to comment
Share on other sites
StanSP

StanSP

Posted
Posted

Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90s, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill.

His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a favour. I want to know if there's rugby in heaven."

The dying man said, "We've been friends for years, so I'll do this for you." He then promptly dies.

A couple of days later, the surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his dead friend's voice. The voice says, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there's rugby in heaven."

"What's the bad news?"

"The bad news is that you're playing on Wednesday."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Thracian

Thracian

Posted
Posted

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of workers turned up to start building on the plot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity and started talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the builders, all hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled her immensely.

At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins.

The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.

At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.

'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier. The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.'

'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the house again next week?'

The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:

'I think so. Provided those w*nkers at Jewsons deliver the f****** bricks.'

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AoWW

AoWW

Posted
Posted
So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about cleaning your carpets?". I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness".

*groans* :nono::P

Link to comment
Share on other sites
NewquayFox

NewquayFox

Posted
Posted

Paddy takes his disposable barbecue back to B & Q saying that there was no meat in the box, the Assistant says "you dont get food in the box its for cooking the food on then you throw the barbecue away" Paddy says "Oh Feck" The Assistant then says "this receipt is for 3 barbecues, what happened to the other 2 ? Paddy says "Oh! they are in the freezer" ;0) :giggle:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...