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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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skinnydipper

skinnydipper

Posted
Posted

A man is in a queue at Tesco

and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at

him, then she starts waving.

'Excuse me do I know you?' he asks.

'Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids' she says.

The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says

'Are you the bird I shagged on my stag night, whilst your mate whipped me and

your other mate stuck a brush up my ar * e?'

'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!'

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Sparky

Sparky

Posted
Posted

After all this time it appears that only ONE girl was in the hotel room with the City boys in La Manga

But typical City , they let 2 in in the last minute :ph34r:

(PS , This joke is 5 years late)

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AjcW

AjcW

Posted
Posted

Im Maddie, and unlocked windows was my mums idea.

Hey im josef fritzl... And NO windows was my idea ;)

- What’s the difference between Gary Glitter and acne ?

Acne waits till you’re 13 before it comes on your face.

- What did the epilectic Scotsman get for christmas?

A Wii Fit!

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lildave3

lildave3

Posted
Posted

Im Maddie, and unlocked windows was my mums idea.

Hey im josef fritzl... And NO windows was my idea ;)

- What’s the difference between Gary Glitter and acne ?

Acne waits till you’re 13 before it comes on your face.

I like how you put a spoiler on the first two but not the last one?! :laugh:

They are brilliant lol

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Wycombe Fox

Wycombe Fox

Posted
Posted

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.

For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had placed a hat over his privates.

A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."

He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself."

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Wycombe Fox

Wycombe Fox

Posted
Posted

Find out who truly is your Role Model.

Don't scroll down yet.

Do the simple maths below then scroll down to find your hero.

It's crazy how accurate this is! No peeking!

1. Pick your favourite number between 1-9.

2. Multiply by 3.

3. Add 3.

4. Then again multiply by 3. You will be left with a two or three digit number.

5. Add the digits together.

Now scroll down.............

With that number see who your role model is from the list below:-

1. Albert Einstein.

2. Oprah Winfrey.

3. David Beckham.

4. Bill Clinton.

5. Bill Gates.

6. Mother Theresa.

7. Brad Pitt.

8. Gordon Brown.

9. Isle of Wight Fox.

10. John. F. Kennedy.

Stop trying different numbers!!!! I am your Idol...just deal with it!!!!

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