Our system detected that your browser is blocking advertisements on our site. Please help support FoxesTalk by disabling any kind of ad blocker while browsing this site. Thank you.
Jump to content
 Share
Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

Recommended Posts

Wycombe Fox

Wycombe Fox

Posted
Posted

Three blokes, Steve, Dave and Bruce are working on a ten-storey office block.

Steve falls to his death so the other two have to decide who will break the news to his wife.

Dave decides that he'll do it as he's pretty good at that sensitive, caring stuff so off he trots.

Three hours later he's back, with a create of Stella under his arm.

"Where'd you get that?" asks Bruce.

"Steve's missus gave it to me" replied Dave.

"So you told her that her husband's dead and she gave you a crate of Stella?" said Bruce.

"Well not exactly. I said 'Hi, you must be Steve's widow'. She said that she wasn't a widow and I said 'I bet you a crate of Stella you ****ing are'"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Webbo

Webbo

Posted
Posted (edited)

A Norfolk girl sent an email to an agony Aunt .

"I am 12 years old and haven't had sex yet, do you think my brother is gay?"

PS Why has this thread been unstickied?

Edited by Webbo
Link to comment
Share on other sites
General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted
That is simply marvellous.

I think this is a pretty common joke and I haven't read through all this thread (obviously) so it's probably already been done but what the heck?

A guy says to the girl he's with, "Get down on all fours so I can f*** you up the ass."

She refuses, saying "No I'm not doing that, that's demeaning!"

He looks surprised, "'Demeaning'? That's a big word for a six year-old!"

A man is having sex with a girl and shes really getting into it so it he decides to get a bit more adventurous and flips here over and goes in for some soggy style fun times. She's loving that as well so he goes even more adventurous and slips it in her arse.

The girl turns round and says 'Thats fooking presumptuous, what makes you think you can just stick it in my arse?'

He replies

'Thats a big word for a 5 year old!'

Whats black and blew and hates sec.

the 10 yer old ib my boot.

Haha dint see this.

That'd be:

What's black and blue and hates sex?

The 10 year old in my boot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
skinnydipper

skinnydipper

Posted
Posted

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AjcW

AjcW

Posted
Posted (edited)

Kraft, the makers of terrys chocolate orange have anounced a new advertising campaign starring Wayne Bridge.

Krafts marketing team felt he was the perfect candidate to say "it's not terrys, it's mine".

:whistle:

Edited by AjcW
Link to comment
Share on other sites
AjcW

AjcW

Posted
Posted (edited)
Wayne Bridge sent his missus a replica of his cock made from cadburys chocolate.

She said she prefered Terrys

Who would of thought this would result in so many chocolate orange themed jokes lol.

Edited by AjcW
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...