How Was Your Day?

[leicsmac]

Keep well Tincy. The docs should now be obliged to offer you support - please do take it. It's not the way to go mate, and with some help things will get better for you.

[Webbo]

Hang in there tincy and take any help they offer.

[Rincewind]

There will be offer of support when you leave Tincy. When I was in and ready to leave I had a Social worker talking to me. I finally convinced her I wasn't in because of a deliberate overdose. I did not realise that the hospital staff thought that.

[Tincy]

I literally lost everything, the love of my life and best friend, I'm completely lost at the minute.

[Mike Oxlong]

Turn to anyone you can talk to Tince, friends , family or professionals. Things will get better for you. No doubt about that.

[Alf Bentley]

I literally lost everything, the love of my life and best friend, I'm completely lost at the minute.

 

I'm no expert in these issues, so I hesitate to comment - and you should pay more attention to people who do have a better understanding of issues like depression. However....

 

Ask yourself whether you really have "lost everything". I'm not diminishing the loss that you feel for your ex. But have you lost all your family? All your friends? All your future potential? Your football club? All the things you enjoy doing in life? I presume that you haven't lost all of them? Maybe not even any of them? 

 

Assuming that you have lost your ex, the pain will ease. I remember feeling utterly devastated when the "love of my life" dumped me 30 years ago, but it did get better - and it didn't take forever. In the meantime, if you have a good look at what you've got in your life, you may find that a lot of the positives that will allow you to rebuild your life are already there - you just need to appreciate them and build on them, while coming to terms with your loss.

 

Good luck!

[cambridgefox]

I literally lost everything, the love of my life and best friend, I'm completely lost at the minute.

Feel for you Tincy,keep battling on it will get easier and as others have said take all the help you can get.Keep strong bud.Great support from the FT members here,take that as a positive however small it might seem.We are all behind you mate.

[cambridgefox]

It's my daughter's birthday, and we've got 5 of her mates sleeping over. Fvcking bedlam.

in my experience it shouldn't be called a sleepover,I hate them.

[Buce]

in my experience it shouldn't be called a sleepover,I hate them.

Yep. The missus ended-up going into them and reading the riot act at 04.30. And I can't begin to describe the mess they've made - we're going to be hoovering-up bits of Pringles for days.

Never again.

[Buce]

I'm no expert in these issues, so I hesitate to comment - and you should pay more attention to people who do have a better understanding of issues like depression. However....

Ask yourself whether you really have "lost everything". I'm not diminishing the loss that you feel for your ex. But have you lost all your family? All your friends? All your future potential? Your football club? All the things you enjoy doing in life? I presume that you haven't lost all of them? Maybe not even any of them?

Assuming that you have lost your ex, the pain will ease. I remember feeling utterly devastated when the "love of my life" dumped me 30 years ago, but it did get better - and it didn't take forever. In the meantime, if you have a good look at what you've got in your life, you may find that a lot of the positives that will allow you to rebuild your life are already there - you just need to appreciate them and build on them, while coming to terms with your loss.

Good luck!

Whilst everything you say is perfectly true, Alf, it's precisely the nature of the disease that prevents you exercising such positive thinking. At the very time that strength of mind is most needed, it's your mind that's letting you down. It's the cruelest of ironies, and is what makes it such a pernicious illness. Recognizing this fact is the key to recovery, IMO: if you can understand that however bad you're feeling, the real reason that everything seems so hopeless is because you are ill, and not because that's the reality of the situation, then you will have taken the first step to recovery.

Depending on the severity of the illness, anti-depressents can help, in as much that they take away some of the overpowering feelings of hopelessness which are preventing you seeing life as it really is, especially in conjunction with some cognitive behavioral therapy, but unfortunately there is rarely a quick fix. It certainly doesn't help matters that in terms of funding, mental health is the poor relation and there are long waiting lists to get any real help.

Edited 10 April 2015 by Buce

[Alf Bentley]

Whilst everything you say is perfectly true, Alf, it's precisely the nature of the disease that prevents you exercising such positive thinking. At the very time that strength of mind is most needed, it's your mind that's letting you down. It's the cruelest of ironies, and is what makes it such a pernicious illness.

 

 

I appreciate that, Buce. That's why I hesitated to comment at all - and prefaced my comment by stressing that he should pay most attention to those who have a better understanding of depression (assuming he has that problem, which he's said he has, I think). Of course, we're just a load of anonymous folk on a football forum, who don't know one another for the most part. Is Tincy currently suffering from clinical depression or just extremely turbulent emotions and a crisis in his personal life? I've no idea. I'm assuming there's at least an element of the former, but might be wrong. I just thought it might be helpful to challenge his "I've lost everything" comment so that he might re-think that a bit.....but that might be a useless or even counter-productive thing to have said. The fact that he's come onto the forum to discuss his problems suggests that he might find people's response useful in some way, though, I hope.

 

Though maybe "accept some help from those with a better understanding of you and your issues" is the best we can say?

[Buce]

I appreciate that, Buce. That's why I hesitated to comment at all - and prefaced my comment by stressing that he should pay most attention to those who have a better understanding of depression (assuming he has that problem, which he's said he has, I think). Of course, we're just a load of anonymous folk on a football forum, who don't know one another for the most part. Is Tincy currently suffering from clinical depression or just extremely turbulent emotions and a crisis in his personal life? I've no idea. I'm assuming there's at least an element of the former, but might be wrong. I just thought it might be helpful to challenge his "I've lost everything" comment so that he might re-think that a bit.....but that might be a useless or even counter-productive thing to have said. The fact that he's come onto the forum to discuss his problems suggests that he might find people's response useful in some way, though, I hope.

Though maybe "accept some help from those with a better understanding of you and your issues" is the best we can say?

Sorry, Alf, re-reading what I posted, it probably came across as a bit preachy: that wasn't my intention.

Depression is an illness that is largely incomprehesible to the non-sufferer, and most advice given, however well-intentioned, is given from the perspective of a well mind, and whatever terms it's couched in, usually boils down to 'pull yourself together'. It really isn't that simple. Not, I hasten to add, that I'm suggesting that's what you were doing - your post was thoughtful and considered.

[Alf Bentley]

Sorry, Alf, re-reading what I posted, it probably came across as a bit preachy: that wasn't my intention.

Depression is an illness that is largely incomprehesible to the non-sufferer, and most advice given, however well-intentioned, is given from the perspective of a well mind, and whatever terms it's couched in, usually boils down to 'pull yourself together'. It really isn't that simple. Not, I hasten to add, that I'm suggesting that's what you were doing - your post was thoughtful and considered.

 

No apology required. Your comment didn't seem preachy to me. It was a good point - and one that had already made me wonder whether to comment at all.

 

I don't know Tincy and have no experience of depression (though I do have some experience of people with overlapping issues). So someone who knows him or gets to know him by offering support and has such experience will probably have something more effective to offer. But maybe some of the concern expressed on here will filter through and help him feel less isolated in some small way.

[MooseBreath]

Let's not turn this into another hyper-sensitive depression thread please. We don't even know if tincy is suffering from depression or is just temporarily a bit pissed off at how things have panned out.

[leicsmac]

Let's not turn this into another hyper-sensitive depression thread please. We don't even know if tincy is suffering from depression or is just temporarily a bit pissed off at how things have panned out.

 

I'm thinking a fvcking suicide attempt is a bit more than 'temporarily a bit pissed off', Moose, for pity's sake!

[Buce]

I'm thinking a fvcking suicide attempt is a bit more than 'temporarily a bit pissed off', Moose, for pity's sake!

This.

[Tincy]

Thank you so much for your support, It really means a lot.

I've been suffering from depression since early February due to my job, and now losing the love of my life and best friend, tipped me over the edge.

[MooseBreath]

I'm thinking a fvcking suicide attempt is a bit more than 'temporarily a bit pissed off', Moose, for pity's sake!

How would you describe it then? It's not definitely depression. People are always talking about how depression strikes for unknown reasons. Here we have very obvious reasons for why he is feeling down. It might not be depression, hence we don't need another thread where we tip toe around the issue for pages on end.

[leicsmac]

How would you describe it then? It's not definitely depression. People are always talking about how depression strikes for unknown reasons. Here we have very obvious reasons for why he is feeling down. It might not be depression, hence we don't need another thread where we tip toe around the issue for pages on end.

 

Exactly what it is is irrelevant - it could be depression or possession by the Flying Spaghetti Monster for what it's worth - what's important is a contributor to this site felt badly enough about the state of his own mind to attempt to take his own life. I think a little sensitivity and respect is what's called for in such circumstances, yes? 

[Rincewind]

How would you describe it then? It's not definitely depression. People are always talking about how depression strikes for unknown reasons. Here we have very obvious reasons for why he is feeling down. It might not be depression, hence we don't need another thread where we tip toe around the issue for pages on end.

words fail me

Edited 10 April 2015 by Rincewind

[Buce]

How would you describe it then? It's not definitely depression. People are always talking about how depression strikes for unknown reasons. Here we have very obvious reasons for why he is feeling down. It might not be depression, hence we don't need another thread where we tip toe around the issue for pages on end.

Depression can strike out of the blue for unknown reasons, though there is usually a hidden cause, or it can as a reaction to life circumstances, as in this case. It's called 'reactive depression'.

If you can't hold your nasty tongue, I think we'd all rather you didn't post at all. You're a despicable human being, with no apparent redeeming qualities. If that gets me banned, so be it.

[MooseBreath]

Now that tincy himself has said he's depressed then I can't complain about the conversation being about depression.

There was a concern that tincy's real life worries might get drowned about by another hyper-sensitive depression discussion. That's what I wanted to avoid, for tincy's sake.

If that makes me a despicable human being, so be it.

[Alf Bentley]

What a lovely day. It's Friday. The sun is out. The Tories seem intent on fvcking up their election campaign. I have a good feeling about WBA v LCFC. What could possibly go wrong with the world?

 

We're all brothers and sisters together and I'm filled with a sense of the brotherhood (and sisterhood) of man...

 

[Finnegan]

... Ugh.

[Rincewind]

That video has spoilt my day.