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BigGibbo

How Was Your Day?

By BigGibbo, in General Chat

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foxfanazer

foxfanazer

Posted
Posted

Having a bit of a tough time of it financially.

My pregnant girlfriend got made redundant last month with no pay off (been there for less than a year). I'm working but don't come out with an awful lot. She has applied for benefits to see what we are entitled to as she won't get another job now being 6 months pregnant. We still haven't received any answer or info from benefits and it's getting to the stage where we will run of money soon :/

Stressing me out a bit and I know it is upsetting her

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted (edited)

Firstly put your efforts into stopping the drinking mate.  I know it feels like the only thing that can shut out the pain for a bit, but it makes the lows much much worse.

 

You've got a roof over your head at your mums. Whilst it might not be ideal, It gives you options and opportunities as you don't have a mortgage hanging over you. If you don't like your job so much, you can use always retrain towards something you'd rather be doing. Without commitments like kids and a house now is the time to do it.

 

Whilst it's not going to be easy at the minute, there are plenty of opportunities out there for you change things around and the other stuff will get better.

 

As someone with a history of excess boozing, I'd absolutely echo Babylon on this.

 

Particularly if life is difficult, it's easy to get into the habit of consistently drinking too much to "cheer yourself up" or to blot out pain. Problem is that hangovers and sobering up then brings your mood down even further, you end up having another session to avoid the miserable moods and it can become a continuous vicious circle. At the very least, you need to be making sure that you're having a few days a week when you're not boozing at all - and preferably try to find 1 or 2 other ways of adding something positive to your life (get back in touch with friends/family you've not seen recently? get playing a sport or something else that's a bit sociable? You'd know best what might help).

 

Sorry if I come across as a boring, lecturing old git - and I should stress that I have no experience of serious depression (though I do of chronic alcohol abuse).

Edited by Alf Bentley
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kingcarr21

kingcarr21

Posted
Posted

Having a bit of a tough time of it financially.

My pregnant girlfriend got made redundant last month with no pay off (been there for less than a year). I'm working but don't come out with an awful lot. She has applied for benefits to see what we are entitled to as she won't get another job now being 6 months pregnant. We still haven't received any answer or info from benefits and it's getting to the stage where we will run of money soon :/

Stressing me out a bit and I know it is upsetting her

The last thing you need is your girlfriend having financial stresses. You will need to keep calling them to get an answer about benefits. Do you have a mortgage or renting? Your best to have a serious look at what luxuries you have (if any) and get rid.

 

You will most certainly be able to get some benefits that would see you through im sure. Redundancy has come at the worse time for you unfortunately. Do you have family that can help out? Dont leave it until the last minute to ask for help. You're best to let your parents know now your worries im sure they will support you.

 

Hope everything works out for you, as a parent myself you need to focus solely on the baby when he/she arrives and not have the added stress of money problems. Im sure it will work out for you :thumbup:

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ScouseFox

ScouseFox

Posted
Posted

Got a phone interview this week, what a weird format for an interview. Seems a bit informal.

 

yeah they're very strange. i've done a few in the past, one or two were genuine lengthy interviews, another was just checking i was still interested, could provide the documents/references etc that i'd stated in my application and then arranged the date for a proper interview. that was easy like. good luck with it man. 

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MooseBreath

MooseBreath

Posted
Posted

Having a bit of a tough time of it financially.

My pregnant girlfriend got made redundant last month with no pay off (been there for less than a year). I'm working but don't come out with an awful lot. She has applied for benefits to see what we are entitled to as she won't get another job now being 6 months pregnant. We still haven't received any answer or info from benefits and it's getting to the stage where we will run of money soon :/

Stressing me out a bit and I know it is upsetting her

Sounds a bit dodgy that she was made redundant just before statutory maternity would kick in?

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted

Having a bit of a tough time of it financially.

My pregnant girlfriend got made redundant last month with no pay off (been there for less than a year). I'm working but don't come out with an awful lot. She has applied for benefits to see what we are entitled to as she won't get another job now being 6 months pregnant. We still haven't received any answer or info from benefits and it's getting to the stage where we will run of money soon :/

Stressing me out a bit and I know it is upsetting her

 

I'm no expert, but you might already be entitled to claim working tax credits (if you're 25+) and housing benefit.

 

Once the baby arrives, you'll be entitled to child benefit (£80-odd per 4 weeks) and child tax credit (depends on income, but quite high on a household income below £20k and still well worth it on £20k-£25k).

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Samilktray

Samilktray

Posted
Posted

yeah they're very strange. i've done a few in the past, one or two were genuine lengthy interviews, another was just checking i was still interested, could provide the documents/references etc that i'd stated in my application and then arranged the date for a proper interview. that was easy like. good luck with it man.

Thanks pal, id forgot I even applied for the job so im not too fussed about noy getting it.
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Rincewind

Rincewind

Posted
Posted

As above posts. Also keep a record of your weekly/monthly spending even daily if you need to. Look at all your outgoing bills and income and see what is most urgent. I did this when I was out of work and would have run out of money eventually even after budgeting. Luckily PC kicked in and has given me a safety net plus I received a little from a pension plan so either my bank balance or I will finish first.

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foxfanazer

foxfanazer

Posted
Posted

The last thing you need is your girlfriend having financial stresses. You will need to keep calling them to get an answer about benefits. Do you have a mortgage or renting? Your best to have a serious look at what luxuries you have (if any) and get rid.

You will most certainly be able to get some benefits that would see you through im sure. Redundancy has come at the worse time for you unfortunately. Do you have family that can help out? Dont leave it until the last minute to ask for help. You're best to let your parents know now your worries im sure they will support you.

Hope everything works out for you, as a parent myself you need to focus solely on the baby when he/she arrives and not have the added stress of money problems. Im sure it will work out for you :thumbup:

Thanks for that pal. We're private renting so we need it sorting soon. They just like to drag their heels with it unfortunately. Hopefully anything we get is backdated to when we claimed. We do have supportive parents but we just don't like to ask
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foxfanazer

foxfanazer

Posted
Posted

I'm no expert, but you might already be entitled to claim working tax credits (if you're 25+) and housing benefit.

Once the baby arrives, you'll be entitled to child benefit (£80-odd per 4 weeks) and child tax credit (depends on income, but quite high on a household income below £20k and still well worth it on £20k-£25k).

Yeah we've applied for everything we are entitled to but have just had no follow up from our claim. I don't like claiming but at present we have no choice
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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted

Yeah we've applied for everything we are entitled to but have just had no follow up from our claim. I don't like claiming but at present we have no choice

 

There's nothing wrong with claiming what you're entitled to, particularly when you need it and when parenthood is pending.

 

You might need to contact different organisations to claim different things, though.

- Tax credits are handled by HMRC; at the moment, you (not your partner) would need to claim working tax credit, I think; part of the delay might be down to the change of the tax year (start of April)

- Housing benefit is handled by the local council (though can be included in a claim for benefits, I think)

- Benefits for unemployment etc (Jobseeker's, income support) are mainly handled by Jobcentre Plus, I think; not sure whether you'd be entitled to anything, but if your partner has paid enough N.I. contributions, she might be.

Loads of info on official web sites, anyway - worth trying the "calculators" that they have on those sites, as a quick way of finding out what you're likely to be entitled to.

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kingcarr21

kingcarr21

Posted
Posted

Also my partner hasn't felt the baby kick since early yeterday so we are waiting for the midwife to

come out to her. Trying not to panic but can't help but feel a little worried

Dont get yourself worked up. Baby is probably just sleeping. Put some headphones on ur girlfriends tummy and play music. That may make baby move abit.

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted

Also my partner hasn't felt the baby kick since early yeterday so we are waiting for the midwife to

come out to her. Trying not to panic but can't help but feel a little worried

 

Our daughter only kicked very occasionally - just took it easy most of the time, a trait she has pursued since birth! Always worth getting it checked out, though, if you're worried.

 

Hope you get the financial issues sorted quickly (keep politely hassling them, if necessary) as a pending birth is enough stress without other worries.

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Bayfox

Bayfox

Posted
Posted

When we had our 1st my wife never noticed her kick much during the day as generally you are on the move, busy etc yourself.

yet come 10pm it was like a party in her belly.

If you are Concerned tho get it checked out. That's what midwifes are there for.

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Finnegan

Finnegan

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I just hate my life at the min, I hate my job, I'm living in a box room at my mums and I'm drinking far to much.

Man up and pack attention seeking on the internet.

If any of the stuff you've posted on here recently is true, and I personally have massive doubts, you're not going to get any better by wallowing on here being melodramatic to strangers on a football forum.

You've got to want to get better to get better. Personally I find it amazing that you made an alleged suicide attempt and you're back to moaning about your weekend as if the LRI made no attempt to petition to keep you for evaluation.

If they've not referred you to the bradgate (if you were ever even in the hospital) then I strongly suggest you get yourself to your GP and tell them what's occurring. It's about the hardest thing I've ever done, that first time in to see a doctor and actually fess up to feeling that low and talking about it afterwards to a counsellor is about equally challenging.

But you clearly want help or you wouldn't be reaching out with half arsed attempts at self harm (because people who actually want to die don't **** it up and if they do they don't broadcast it to the ****ing internet from their hospital bed.)

You might have guessed from my tone you've been hitting a few nerves with your recent posting habits. I bit my tongue at first when you appeared chatting shit in the tinder thread and making up obvious bollocks about pulling in bars and paying off your exs sister. I assumed you were mtwg or scouse taking the piss. Now though I'd like to think they're too decent to actually go this far and I'm left with the conclusion you're either MB on the troll or, sadly, an actual real person.

Either way, I should take my own advice to dangerous tiger and be less judgemental about people I don't know. So benefit of the doubt given, assuming this is even half real, you have my sympathies but you're going about getting relief all to shit.

Get yourself to a gp or get in touch with MIND or look around the internet for support groups that are actually experiencing what you are. Or if you want to, personal message me and I'll offer any first hand advice I can if I've not totally offended you.

But please, god, enough of the teen angst shit. It's attention seeking stereotype #1.

If I've over stepped the mark for anyone else? Meh, sorry, but don't really care.

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