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BigGibbo

How Was Your Day?

By BigGibbo, in General Chat

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broughtonblue

broughtonblue

Posted
Posted (edited)

Got a dilemma,Dad poorly with the big c,but not doing too badly although nothing they can do,mum phoned to say he has been taken to hospital with deep vein thrombosis.now my dilemma is im off to thailand with the wife and kids next thursday,and without sounding like wymsey have spent 6k on this and the kids are so excited,i can claim on the insurance and get most of the money back so not a huge problem,but my mind is a tad jumbled on what to do.mum says go,but if anything happens i will feel so guilty and might not enjoy it as much worrying,if i dont go,he might be ok and have cancelled for nothing.confused! the kids will roar their arses off for a week if we dont,and i havent told them he is ill!

Massive decision, but I wouldn't go, if anything happens whilst you are away and you weren't there to say goodbye you would most likely regret it in the future! Plus your mum needs all the support she can get at this difficult time even if she is putting a brave face on things. Also as you said, you might not even enjoy the break with you being so worried

Edited by broughtonblue
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Haydos

Haydos

Posted
Posted

Massive decision, but I wouldn't go, if anything happens whilst you are away and you weren't there to say goodbye you would most likely regret it in the future! Plus your mum needs all the support she can get at this difficult time even if she is putting a brave face on things. Also as you said, you might not even enjoy the break with you being so worried

Fair points there as well.

Wouldn't like to be in your shoes :dunno:

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cambridgefox

cambridgefox

Posted
Posted

Still decided not to tell them then? I think i'd do the same if I were you. With regards to cancelling the hol, are you planning on telling them at all? Because if you aren't cancelling would probably mean you'll have to.

What does your dad think you should do? Probably worth listening to him. It depends on how you and him feel about it. If you've both accepted it and all that and he wants you and the kids to go enjoy it then why not?

If you're not planning on telling your kids at all I think I'd go on the hol. Obviously it's a sensitive issue though and I can't imagine what it's like actually making the call. Good luck anyhow, you seem to be handling it all really well :fc:

Thanks,he wants me to go,thinking i wont tell them at all, until after the holiday(if we go)its just the DVT thats put a spanner in the works,im sure i will find out more tonight,im not one for stress but ive had a hell of a week,im not one for repping(is that a word) too hard and have no pressure, and i do a good job(nothing like self praise),but this week has been manic with everyone of my customers wanting packaging designed made and delivered yesterday,i should be winding down,Kids been ill,wife getting immense pressure from work(no change there with the banks) need loads of bits for trip,I NEED THIS HOLIDAY!

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cambridgefox

cambridgefox

Posted
Posted

Massive decision, but I wouldn't go, if anything happens whilst you are away and you weren't there to say goodbye you would most likely regret it in the future! Plus your mum needs all the support she can get at this difficult time even if she is putting a brave face on things. Also as you said, you might not even enjoy the break with you being so worried

You are right massive decision,the big c is not too bad,but as i said in my previous post its the DVT thats the worry.Mum wants me to go,Dad wants me to go.I think if the DVT is ok,i will go and can relax,i dont usually have such exotic expensive holidays and i think this is making my decision worse,if i was going to france like i do in the summer i would feel less pressure to make a decision,as i said replying to wymsey once,my parents are very well off(not me though),but some things money cant buy health, happiness,so if i lose all the cost of the holiday for the sake of seeing my dad.So be it, on the scheme of things, money really is not that important.

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AoWW

AoWW

Posted
Posted

You are right massive decision,the big c is not too bad,but as i said in my previous post its the DVT thats the worry.Mum wants me to go,Dad wants me to go.I think if the DVT is ok,i will go and can relax,i dont usually have such exotic expensive holidays and i think this is making my decision worse,if i was going to france like i do in the summer i would feel less pressure to make a decision,as i said replying to wymsey once,my parents are very well off(not me though),but some things money cant buy health, happiness,so if i lose all the cost of the holiday for the sake of seeing my dad.So be it, on the scheme of things, money really is not that important.

Hmm, it's a tough call but as Haydos has already said if you're going to cancel you'd really have to tell you kids why. Personally I think it sounds like you and your family need the holiday but I'm sure if I was in your position I'd be agonising over it just as much. Being brutal, and I'm no medical expert, but my understanding of DVT is that if the worst is going to happen it'll happen very, very quickly - and tbh you could be 15 miles up the road and still not make it to the hospital in time but, yes, I agree you would be there to support your Mum quicker than you would if you were in Thailand. Might be worth discussing the 'what if...' timing issues with his consultant... I'm sure he'd understand why you need to know and it might give you more information to base your decision on.

If I was in your shoes and I'd decided to go I'd want to have at least have a contingency plan in place in case I did need to get home in a hurry. I know it all sounds a bit 'practical' but at least then you'll have a plan for all scenarios. Would you come back alone or would you need to bring your family back with you? (I know you'd probably all want to come back together but what if there was only one seat available flying out that day... would your wife be ok with making arrangements to come back separately?) Would you, financially, be able to book a flight back (and hope you can claim it back on insurance later)? How far are you from the airport - both in Thailand and in the UK - and how would you get to and from them if needs be, and how long would it take? Might also be worth finding out re the likelihood of getting a flight back at short notice - or are they all likely to be full to capacity? I'm sorry, I know this all seems a bit morbid thinking 'worst case' but I often think if you've at least planned in your mind what you'd do it takes the panic-factor out of things if you're forced to act quickly.

One thing I would do is make someone (your Mum) promise to contact you if your Dad's situation changes. The father of a friend of mine died while she was on holiday and her family decided not to tell her as it would 'spoil her holiday'. She was distraught when she later got home and discovered that she'd carried on enjoying her holiday completely oblivious to what had happened back home. She really resented that her family took that decision (although I suppose you can understand that they did it with good intentions) and she's never really forgiven them for keeping it from her. If it was me, and no matter how much of a state I was in as I flew home... I'd want to know.

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cambridgefox

cambridgefox

Posted
Posted

Thanks to ALL for your advice,it is appreciated.

Dad went to hospital and it was confirmed as DVT after a scan,the hospital were not worried gave him an injection to thin the blood and said you can go home,and someone will be over to his house to give injections for the next few days.Just goes to show who the experts are and when you hear about DVT us non experts panic and fear the worst,anyway im really happy now and next week this time i will be waiting for the plane and offski to ladyboy city and Koh samui .im sure you are not interested but its the Tongsai Bay in Koh Samui(have a look if you are).Once again thanks all for your ideas and advice.

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