Amusing News Stories

[Rincewind]

Yes it does seem a dunb thing to do. He should have waited until the reward had gone up to 500 at least.

[Trav Le Bleu]

London organizers ask The Who’s Keith Moon to perform at Olympics. No response so far

[Zingari]

London organizers ask The Who’s Keith Moon to perform at Olympics. No response so far

i think they may need to look for a "substitute"

[Trav Le Bleu]

Perhaps they were going to get him to perform in the Olympic pool?

[Jaspa]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2128811/First-Pizza-Huts-hot-dog-stuffed-crust-theres-Burger-Kings-Bacon-Sundae-calories-fast-food-lovers-take.html

Yummy

[jonthefox]

http://www.dailymail...overs-take.html

Yummy

Fook off. Thats not real is it?.

[Jaspa]

Fook off. Thats not real is it?.

Only in America that one !

The HotDog pizza crust thing is over here tho

I cant believe they actually try selling this crap, I came up with better concoctions when I was 5, and that was mostly shampoo !

[Jaspa]

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/hardcore-gay-porn-interrupts-canadian-local-news-314617

A botched repair job by a local cable company had shocked CHCH-TV viewers watching around three minutes of indecent sex scenes as they sipped their morning coffee.

TORONTO – Canada has a new home for hard news.

Hamilton, Ontario-based TV station CHCH Television apologized Friday to shocked viewers after its local morning newscast was interrupted by roughly three minutes of hardcore gay pornography.

A red-faced CHCH news director Mike Katrycz said the offending porn originated at a local cable company, which inadvertently inserted the wrong programming after repairing some cut cable lines.

“In the splicing together, unfortunately, some inappropriate content went to air,” he said in a video that aired on the CHCH website.

It turns out master control had to make frantic efforts to pull the porn content off the air, as it originated off-site.

CHCH viewers took to Twitter Friday to vent, with one calling the Friday newscast “Morning Wood,” while another mistakenly thought “I woke up in the middle of a Maplethorpe shoot.”

[Guest]

Lets face it, we've all been there......

http://www.theargus...._Littlehampton/

After alighting it in Littlehampton witnesses reported the teen, from Bournemouth, running in and out of traffic.

Alighting it? What century was this guy born in?

[Guest]

i think they may need to look for a "substitute"

more likely to find a prostitute.

[Jaspa]

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/896542-husband-watching-internet-porn-comes-across-film-starring-his-wife

Husband watching internet porn comes across film starring his wife

An Egyptian man who ventured online to watch his first pornographic film, was shocked to see that the leading lady was his own wife.

The man, who is identified only as Ramadan, began watching the film in an internet cafe and instantly collapsed in disbelief after spotting his wife on the screen.

Husband watching internet porn comes across film starring his wife (Jupiter)

Once he had come round from his initial surprise he saw that she was in 11 different films and rushed home to confront his unfaithful wife.

At first she reacted with anger and denied the allegations while swearing profusely at him, although she later admitted to starring in the film after Ramadan showed her the videos.

She confessed that the man in the films was her pre-marriage boyfriend, before adding that she had never loved her husband, despite being with him for 16 years and having four children together.

Ramadan told Egyptian newspapers: 'I found 11 films showing my wife in indecent scenes with her lover… it was the first time I watched a porno film and I did this just out of curiosity.'

After being found out by her husband, he claimed 'she then confessed to be still in love with her boyfriend, saying he is as young as her and that I am an old man'.

The man didn't say whether the couple were planning to divorce.

Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/896542-husband-watching-internet-porn-comes-across-film-starring-his-wife#ixzz1t7cGcac7

[Jaspa]

http://chinanews24.net/2012/04/woman-kills-man-by-squeezing-his-testicles-over-parking-dispute/

Woman kills man by squeezing his testicles over parking dispute

A female scooter rider killed a man by squeezing his testicles over a parking dispute, in Haikou City, Hainan Province, China.

The 41 years old woman rode her scooter to an elementary school in Meilan District, to pick up her child. When she tried to park her scooter in front of a shop, she was rejected by the 42-year-old male shop owner.

The two parties soon fell into a quarrel, and then the physical confrontation began. The furious woman called up her husband and brother to come help her, which resulted in a fight.

During the fight, the middle aged woman managed to grab the man’s testicles, and squeezed them till he finally collapsed on the ground.

The man was immediately rushed to the hospital, but unfortunately died.

[Rincewind]

[Rincewind]

Perthshire town of Dull wants to twin with American town of Boring.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-17825138

[Jaspa]

This thread has just about had it !

Man sues BMW after a four-hour motorcycle ride leaves him with a two-year erection

A California man is suing BMW after a four-hour round trip on a motorcycle with a 'ridge-like seat' gave him a permanent erection which left him ‘unable to engage in sexual activity’.

Henry Wolf is seeking compensation for lost wages, medical expenses, emotional distress and what he calls ‘general damages’ from the motoring manufacturer and seat-maker Corbin-Pacific.

He alleges that a journey through San Francisco, California, on May 1, 2010 left him with a two-year erection and a wealth of other problems.

Problematic: Henry Wolf began suffering from priapism after riding his 1993 BMW motorcycle, equipped with a Corbin-Pacific seat

‘[The] Plaintiff was riding his 1993 BMW motorcycle equipped with a Corbin-Pacific seat,' the suit filed in California Superior Court, San Francisco, last Thursday states.

'The ride lasted approximately two hours each way to Plaintiff's destination, after which Plaintiff developed a severe case of priapism (a persistent lasting erection).'

Priapism, a usually painful erection that lasts for more than four hours and occurs without sexual stimulation, can lead to permanent erectile dysfunction if it is not treated immediately.

‘[The] plaintiff alleges that this condition was caused by the ridge-like seat on his motorcycle, negligently designed, manufactured and/or installed by defendants,’ the suit continues.

Seeking compensation: The suit against BMW and Corbin-Pacific was filed in California Superior Court, San Francisco, last Thursday

Wolf reportedly fitted his bike with an after-market seat to make his motorcycle rides more comfortable, according to CBS.

But instead of the ease he was hoping for, Wolf has been plagued by the distressing condition ever since.

‘[The] Plaintiff now suffers from priapism (a long lasting erection), and has been experiencing continuing problems since his motorcycle ride,' the suit alleges.

‘He is now unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish.

‘Plaintiff is distraught and distressed because of this. Defendants, and each of them, are liable to plaintiff due [to] their negligent design, manufacture and/or installation of the seat on plaintiff’s motorcycle.’

He really loved that bike huh

Edited 4 May 2012 by SpazticChicken

[Jaspa]

"It was hell, I can't walk!" Man found sobbing in street after 36-hour sex ordeal with German nymphomaniac

The woman was arrested last month after another exhausted lover escaped onto a balcony and cried for help

A man was found sobbing in the street by police after his one-night stand demanded too much sex.

The African man broke down in tears outside the woman’s apartment after the 36-hour ordeal in Munich, Germany.

Police confirmed that the exhausted man told them: “I met her on a bus. She invited me back here. Oh God, it was hell. I can’t walk. Please help me.”

The man is believed to be the latest victim of a German nymphomaniac who was arrested last month after forcing her date to make love to her eight times.

Her first victim was forced to escape from the apartment to raise the alarm when his insatiable lover refused to let him go.

The 43-year-old met the woman in a bar in Munich, Germany, according to German news website The Province.

The pair went back to her apartment where they had sex several times, but when the eager woman demanded more, the exhausted man refused.

When the sex-hungry woman wouldn’t take no for an answer, the man took drastic action.

The desperate man was reportedly spotted on a balcony crying for help after the eager woman demanded more and more sex.

A police spokesman was quoted as saying: “He complied with the woman's wishes another few times so he could finally leave the apartment.

“But when she continued to refuse and demanded even more sex from him, he fled to the balcony and alerted the police.”

The victim reportedly told police: “You have got to help me. She is trying to kill me with sex. I cannot get out and I cannot go on!”

Incredibly, when police arrived at the apartment, the woman even tried to tempt them into her bedroom.

The woman, who is believed to be 47, has now been taken to hospital for psychiatric observation.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/man-found-sobbing-in-street-after-813563

[sphericalfox]

http://gizmodo.com/5907640/lightning-strikes-mans-scrotum

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Lightning Strikes Man’s Scrotum

A lightning struck a 53-year-old man's scrotum and then exited his body through one of his feet in Madrid, Spain. The good news: he survived. The bad news: his testicles were burned. A lucky man. Or maybe not.

The man was walking on Avenida de La Ilustración—a street in Madrid's suburb Tres Cantos—when the lightning struck his scrotum through his pants, travelled down one of his legs and went to the sidewalk through his foot. He fell unconscious.

His son called the emergency services, who treated the burns on his scrotum and feet. They moved him to the Hospital de la Paz, where he got under several tests. Luckily, his heart and brain were not affected by the lightning, said the doctors.

[Jon the Hat]

Justice is served. Brilliant.

[ozleicester]

Counting is not a strong point....

THIS was one obstacle London Olympic poster girl Jessica Ennis didn't expect to face.

The 26-year-old heptathlete was denied a personal best in the 100m hurdles at the Great City Games in Manchester because organizers embarrassingly laid out only nine barriers instead of the necessary 10....

Read more:

http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/missing-hurdle-leaves-olympic-star-red-faced/story-e6frfku0-1226362320690#ixzz1vTS7w4nA

http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/missing-hurdle-leaves-olympic-star-red-faced/story-e6frfku0-1226362320690

Justice is served. Brilliant.

[Zingari]

It must be horrible to be stabbed to death by a cock !

[ozleicester]

It must be horrible to be stabbed to death by a cock !

Man up... chicken!

[hairy]

Not really amusing but he fact it appears in 'news' is amusing

Hedgehog stuck in tin of carrots rescued by RSPCA

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-18195580

[Rincewind]

It must be horrible to be stabbed to death by a cock !

Even worse to be choked to death by one.

[I am Rod Hull]

Even worse to be choked to death by one.

[Jackirius]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2150585/Naked-man-shot-dead-police-chewed-mans-face-leaving-victim-fighting-life.html Just seen this on twitter. What the feck?