Amusing News Stories

[MPH]

http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/nature/dolphins-deliberately-get-high-on-puffer-fish-nerve-toxins-by-carefully-chewing-and-passing-them-around-9030126.html

That's a fin line they crossed there.....

[Webbo]

Nando's fan spent £1,000 on meals at 85 branches to win free food for life... only to discover the competition had ended

Christopher Poole, 26, was trying for an infamous Nando's 'black card'

The coveted card guarantees free food for life to holders

Promotion promised the deal to anyone who had eaten in firm's 1031 stores

But he was gutted to discover the competition had finished two years ago

 

 

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2531893/Nandos-fan-spent-1-000-meals-85-branches-win-free-food-life-discover-competition-ended.html

[sphericalfox]

http://metro.co.uk/2013/12/31/andrew-frey-oregon-man-high-on-meth-fights-15-police-officers-while-masturbating-in-bar-4245713/

 

Meth user fights off 15 police officers ‘while masturbating in bar’

 

 

 

 

 

 

Andrew Frey (Picture: Police handout)

So much for a quiet Sunday night.

An Oregon man high on meth fought off 15 police officers after allegedly refusing to stop publicly masturbating in a bar.

Andrew Frey, 37, exposed himself to a bartender at Iggy’s Bar & Grill on December 22 before he began pleasuring himself, according to police.

He then moved into the bathroom where he continued his inappropriate behaviour before police were called to the scene.

Deputy Peter Walker, who was first at the scene, used a Taser on the suspect multiple times but it had no effect, according to a police statement.

The two then got into a fight before police reinforcements arrived at the bar.

It took more than 15 police officers from three different forces to finally arrest Frey, who was taken to a local hospital for assessment.

He is being held on charges of public indecency, resisting arrest and theft of services.

He told officers has no recollection of the incident but admitted he had taken meth.

 

 

Slightly misleading headline across most news outlets on this one.

Edited 1 January 2014 by sphericalfox

[ozleicester]

Its really only one line that amused me....

 

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/20621040/buddhist-monk-scam-warning/

 

Conmen masquerading as Buddhist monks are attempting to scam Perth shoppers of their cash in return for worthless prayer beads, amulets or spiritual guidebooks.

 

As opposed to all those incredibly useful and valuable prayer beads, amulets and "spiritual guidebooks"

[Rincewind]

Its really only one line that amused me....

 

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/20621040/buddhist-monk-scam-warning/

 

Conmen masquerading as Buddhist monks are attempting to scam Perth shoppers of their cash in return for worthless prayer beads, amulets or spiritual guidebooks.

 

As opposed to all those incredibly useful and valuable prayer beads, amulets and "spiritual guidebooks"

Or it could be Buddhist monks posing as conmen. What is the difference? I would not buy from either.

[separator]

Naked Aussie stuck in a washing machine.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-25618683

[Webbo]

 

It’s Official: Hell Has Frozen Over

 

In news certain to have scorned suitors everywhere dousing themselves in cologne, Hell has officially frozen over — the tiny hamlet in Michigan, that is.

 

Around 600 nearby residents have been blighted by deep snow caused by the polar vortex now affecting the U.S. Temperatures have plummeted to -20C, even dropping to -33C when taking wind-chill into account, with many vehicles left stranded.

 

Several cities in the northern U.S. have been rendered virtually uninhabitable by the current extreme cold spell. Residents have been urged to stock up on supplies and stay in their homes.

 

The town of Hell is situated 60 miles west of Detroit, and received its chthonic moniker on Oct. 13, 1841. Derek Wallbank, U.S. House reporter for Bloomberg News, tweeted news of its incongruous weather on Tuesday.

 

[bovril]

 

Great news! Guess that means Messi's on his way to City.

[purpleronnie]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2535327/Cold-reception-outside-Polar-vortex-drives-escaped-prison-inmate-turn-suffering-frostbite.html

 

An inmate who escaped from a Kentucky prison on Sunday spent just one night on the outside before turning himself in because he was so cold.

Wind chills plunged the temperature in Lexington to 20 below zero after Robert Vick, 42, walked away from a six-year sentence at the minimum security Blackburn Correctional Complex on Sunday.

When he came running back on Monday it was with frostbite and a burning desire to get out of the arctic cold.

Before he turned himself in, Vick first tried to seek help at a motel not far from the prison.

He happened to knock on Victoria Fugate's door at the Sunset Motel.

'He was hungry. The dude knocked on our door, we gave him a ham and cheese sandwich, we gave him some hot chocolate,' Fugate told

Vick apparently spent the night in a nearby abandoned farmhouse, where life on the outside proved to be too much.

'The next thing you know,' Fugate said, 'they are arresting him, he's frostbit

 

 

[Rincewind]

Great news! Guess that means Messi's on his way to City.

https://audioboo.fm/boos/1837894-hell-has-frozen-over

[ozleicester]

Fantastic.. you'd sh!t yself....

 

http://www.couriermail.com.au/questnews/east/snake-in-toilet-bowl-monty-poothon-chris-baines/story-fni9r0lo-1226798264272

 

Best line....

 

“It was about 11.30pm when Chris went to the bathroom, we had both used it an hour before and there was nothing there so it was a complete shock,†Mrs Baines said.

“When he lifted the lid he screamed out “holy s**t, come and look at this†and I said no way, not until you tell me what it is.’’

[Webbo]

Does anybody know these?

 

Midlands couple who booked 'bargain' £800 flights to the Caribbean are turned away at airport because their ticket was actually from Birmingham in Alabama

 

 

Kevin Jones, 55, from Glenfield, Leicester, booked tickets for just £800

But they were from Birmingham-Shuttlesworth Airport, 4,000 miles away

He said: 'We had no choice but to get our car and drive home'

 

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2537961/Couple-booked-bargain-flight-Birmingham-Caribbean-turned-away-ALABAMA.html

[Guest MattP]

Does anybody know these?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2537961/Couple-booked-bargain-flight-Birmingham-Caribbean-turned-away-ALABAMA.html

Yes mate I speak to them both every week in my local.

Know the guy who sold the story as well to say Kev isn't happy with him is an understatement!

Feel for him as he has been made out to be the bad guy, she was the one who booked the tickets! !

They have picked a picture off his Facebook page that makes him look dumb as anything as well, he's actually a very bright bloke!

The Sun are paying for a holiday to Trinidad for them though.

[Guest MattP]

The quote is bullshit as well, they booked a flight to Benidorm at the airport and went straight away.

[cambridgefox]

Yes mate I speak to them both every week in my local.

Know the guy who sold the story as well to say Kev isn't happy with him is an understatement!

Feel for him as he has been made out to be the bad guy, she was the one who booked the tickets! !

They have picked a picture off his Facebook page that makes him look dumb as anything as well, he's actually a very bright bloke!

The Sun are paying for a holiday to Trinidad for them though.

  

The quote is bullshit as well, they booked a flight to Benidorm at the airport and went straight away.

a Just shows what the papers do to get a story and some so called mates do to get some cash.

[RobHawk]

Yes mate I speak to them both every week in my local.

Know the guy who sold the story as well to say Kev isn't happy with him is an understatement!

Feel for him as he has been made out to be the bad guy, she was the one who booked the tickets! !

They have picked a picture off his Facebook page that makes him look dumb as anything as well, he's actually a very bright bloke!

The Sun are paying for a holiday to Trinidad for them though.

 

 

The quote is bullshit as well, they booked a flight to Benidorm at the airport and went straight away.

 

Still absolutely moronic! 

[Alf Bentley]

  a Just shows what the papers do to get a story and some so called mates do to get some cash.

 

I wonder if the papers do any checks on stories like this? If the first this couple knew about their "mate" selling the story was when it appeared in the paper, what checks could the paper have done, short of contacting the airline to confirm the booking (and the airline would probably have refused to reveal the info)? The "mate" wouldn't have had any documentary evidence, surely...

 

So, what's to stop any of us getting our heads together and contacting the papers with some amusing but fabricated story?

 

I could ask the paper for a few quid for a story that you once applied to Cambridge College, Massachusetts, thinking it was Cambridge University; you confirm the story and we divvy up the proceeds....or you tell the paper that a squirrel ate my burger at the match; I confirm, the paper gets an amusing "Squirrel eats Fox burger" headline and we get a few quid....

[Guest MattP]

I wonder if the papers do any checks on stories like this? If the first this couple knew about their "mate" selling the story was when it appeared in the paper, what checks could the paper have done, short of contacting the airline to confirm the booking (and the airline would probably have refused to reveal the info)? The "mate" wouldn't have had any documentary evidence, surely...

 

So, what's to stop any of us getting our heads together and contacting the papers with some amusing but fabricated story?

 

I could ask the paper for a few quid for a story that you once applied to Cambridge College, Massachusetts, thinking it was Cambridge University; you confirm the story and we divvy up the proceeds....or you tell the paper that a squirrel ate my burger at the match; I confirm, the paper gets an amusing "Squirrel eats Fox burger" headline and we get a few quid....

 

They had to ring Kev before the story was printed, I'll speak to Kev when he gets back about what they said/asked etc because no way would he have allowed them to print that had he seen what they were going to put.

 

They have clearly just lifted the picture of him from his facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/kevin.jones.39904?fref=ts

Edited 13 January 2014 by MattP

[Alf Bentley]

They had to ring Kev before the story was printed, I'll speak to Kev when he gets back about what they said/asked etc because no way would he have allowed them to print that had he seen what they were going to put.

 

They have clearly just lifted the picture of him from his facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/kevin.jones.39904?fref=ts

 

I presumed that they contacted him to confirm the basic story. Otherwise, it might have been a complete hoax and they might have ended up in court. I suppose that they just confirm the basics, fabricate a few quotes and gamble (correctly) that people won't have the inclination or the evidence to sue them, unless they've recorded the conversation.

 

I'm not suggesting there was any collusion in this case, but it seems like it would be perfectly easy for a couple of friends to get their heads together, one sells an "amusing" story about the other to the papers, the second friend confirms it and they share the proceeds. We've already seen how papers sometimes lift fake stories about football transfers from internet forums...

[Guest MattP]

I'll ask him when he gets back.

 

No collusion at all in this one, feel for Jeanette as she hasnt seen her Mum for ages and was really looking forward to the holiday.

 

You are probably right though, if you wanted to it wouldnt be too hard to put a story together. I'll let you know how much the other lad got for the story as well.

[Guest MattP]

Quick update, spoke to them both Sunday, no one has really took the piss but obviously they are embarrassed.

 

Lad who sold the story has got £100, Kev not happy with him and will sort him out soon enough, wants him to donate the money to charity.

[Darkon84]

I wonder if the papers do any checks on stories like this? If the first this couple knew about their "mate" selling the story was when it appeared in the paper, what checks could the paper have done, short of contacting the airline to confirm the booking (and the airline would probably have refused to reveal the info)? The "mate" wouldn't have had any documentary evidence, surely...

 

So, what's to stop any of us getting our heads together and contacting the papers with some amusing but fabricated story?

 

I could ask the paper for a few quid for a story that you once applied to Cambridge College, Massachusetts, thinking it was Cambridge University; you confirm the story and we divvy up the proceeds....or you tell the paper that a squirrel ate my burger at the match; I confirm, the paper gets an amusing "Squirrel eats Fox burger" headline and we get a few quid....

 

It's easier than you may think. A few years ago, when there were sightings of 'killer' Siberian Chipmunks around, a friend managed to get half a page in The Sun, about one attempting to attack him and his dog, out over the fields. Needless to say, it wasn't true at all, and it was just for a bit of a drunken laugh to see how easy it would be to get a story in a national paper. The Sun were more than happy to interview over the phone etc and publish the story.

[orangecity23]

I wonder if the papers do any checks on stories like this? If the first this couple knew about their "mate" selling the story was when it appeared in the paper, what checks could the paper have done, short of contacting the airline to confirm the booking (and the airline would probably have refused to reveal the info)? The "mate" wouldn't have had any documentary evidence, surely...

 

So, what's to stop any of us getting our heads together and contacting the papers with some amusing but fabricated story?

 

I could ask the paper for a few quid for a story that you once applied to Cambridge College, Massachusetts, thinking it was Cambridge University; you confirm the story and we divvy up the proceeds....or you tell the paper that a squirrel ate my burger at the match; I confirm, the paper gets an amusing "Squirrel eats Fox burger" headline and we get a few quid....

 

Didn't that actually happen on here a few years ago, I seem to recall someone from here fabricating an "Elvis Hammond to move to Real Majorca" rumour that ended up in the Sunday People. Although, nobody got paid, I think the journos just lifted it off of Football Rumours.

[Rincewind]

It is also how politics work. The Government in power gives the press a story. The press prints it. The public believes it. The MP's are happy.

[Guest]

It is also how politics work. The Government in power gives the press a story. The press prints it. The public believes it. The MP's are happy.

Yeah cos all the UKs media is simply a spin machine for politicians. Jesus Christ give your conspiracy theories a rest eh?

Edited 22 January 2014 by Guest