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Daggers

What grinds my gears...

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Parafox

Parafox

Posted
Posted

Adverts are generally shite. The one that annoys me most is the trebor soft mints ad - woman leaving her boyfriend because he bought her soft mints, not hard mints, for her birthday rather than because he bought a pack of ****ing mints for his other halfs birthday.

 

I think that's a euphemism. She wanted hard, he couldn't get hard.

 

 

Even for her birthday... ;)

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Guest MattP

Guest MattP

Posted
Posted

Can you have a homeless elephant?

 

Homeless doesn't always mean homeless, it can mean an elephant who has mental issues, one who doesn't have a permanent address, a family of elephants can be homeless, a elephant struggling for water could also be classed as that, some don't know where to go, some don't get the help they need.

 

All elephants are homeless, all elephants are us, I am an elephant.

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted

I am an elephant.

 

 

I know we could both do with losing a few pounds, Matt, but don't be too hard on yourself.

 

Actually, I went to my GP this morning and, after getting me to pull down my trousers, she weighed me - and I've lost 11lb since stopping the booze in May.

I'm down to 26st 5lb now.

 

Cholesterol has soared, which is a bit bizarre - I thought alcohol caused cholesterol issues? 

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AKCJ

AKCJ

Posted
Posted

People that rush about and need stuff doing (that there is no rush for) at work right at the very second they ask for it.

 

 

"Well it's not until November but I need it asap".

 

 

Please. **** off, i'm on FoxesTalk.


I know we could both do with losing a few pounds, Matt, but don't be too hard on yourself.

 

Actually, I went to my GP this morning and, after getting me to pull down my trousers, she weighed me - and I've lost 11lb since stopping the booze in May.

I'm down to 26st 5lb now.

 

Cholesterol has soared, which is a bit bizarre - I thought alcohol caused cholesterol issues? 

 

 

Good on you mate :thumbup:

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Guest MattP

Guest MattP

Posted
Posted

I know we could both do with losing a few pounds, Matt, but don't be too hard on yourself.

 

Actually, I went to my GP this morning and, after getting me to pull down my trousers, she weighed me - and I've lost 11lb since stopping the booze in May.

I'm down to 26st 5lb now.

 

Cholesterol has soared, which is a bit bizarre - I thought alcohol caused cholesterol issues? 

 

lol I presume you mean 16.5?! No way were you 26 stone.

 

Nearly a stone off in a few months is scandalous really, I still have no idea how I only weigh 16, all I do is drink and eat, I love it too much to stop.

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AKCJ

AKCJ

Posted
Posted

lol I presume you mean 16.5?! No way were you 26 stone.

 

Nearly a stone off in a few months is scandalous really, I still have no idea how I only weigh 16, all I do is drink and eat, I love it too much to stop.

 

 

I weigh 15, I drink and eat no end but walk everywhere and play football twice a week.

 

I'm sure I could lose a lot if I packed decent food and drinks in for a bit but **** that?

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
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lol I presume you mean 16.5?! No way were you 26 stone.

 

Nearly a stone off in a few months is scandalous really, I still have no idea how I only weigh 16, all I do is drink and eat, I love it too much to stop.

 

 

Pathetic attempt at humour on my part. I'm actually down from 14st 13lb to 14st 2lb. Not sure if I ever made it over 15st, but probably did.

 

You're a couple of inches taller than me, so 16st is fair enough for a well-built lad who likes his grub and pints. Mind you, I was only about 12.5st in my thirties, so you'll probably be knocking 20st when you hit my age!  lol

 

I knew that I'd lost a bit of weight, but was amazed that it was as much as 11lb. I've not changed my diet or taken much exercise, apart from a couple of 1-day walks....

 

Just shows what booze does to you... as well as giving you a lot of pleasure, of course. I'd have never stopped it, except on health advice - and fully intend to take it up again when I'm too old to care any more. 

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Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo

Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo

Posted
Posted

The worst things on Facebook are the bullshit random pictures with background "stories". 

 

Screen-Shot-2013-08-15-at-9.49.01-PM.png

 

This man quit his job the give a homeless elephant biscuits every day because no-one else would. We need more people like this. 

 

 

Oh man I hate those things. The worst I ever came across was some bullshit story (no sources, no photos or anything) that basically said "A man was out on his motorcycle with his girlfriend on the back. His girlfriend didn't want to wear a helmet but he always wore his. They were travelling down the highway when the breaks failed on the motorcycle. The man took off his helmet and put it on his girlfriend's head just before they crashed and in doing so, gave his life up so he could save his girlfriend's. The man is a hero, share this story to others to remember the heroic biker"

 

 

Few questions -

 

1) How long must this "crash" have been imminent if he had time to take a helmet off, turn around and fit it to his girlfriend and sort the strap out? At any sort of fatal speed, this would be nigh on impossible (probably distracting enough to cause a fatal crash) and would take a good few seconds, by which time the bike would already be losing speed and they'd be better off just bailing off the motorcycle and dealing with road rash injuries

 

2) This supposed "hero" took his girlfriend out on a motorcycle that was so poorly maintained that both the front and back brakes could both fail instantly. This is unheard of, and would take a massively irresponsible idiot to use the motorcycle in this state at all, let alone carry a passenger

 

3) Who is telling this story? The rider, had enough time to not only take his helmet off, fit it to his girlfriend and explain

"Bit of bad news, love - the brakes have failed. You wear this helmet while I take the full force of this collision we're about to have"

 

(girlfriend) - "what, all the brakes have failed? For fvcks sake. Okay yeah give me the helmet. Hang on, couldn't you just tip the bike on its side and we slide to a stop"

 

(biker) - "no that won't make a very heartbreaking story. You just let me guide this unstoppable motorcycle into this collision half a mile down the road"

 

(girlfriend) - "I've just explained, it is stoppable! Just throw it on its side and we'll slide. It'll hurt but it probably won't kill either of us"

 

(biker) - "look woman, I need to be remembered for this. You just worry about surviving, and I'll take care of the crash."

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