What grinds my gears...

[ScouseFox]

the thing i miss about a standard office is the level of stupidity. we talk 99% about sport and betting so we miss the hilarious office comments about politics, usually taken off someone's facebook or some weird link they find in an email from "sue from downstairs" about nigel farage and childhood obesity. man they were good times. 

[Webbo]

No. She's a massive over-opinionated shitbag with a complete lack of understanding of politics (that doesn't deter her from spouting her useless views off all day), always has to have the last say in any sort of debate. She's a hypocrite, claiming she doesn't trust any mainstream media yet she'll happily cherry-pick whatever headlines put down the Conservatives any day of the week. She's hugely into conspiracy bullshit and goes on about vaccines killing people all the time and how there's no way we ever landed on the moon and how the FBI invented ISIS and all that other garbage. You can't say anything though as she just gets louder and louder and is best buddies with the boss so will get away with it.

 

She also spends 30 minutes every morning eating porridge and the rest of the time is usually chatting with people in another office, making private phone calls or playing on her phone. I hate her more than anyone else I've ever met and it's really making me want to leave this shitty job

Thank God there's no one like that on here.

[MooseBreath]

Sounds like the Rincey wincey wife ken has always wanted

Set them up on a blind date Shabadoo

Edited 24 November 2015 by MooseBreath

[AKCJ]

No. She's a massive over-opinionated shitbag with a complete lack of understanding of politics (that doesn't deter her from spouting her useless views off all day), always has to have the last say in any sort of debate. She's a hypocrite, claiming she doesn't trust any mainstream media yet she'll happily cherry-pick whatever headlines put down the Conservatives any day of the week. She's hugely into conspiracy bullshit and goes on about vaccines killing people all the time and how there's no way we ever landed on the moon and how the FBI invented ISIS and all that other garbage. You can't say anything though as she just gets louder and louder and is best buddies with the boss so will get away with it.

 

She also spends 30 minutes every morning eating porridge and the rest of the time is usually chatting with people in another office, making private phone calls or playing on her phone. I hate her more than anyone else I've ever met and it's really making me want to leave this shitty job

There is one of those in every single office in the country.

The biffa two desks from me regularly goes on about how she's started the ****ing weightwatchers diet. I've been in the job for about 9 months and she's started that diet approximately 24 times.

[Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo]

There is one of those in every single office in the country.

The biffa two desks from me regularly goes on about how she's started the ****ing weightwatchers diet. I've been in the job for about 9 months and she's started that diet approximately 24 times.

Oh yeah she eats carrots and stuff but she's been fat in all the 10 years I've worked there, obviously doesn't eat that well at home. Always going on about how she needs to lose a stone before she goes on holiday in February.

A) you said that last year and you shifted fvck all

B) losing one stone would be unnoticeable. I'd say 4 stone to lose at least

[AKCJ]

Trouble with the one I work with is that she eats stuff like weight watchers double choc chip brownies with weight watchers ice cream. Then also has a kit kat chunky every day as a treat for 'doing so well'.

****. Off.

Also the camp lad who says stuff like 'you go gurl' when she mentioned that she's lost a few pounds since May.

[Darkon84]

Oh yeah she eats carrots and stuff but she's been fat in all the 10 years I've worked there, obviously doesn't eat that well at home. Always going on about how she needs to lose a stone before she goes on holiday in February.

A) you said that last year and you shifted fvck all

B) losing one stone would be unnoticeable. I'd say 4 stone to lose at least

 

 

One of the best ones I've had in the office was from someone going on a supposed carb and beer free diet to shift some weight. When asked what they eat instead of the bread, crisps etc and beer, the response was chocolate and jack daniels with coke. Ahhhh I see, ditch the carbs but  add extra sugar....spectacular!

[Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo]

Trouble with the one I work with is that she eats stuff like weight watchers double choc chip brownies with weight watchers ice cream. Then also has a kit kat chunky every day as a treat for 'doing so well'.

****. Off.

Also the camp lad who says stuff like 'you go gurl' when she mentioned that she's lost a few pounds since May.

 

FFS that sounds like a double act I'd like to incinerate. When I made a push to lose weight (starting at 14 stone) it took me 4 days to lose a stone, and 2 weeks to lose 2 stone, probably about another month to lose the third stone. I cycled 15 miles per evening and halved my portion sizes, it's simple. When you get a stupid fat woman "trying" as you say, they'll eat the diet versions of shit they usually eat, and then treat themselves every day. Wait till you hit a milestone, then have a treat. A milestone isn't "made it 24 hours without eating 8 Mars bars"

[Nalis]

Most office have the fat opinionated middle aged woman dont they?

My old place was full of them, saying bollocks like 'I took the stairs this morning' whilst stuffing their face full of Pickled Onion Monster Munch. Yes, well done love, a whole 11 fvcking steps, why dont treat yourself to some office doughnuts, you deserve them girlfriend!

[StanSP]

Most office have the fat opinionated middle aged woman dont they?

My old place was full of them, saying bollocks like 'I took the stairs this morning' whilst stuffing their face full of Pickled Onion Monster Munch. Yes, well done love, a whole 11 fvcking steps, why dont treat yourself to some office doughnuts, you deserve them girlfriend!

 

nah but we've got a new temp in and he's being a right awkward bastard. tries to lecture me on the Pearson situation and comes up with random stuff, unprompted like 'cambiasso was good for you guys last season' or 'so what do you think of Blatter and Platini'. i'm like mate i'm on the phone stop talking to me.

[Saxondale]

Oh yeah she eats carrots and stuff but she's been fat in all the 10 years I've worked there, obviously doesn't eat that well at home. Always going on about how she needs to lose a stone before she goes on holiday in February.

A) you said that last year and you shifted fvck all

B) losing one stone would be unnoticeable. I'd say 4 stone to lose at least

That's basically every woman in every office in the country.

Constantly on a diet; constantly eating biscuits.

[Unabomber]

Constantly "treating themselves"

[Carl the Llama]

Too right.  I didn't eat any pizza at all today so I just treated myself to a pizza with fish fingers on it.

[Mike Oxlong]

They need to keep clean sheets to get pizza.

Fat chance of that when they don't stop scoffing, even in bed.

[Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo]

Yep. I used to share an office with two other lads and one also being a City fan we could chat about the football or music or whatever but actually get some work done. I hardly ever had to deal with this woman at all but then the department in charge of us decided it'd be a good idea to merge our two offices together and now I have no enjoyable conversations cause she has to fvcking join in. You mention football and after a few seconds she'll do a big exaggerated yawn (because no one could possibly be interested in football could they) and she also decides occasionally to put some of her shit 80's cheese music on the speakers. I have to put my headphones in and pretty loud so I can get some work done, I once missed a phone call as a result and she had a go at me. Never been so close to knocking out a woman before, had to stop myself from launching a stapler at her. That would have been the stuff dreams are made of

I get on well with my actual boss but I know if I ever tried to make a formal complaint he'd just tell me to try and resolve our differences with a conversation but it's getting beyond a joke now. I know of two others in my office that can't stand her, she's a twat and without wishing anything bad on her I kind of hope she loses her footing on her stairs tomorrow and can't possibly leave the house ever again. It'd be for the best

[ScouseFox]

you should probs chat to her tell her how you feel maybe she will understand and try and improve your relationship

[leicsmac]

Anyone else thinking Jules is going on about this lady a bit too much and a bit too vociferously?

 

*cough*Wantsago*cough*

[Guest]

Anyone else thinking Jules is going on about this lady a bit too much and a bit too vociferously?

 

*cough*Wantsago*cough*

 

Sounds more like he wants to Double Deck-er! 

[Buce]

you should probs chat to her tell her how you feel maybe she will understand and try and improve your relationship

That's so gay.

[Merging Cultures]

People looking for sympathy on open social media groups that are basically full of strangers and getting pissed off when they receive logic and facts.

[AndWhat?]

Having to give money for a birthday whip around for the MD of the company who's probably on 10 times what I am. 

[AKCJ]

Having to give money for a birthday whip around for the MD of the company who's probably on 10 times what I am. 

 

 

****ing this.

[Nalis]

To link loosely on something Shabadoo said, people who are very vocal about hating football and why.

Its the usual comments about earning 100k a week just to kick a ball about and to dive like pansies at the slightest touch whilst ignoring the fact that its the market rate and how much people are willing to pay regardless of how fair they're pay is.

Its usually from people who feel that the world owes them one and havent quite grasped the concept.

[bovril]

Having to give money for a birthday whip around for the MD of the company who's probably on 10 times what I am.

It's a birthday ffs!

[Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo]

To link loosely on something Shabadoo said, people who are very vocal about hating football and why.

Its the usual comments about earning 100k a week just to kick a ball about and to dive like pansies at the slightest touch whilst ignoring the fact that its the market rate and how much people are willing to pay regardless of how fair they're pay is.

Its usually from people who feel that the world owes them one and havent quite grasped the concept.

 

Yep. No one argues against the fact that some players are overpaid, but some people fail to realise that high-demand players earn big money because out of the millions of people in the world that play football, they are the select few that can play to that level consistently. Billions around the world enjoy football hence why there's so much money in it. It's supply and demand isn't it? Like when a huge band goes on tour they can charge £200 a ticket

 

"But I can go to open mic night for £2" - yes because no one wants to go to that, you stupid idiot

 

 

Having to give money for a birthday whip around for the MD of the company who's probably on 10 times what I am. 

 

Oh god yes. The general birthday kitty in our office is about £10 per birthday, you tend to put £1 in. Someone put forward a birthday idea for our boss that was £300, so I put 80p in.