What grinds my gears...

[tom27111]

4 minutes ago, Voll Blau said:

The two women in the party had been discussing their respective experiences of birth before turning to Dahmer. If it had been an average carvery I wouldn't have been so wound up, but this gaff does a quality roast.

I'm not even being sarcastic now, I'd have walked out over hearing about childbirth 

 

Would've put me right off my roast pork.

 

I've witnessed 2 child births and there is no place for that in a carvery.

 

 

[SpacedX]

1 minute ago, tom27111 said:

 I'd have walked out 

 

And no doubt come back again. 

[tom27111]

1 minute ago, Line-X said:

And no doubt come back again. 

A few weeks later 

[kingkisnorbo]

Two things. 
 

1. Darren Fletcher on BT Sport. Unbearable. 
2. Commentators falling over themselves to go on about how long James Milner has been playing. Fvck off. 

[Corky]

1 minute ago, kingkisnorbo said:

Two things. 
 

1. Darren Fletcher on BT Sport. Unbearable. 
2. Commentators falling over themselves to go on about how long James Milner has been playing. Fvck off. 

"Fletch" is a poor commentator. Can tell he's from a radio past as he wants to fill every second with whatever when he doesn't need to with pictures available.

[RonnieTodger]

Aitch and Ed Sheeran individually make my skin scrawl. No surprise that their collaboration is an abomination. 

[Parafox]

On 09/10/2022 at 22:00, tom27111 said:

I'm not even being sarcastic now, I'd have walked out over hearing about childbirth 

 

Would've put me right off my roast pork.

 

I've witnessed 2 child births and there is no place for that in a carvery.

 

 

I've delivered several babies. it's not a pleasant experience in terms of the (literal) shite and blood involved. However, the act of bringing a new life into the world far exceeds the unpleasantness of the process.

That first cry and giving a newborn to mum to hold for the first time is priceless.

Kinda special for me as I couldn't experience that moment with my own 2 girls, who we adopted. 

Edited 13 October 2022 by Parafox

[Izzy]

32 minutes ago, Parafox said:

I've delivered several babies. it's not a pleasant experience in terms of the (literal) shite and blood involved. However, the act of bringing a new life into the world far exceeds the unpleasantness of the process.

That first cry and giving a newborn to mum to hold for the first time is priceless.

Kinda special for me as I couldn't experience that moment with my own 2 girls, who we adopted. 

16 years on and I still can't get the image out of my mind of the wife shitting herself when pushing our first out.

 

Something you just can't 'unsee' and has haunted me ever since.

[tom27111]

2 hours ago, Izzy said:

16 years on and I still can't get the image out of my mind of the wife shitting herself when pushing our first out.

 

Something you just can't 'unsee' and has haunted me ever since.

Well this is a conversation for our next round of golf 

[tom27111]

2 hours ago, Parafox said:

I've delivered several babies. it's not a pleasant experience in terms of the (literal) shite and blood involved. However, the act of bringing a new life into the world far exceeds the unpleasantness of the process.

That first cry and giving a newborn to mum to hold for the first time is priceless.

Kinda special for me as I couldn't experience that moment with my own 2 girls, who we adopted. 

Couldn't agree more mate, and massive respect for you to be part of delivering babies.

 

As work goes, there's probably not a lot that's more satisfying than that.

 

You, and your colleagues, do a hell of a job and should always be appreciated and celebrated, you literally walk in to any situation, including very dangerous ones.

 

I'm so squeamish and wouldn't be able to do it. I can't watch Casualty when I'm eating my dinner.

 

It isn't the kind of thing I want to hear about when I'm slathering horse radish on my Sunday dinner 

 

When I was born, my dad got kicked out of the maternity suite, he passed out and the midwife said "I've already got one patient, I don't need another" 

 

And on my first experience of it, a wonderful Israeli midwife slapped me around the face and told me to "Man Up" 

 

She admitted afterwards that there was an extraordinary amount of blood that isn't usually seen.

[tom27111]

This is incredibly niche and I'm aware of that...

 

Most of you know I deliver for Amazon...again.

 

If you order something expensive, or lie and say your parcels have been stolen enough, you have to give me a 6 digit passcode to allow me to release the parcel.

 

People, when you order it, they tell you you'll need the passcode and tell you it.

 

When I'm fvcking flying and on a roll, due to finish in a record time, DO NOT say "oh, I didn't know...where do I find that?"

 

Or even worse..."He's at work, I'll call him"

 

We have between 160 and 180 drops a day, please don't be the cvnt that keeps me from getting home to my family. 

 

You aren't special. And if you keep me too long, I will just walk off.

 

And breathe....

Edited 13 October 2022 by tom27111

[Mike Oxlong]

4 hours ago, Izzy said:

16 years on and I still can't get the image out of my mind of the wife shitting herself when pushing our first out.

 

Something you just can't 'unsee' and has haunted me ever since.

Don’t let it get to you mate. In a few years it’ll just be part of her normal nighttime sleep cycle 

[tom27111]

And also, while I'm at it...

 

If we deliver alcohol, or something bladed, we have to hand it to someone over 18 years old, like you would in a shop. 

 

Don't be a smart arse, I just need the YEAR you were born.

 

Don't look at me like I'm an alien, don't act shocked (WHEN YOU ORDER IT, IT ****ING TELLS YOU!!!!!), Don't say "oh, do I really have to, I'm a lady" and dint just refuse. If you do, then go fvck yourself, it's back to the depot. 

 

Do you know why Amazon HAVE to do this?....

 

A teenage boy was bullied in Scotland. He had enough. He ordered a knife off Amazon (because he wouldn't have been allowed to buy one in a shop), he then went in to school the next day, with his big shiny knife and murdered 2 people. 

 

So the government and Amazon had to make an agreement for Amazon to keep selling shit.

 

And I guarantee that you aren't the funniest person I've deliver to. Just get on with it.

 

Yes, I've had a shit day. But Please, please, please, don't be thay dickhead.

 

Be the cool guy. There are plenty of them too. 

 

Call me "mate", offer me a drink, be at the door if you see me coming (that's not weird, we love it, saves us time), tell me my grey hair looks distinguished and it's better than going bald at 26...

 

Let us pull out at a junction, instead of cutting us up.

 

Anything!!!! We're just trying ro do a job.

 

And don't moan if we park badly for 45 seconds. 

 

Everyone wants shit delivered, but they don't want to put up with accommodating a van. GROW THE **** UP.

 

I'm so sorry I blocked you're driveway when there's nowhere within 500m of your property, but you wanted little Shantay's Halloween costume delivered to your door?

 

Fvck off. 

 

I'm actually quite nice in real life and don't mind my job 

 

 

[Beliall]

10 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

And also, while I'm at it...

 

If we deliver alcohol, or something bladed, we have to hand it to someone over 18 years old, like you would in a shop. 

 

Don't be a smart arse, I just need the YEAR you were born.

 

Don't look at me like I'm an alien, don't act shocked (WHEN YOU ORDER IT, IT ****ING TELLS YOU!!!!!), Don't say "oh, do I really have to, I'm a lady" and dint just refuse. If you do, then go fvck yourself, it's back to the depot. 

 

Do you know why Amazon HAVE to do this?....

 

A teenage boy was bullied in Scotland. He had enough. He ordered a knife off Amazon (because he wouldn't have been allowed to buy one in a shop), he then went in to school the next day, with his big shiny knife and murdered 2 people. 

 

So the government and Amazon had to make an agreement for Amazon to keep selling shit.

 

And I guarantee that you aren't the funniest person I've deliver to. Just get on with it.

 

Yes, I've had a shit day. But Please, please, please, don't be thay dickhead.

 

Be the cool guy. There are plenty of them too. 

 

Call me "mate", offer me a drink, be at the door if you see me coming (that's not weird, we love it, saves us time), tell me my grey hair looks distinguished and it's better than going bald at 26...

 

Let us pull out at a junction, instead of cutting us up.

 

Anything!!!! We're just trying ro do a job.

 

And don't moan if we park badly for 45 seconds. 

 

Everyone wants shit delivered, but they don't want to put up with accommodating a van. GROW THE **** UP.

 

I'm so sorry I blocked you're driveway when there's nowhere within 500m of your property, but you wanted little Shantay's Halloween costume delivered to your door?

 

Fvck off. 

 

I'm actually quite nice in real life and don't mind my job 

 

 

but apart from all that you love your job

[tom27111]

5 minutes ago, Beliall said:

but apart from all that you love your job

Oh, there's more!

 

Bad day today, that's all.

 

I should add, if you say you're safe place is the back garden....LEAVE YOUR BASTARD GATE UNLOCKED!

 

And, if you say your safe place is behind the wheeie bin, that's cool. But, if like today, at 1 house, dont order 16 parcels and not be home.

 

Technically, they were behind the bin and I have a photo to prove it 

[Parafox]

18 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

And also, while I'm at it...

 

If we deliver alcohol, or something bladed, we have to hand it to someone over 18 years old, like you would in a shop. 

 

Don't be a smart arse, I just need the YEAR you were born.

 

Don't look at me like I'm an alien, don't act shocked (WHEN YOU ORDER IT, IT ****ING TELLS YOU!!!!!), Don't say "oh, do I really have to, I'm a lady" and dint just refuse. If you do, then go fvck yourself, it's back to the depot. 

 

Do you know why Amazon HAVE to do this?....

 

A teenage boy was bullied in Scotland. He had enough. He ordered a knife off Amazon (because he wouldn't have been allowed to buy one in a shop), he then went in to school the next day, with his big shiny knife and murdered 2 people. 

 

So the government and Amazon had to make an agreement for Amazon to keep selling shit.

 

And I guarantee that you aren't the funniest person I've deliver to. Just get on with it.

 

Yes, I've had a shit day. But Please, please, please, don't be thay dickhead.

 

Be the cool guy. There are plenty of them too. 

 

Call me "mate", offer me a drink, be at the door if you see me coming (that's not weird, we love it, saves us time), tell me my grey hair looks distinguished and it's better than going bald at 26...

 

Let us pull out at a junction, instead of cutting us up.

 

Anything!!!! We're just trying ro do a job.

 

And don't moan if we park badly for 45 seconds. 

 

Everyone wants shit delivered, but they don't want to put up with accommodating a van. GROW THE **** UP.

 

I'm so sorry I blocked you're driveway when there's nowhere within 500m of your property, but you wanted little Shantay's Halloween costume delivered to your door?

 

Fvck off. 

 

I'm actually quite nice in real life and don't mind my job 

 

 

I get pissed off by all these "independent" delivery drivers in unmarked vans "stopping and dropping". They really do give the Amazon (I hesitate to say "drivers" because you're more than that) a bad rep. 

[tom27111]

Most importantly, and I cannot stress this enough....

 

Yeah, of course I want to stroke your dog.

 

Dogs are amazing. I want to stay and pet that bastard for hours 

 

And no, that isn't sarcasm.  Who wouldn't want to pat a dog?

[HybridFox]

People walking in front who randomly stop in the middle of the pavement. Move out the way man!

[Parafox]

4 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

Oh, there's more!

 

Bad day today, that's all.

 

I should add, if you say you're safe place is the back garden....LEAVE YOUR BASTARD GATE UNLOCKED!

 

And, if you say your safe place is behind the wheeie bin, that's cool. But, if like today, at 1 house, dont order 16 parcels and not be home.

 

Technically, they were behind the bin and I have a photo to prove it 

It must be a very frustrating job with little or no direct thanks at the point of delivery. You and your fellow couriers deserve better from the people you serve. I have full respect for what you guys do. It's seen largely as a subservient task that goes undervalued, but without you and your colleagues, we'd be ****ed. 

Thank you for what you do. I for one, appreciate it greatly.

[Beliall]

14 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

Oh, there's more!

 

Bad day today, that's all.

 

I should add, if you say you're safe place is the back garden....LEAVE YOUR BASTARD GATE UNLOCKED!

 

And, if you say your safe place is behind the wheeie bin, that's cool. But, if like today, at 1 house, dont order 16 parcels and not be home.

 

Technically, they were behind the bin and I have a photo to prove it 

can i add one for us customers? 

when you say you're 1 stop away and down the road, dont go an pick up 30 more parcels and change it to 31 stops. 

[Countryfox]

Top ranting lads ! ..  but I think all this talk of blood sh1te and afterbirth needs an 18 certificate ..  urghhh.  
 

Looking forward to my breakfast though ..    honest !    ..    

[Parafox]

10 hours ago, tom27111 said:

And also, while I'm at it...

 

If we deliver alcohol, or something bladed, we have to hand it to someone over 18 years old, like you would in a shop. 

 

Don't be a smart arse, I just need the YEAR you were born.

 

Don't look at me like I'm an alien, don't act shocked (WHEN YOU ORDER IT, IT ****ING TELLS YOU!!!!!), Don't say "oh, do I really have to, I'm a lady" and dint just refuse. If you do, then go fvck yourself, it's back to the depot. 

 

Do you know why Amazon HAVE to do this?....

 

A teenage boy was bullied in Scotland. He had enough. He ordered a knife off Amazon (because he wouldn't have been allowed to buy one in a shop), he then went in to school the next day, with his big shiny knife and murdered 2 people. 

 

So the government and Amazon had to make an agreement for Amazon to keep selling shit.

 

And I guarantee that you aren't the funniest person I've deliver to. Just get on with it.

 

Yes, I've had a shit day. But Please, please, please, don't be thay dickhead.

 

Be the cool guy. There are plenty of them too. 

 

Call me "mate", offer me a drink, be at the door if you see me coming (that's not weird, we love it, saves us time), tell me my grey hair looks distinguished and it's better than going bald at 26...

 

Let us pull out at a junction, instead of cutting us up.

 

Anything!!!! We're just trying ro do a job.

 

And don't moan if we park badly for 45 seconds. 

 

Everyone wants shit delivered, but they don't want to put up with accommodating a van. GROW THE **** UP.

 

I'm so sorry I blocked you're driveway when there's nowhere within 500m of your property, but you wanted little Shantay's Halloween costume delivered to your door?

 

Fvck off. 

 

I'm actually quite nice in real life and don't mind my job 

 

 

I bet you're fun during the run up to Christmas 

[steve555]

On the subject of parcels & deliverys. Working as a postie, Royal Mail has been doing the customer collect for a while now, so we get the address & turn up to get the parcel from the customer. They obviously need to print the returns label off & stick it to the parcel for us to scan, twice this week I've called for a parcel only to be given a box with no  address on it. When asked were the label is, they said " i haven't got a printer" , so they were quite prepared to give me a box with no address on it . How on earth did they expect it get were it was meant to be going.

[tom27111]

Whilst I've been moaning about customers, I should switch my attention to Amazon.

 

I've mentioned before that rout planning is horrendous. It's actually getting worse.

 

This is a section of my route today.

 

The number corresponds to the order of which you drop your parcels.

 

They sent me down the same cul-de-sac FOUR FVCKING TIMES!!!!

 

It's so frustrating. Yes, I could manually override it, but the problem then is that I'm searching through different bags of parcels, which are packed in order. 

 

Their final mile planning is just atrocious. The time it wastes, not to mention fuel. And customers waiting for stuff, seeing you deliver literally next door and having to wait another hour until I get to them.

 

 

Edited 14 October 2022 by tom27111

[Facecloth]

20 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

Whilst I've been moaning about customers, I should switch my attention to Amazon.

 

I've mentioned before that rout planning is horrendous. It's actually getting worse.

 

This is a section of my route today.

 

The number corresponds to the order of which you drop your parcels.

 

They sent me down the same cul-de-sac FOUR FVCKING TIMES!!!!

 

It's so frustrating. Yes, I could manually override it, but the problem then is that I'm searching through different bags of parcels, which are packed in order. 

 

Their final mile planning is just atrocious. The time it wastes, not to mention fuel. And customers waiting for stuff, seeing you deliver literally next door and having to wait another hour until I get to them.

 

 

There must he some reasoning. Not saying its sound reasoning, but they must do it for some reason surely?