What grinds my gears...

[Daggers]

Doors.

Shut the fùcking door.

I don't care if you were just doing something - if it is a cupboard, a toilet or the front/rear of the house that door was put there for a motherfùcking reason.

[Daggers]

And I've grown to really hate Dalglish's twisted face. Smile you cùnt for fùck sake.

[Trav Le Bleu]

I love the IT Crowd.

[AoWW]

Michael Gove.

[Daggers]

Headteachers and their union.

When will they display some bollocks and institute a non-cooperation approach to Ofsted?

[Rincewind]

My windowbox falling off the window sill just as my herb plants were showing signs of sprouting. There is some soil left in the pots. If I get another 3 I may be able just to add it to the new ones.

Thought it was secure. The sill is slightly sloped so a strong wind blows it off. I had glued it on though.

I do not have green fingers.

[Ozwin]

Night guard you talk a lot.

[The Doctor]

****ing E-bay. Bid on something - sorry, you've been out-bid. Try again and the same thing happens. I look in the bid history, the current highest bid was made 2 days ago and keeps changing every-time I put a new bid in, why is it not showing me what the actual ****ing highest bid is?

[stix]

****ing E-bay. Bid on something - sorry, you've been out-bid. Try again and the same thing happens. I look in the bid history, the current highest bid was made 2 days ago and keeps changing every-time I put a new bid in, why is it not showing me what the actual ****ing highest bid is?

You're joking right?!

[DB11]

****ing E-bay. Bid on something - sorry, you've been out-bid. Try again and the same thing happens. I look in the bid history, the current highest bid was made 2 days ago and keeps changing every-time I put a new bid in, why is it not showing me what the actual ****ing highest bid is?

Cos someone puts a maximum in and eBay keeps rebidding on their behalf.

If it showed you what their maximum was then the seller would create a new account, bid a £1 less than their maximum and so eBay automatically increases the original bidders bid making the seller a lot more money.

[Facecloth]

Planet Earth Live

Billed the best show BBC have done in years. Supposed to be the first of it's kind, a completely unique take on the wildlife show genre. But it's shit. Should have been called "Richard Hammond introduces pre-recorded videos clips from a tent in Kenya - Live"

Edited 6 May 2012 by Facecloth

[Saxondale]

Planet Earth Live

Billed the best show BBC have done in years. Supposed to be the first of it's kind, a completely unique take on the wildlife show genre. But it's shit. Should have been called "Richard Hammond introduces pre-recorded videos clips from a tent in Kenya - Live"

I didn't watch this but I did wonder how it would work.

Given that nature film makers spend months or years filming to get minutes worth of footage, I couldn't see how animals would coincidentally show up and start doing interesting things during a one hour live show.

But you've explained it!

[Rincewind]

I was going to watch it but forgot about it with watching the snooker. It was hyped up a bit.

[Leicfox]

Will some fcuker find that Zipparah Tafari his keys and fcuking phone.

Edited 7 May 2012 by Leicfox

[AoWW]

Finding myself actually watching Bee Movie.

[ScouseFox]

Will some fcuker find that Zipparah Tafari his keys and fcuking phone.

Surely there's been a time when you've been in the situation where you've lost your keys and your phone? He's just saying what everyone else has been thinking for years...

[HEGGSY]

Offering to work, being told not worry as they're not expecting to be busy, then being called after organising to go and play football and being asked to work as it's really busy and there's not enough staff. FFS!!

[Corky]

Cardiff City.

Why did you bother?

[Royston.]

Leicester City.

Why didnt we bother?

[OzFox]

The phrase "technical ability" to describe a player with skill, flair, or touch

"Technical ability" sounds like a fvcking Volkswagen engineer, not a football player.

I'd bet any money it originated in Germany or Holland

[ozleicester]

edit; What a c0ck, looking in the wrong topic for my post

Edited 8 May 2012 by ozleicester

[Daggers]

A little person has just put on BGT, the 3rd Semi-final.

The what now?

The THIRD semi-final?

For the love of Dawkins, how pig shit thick is this country?!

[Corky]

A little person has just put on BGT, the 3rd Semi-final.

The what now?

The THIRD semi-final?

For the love of Dawkins, how pig shit thick is this country?!

Makes me loose my patience, things like that.

[HEGGSY]

I hate it when people mix up they're homophones.

I've just realised that lose and loose are not really homophones, so to speak.

[THEFATBASTARD]

The little ***** who take the muffler off their 2 cc motorbike engine,..so they can make as much fookin noise as possible. trying to make out its a "big" bike...noise polluting *****..