What grinds my gears...

[Carl the Llama]

When you're in the middle of a smoke and you get hit by a case of the smoke shits.

On a similar note, and I'm not talking about this one 'cause I had no trouble letting it out, the only problem with it was the cleanup job needed afterwards, and the fact that I've eaten a lot of spicy food recently so my hole is on fire right now (I think Johnny Cash wrote a song about the phenomenon): When you have a dump and a small deposit of said matter 'binds' with your arse barnet, forcing you to rip some bum hairs out to get rid of it.

[Tom17LCFC]

Nostalgia in a way, thinking of how good everything used to be. Not that it's terrible now but I'd kill to go back a few years and re-live some of the things.

[Alexikokopops]

Just spent the last half hour unblocking the toilet, forgive me for not caring about your blocked sink as I've been ferreting around with a twisted coat hanger, just up to the rim of the marigolds, and very briefly just over that limit, in warm shitty, bleachy water.

I went to a party once (I know, I know, I'm very popular) and someone got so drunk they shat themselves and tried to flush their pants down the toilet. The host had to reach in to the shitty pissy water beyond his elbow and pull them out. The first I learnt about it was when a felt someone give me a bit of a wedgie and his voice shout "YOU'RE OK" before moving on.

[Jaspa]

I went to a party once (I know, I know, I'm very popular) and someone got so drunk they shat themselves and tried to flush their pants down the toilet. The host had to reach in to the shitty pissy water beyond his elbow and pull them out. The first I learnt about it was when a felt someone give me a bit of a wedgie and his voice shout "YOU'RE OK" before moving on.

I suppose your old adage of 'always take a second' really helped you out there

But fxxk, Id be livid as a host of that

[Captain...]

I went to a party once (I know, I know, I'm very popular) and someone got so drunk they shat themselves and tried to flush their pants down the toilet. The host had to reach in to the shitty pissy water beyond his elbow and pull them out. The first I learnt about it was when a felt someone give me a bit of a wedgie and his voice shout "YOU'RE OK" before moving on.

Haha, that is brilliant way of checking.

Reminds me of being at school and someone had written fvck on the toilet mirror in shit, we all had to line up and have our hands smelt by the deputy head.

Don't know if they were checking for poo or excessive soaping, but it was a surreal moment.

[z-layrex]

How there seems to be no point in doing anything these days unless everyone knows about it.

The superbowl for example. The amount of people on my fb posting pictures of their novelty American snack parties and ****ing #im49ers or whatever. Yes we get you're watching NFL, isnt it exciting and new, now shut the **** up and watch it.

Edited 5 February 2013 by z-layrex

[FoxesAreBlue]

When you catch somebody blatantly acting in a way that they shouldn't - you tell them about it and they get all false-offended and try every which way they can to try and defend themselves.

Then they ask who the hell am I? So I always use my favourite line... "I'm the one telling you how it is, carry on doing what you are doing and you won't be welcome here anymore"

[Leicester Piggott]

How there seems to be no point in doing anything these days unless everyone knows about it.

The superbowl for example. The amount of people on my fb posting pictures of their novelty American snack parties and ****ing #im49ers or whatever. Yes we get you're watching NFL, isnt it exciting and new, now shut the **** up and watch it.

Sign 'o' the times.

I agree that its getting ridiculous though. For those just a few years younger than me, who had facebook and similar at secondary school/university, being seen to be doing something is seemingly more important than doing it.

I've made a few changes myself to my life of late, nothing major, just lifestyle changes and I have found it bizarre that two separate people who I do have respect for both said (quite surprised) 'oh, I've not seen anything on facebook about it?'

These things are not the sort of thing I'd stick up on my facebook. They are positive changes but I suppose you just get on with it, rather than put it on facebook to be overtly seen to be doing it.

I do see the irony in mentioning it here!

[Alexikokopops]

How there seems to be no point in doing anything these days unless everyone knows about it.

The superbowl for example. The amount of people on my fb posting pictures of their novelty American snack parties and ****ing #im49ers or whatever. Yes we get you're watching NFL, isnt it exciting and new, now shut the **** up and watch it.

Didn't get invited?

[ithuriel]

British mail, Parcel Force,......****ing joke.

Last time took ages to get my parcel.

This time, i payed for clearance and customs charges and after checking the tracking they are still holding my parcel at the Leicester depot.

I've yet again had to send an Email to ask what they are playing at, useless ****ers

Never have this problem when items are shipped by other delivery services.

[AoWW]

British mail, Parcel Force,......****ing joke.

Last time took ages to get my parcel.

This time, i payed for clearance and customs charges and after checking the tracking they are still holding my parcel at the Leicester depot.

I've yet again had to send an Email to ask what they are playing at, useless ****ers

Never have this problem when items are shipped by other delivery services.

It's all Trav le Bleu's fault.

[pSinatra]

British mail, Parcel Force,......****ing joke.

Last time took ages to get my parcel.

This time, i payed for clearance and customs charges and after checking the tracking they are still holding my parcel at the Leicester depot.

I've yet again had to send an Email to ask what they are playing at, useless ****ers

Never have this problem when items are shipped by other delivery services.

They're all as bad as each other.

I'm waiting on Yodel. Tracked the item this morning & it was 'out for delivery' at 6am. Brilliant!! Just checked again & it's 'out for delivery' at 11am. It's been out for delivery twice?? I've waited in all day, but have GOT to go out for a little while at 3pm. If this is when they attempt delivery, I'm screwed. Their depot is in Leamington Spa & I'm not going to waste another day waiting in if they suggest another day for delivery.

Lorraine Kelly..........what an utter waste of oxygen. She might be all twee & Scottish, but she is good for nothing.

[Guest BlueBrett]

Just spent the last half hour unblocking the toilet, forgive me for not caring about your blocked sink as I've been ferreting around with a twisted coat hanger, just up to the rim of the marigolds, and very briefly just over that limit, in warm shitty, bleachy water.

Did your sexy new girlfriend lay a massive turd in there?

[Alexikokopops]

Did your sexy new girlfriend lay a massive turd in there?

This has been bugging me for a while (so I suppose this is an apt thread for it) - you do realise you can quote a post by clicking on the "Quote" button next to it? It's not only easier for you but it means that people reading your posts can see who you're quoting and also click on the arrow to take them back to the post if they want to.

Edit: it also means the person quoted gets a notification to let them know you've quoted them (if they've set that up)

Edited 5 February 2013 by Alexikokopops

[Captain...]

Did your sexy new girlfriend lay a massive turd in there?

Nope housemate, think it was more of a bog roll blockage

[Guest BlueBrett]

This has been bugging me for a while (so I suppose this is an apt thread for it) - you do realise you can quote a post by clicking on the "Quote" button next to it? It's not only easier for you but it means that people reading your posts can see who you're quoting and also click on the arrow to take them back to the post if they want to.

Edit: it also means the person quoted gets a notification to let them know you've quoted them (if they've set that up)

Ahhh so that's why my Quote box thing is always blank! I had often wondered about that but thought maybe it just didn't display the name of the quoted person because FT just expected you to remember on your own posts

Next I'm going to figure out how to use the block function and then I'll really be cooking on gas.

[Alexikokopops]

Ahhh so that's why my Quote box thing is always blank! I had often wondered about that but thought maybe it just didn't display the name of the quoted person because FT just expected you to remember on your own posts

Next I'm going to figure out how to use the block function and then I'll really be cooking on gas.

Glad to be of service. You can use the multiquote button if you think you might want to quote multiple people. And it works if you're browsing on a phone to (click on the post you want to quote and the "Quote" button should appear).

[The Doctor]

More ****ing snow.

And someone has been smoking cannabis in my kitchen. Don't care if they want to smoke, but I don't want my kitchen smelling of it.

[MooseBreath]

More ****ing snow.

And someone has been smoking cannabis in my kitchen. Don't care if they want to smoke, but I don't want my kitchen smelling of it.

Set up an invetigation room.

[The Doctor]

Set up an invetigation room.

But I'm not a vet.

[Haydos]

****ing snow closing the astroturf.

[Steven]

Just spent the last half hour unblocking the toilet, forgive me for not caring about your blocked sink as I've been ferreting around with a twisted coat hanger, just up to the rim of the marigolds, and very briefly just over that limit, in warm shitty, bleachy water.

I just laughed out loud at work when I read this. It is the phrase "and very briefly just over that limit" that so very funny.

[Alexikokopops]

Set up an invetigation room.

A Meeting and Investigation Room?

[FoxyPV]

Just spent the last half hour unblocking the toilet, forgive me for not caring about your blocked sink as I've been ferreting around with a twisted coat hanger, just up to the rim of the marigolds, and very briefly just over that limit, in warm shitty, bleachy water.

Use a large bin bag to clear a blocked toilet instead of marigolds. It also means that you can tape it shut at the top as well.

When MsFoxy and I had just started going out, we returned from a night out to find the toilet blocked with vomit. I was in the kitchen and MsFoxy found this and was shoulder deep in t toilet when I informed her of this method of keeping your hands clean and dry.

I got the death stare.

[AoWW]

Use a large bin bag to clear a blocked toilet instead of marigolds. It also means that you can tape it shut at the top as well.

When MsFoxy and I had just started going out, we returned from a night out to find the toilet blocked with vomit. I was in the kitchen and MsFoxy found this and was shoulder deep in t toilet when I informed her of this method of keeping your hands clean and dry.

I got the death stare.

At least she didn't fling the vomit-laden toilet water at you. (She probably cleaned the toilet with your toothbrush, later, though.)