What grinds my gears...

[FoxesAreBlue]

The new sign at my local gym that says " No shitting in the showers". Can't beat starting the day with some weights and cardio followed by a good body cleanse with a big dump under the power showers. Arse clean as a whistle and the best bidet ever. Pity the poor bugger that has to shovel it up though.

Similar to the sign I've ordered for my gym.

No Jeans

No Open Toed shoes.

No Forest Shirts

No shitting on the floor like a beast of the field.

No service.

[I am Rod Hull]

You lot havent lived until you see a confused elderly man catch his nutty shit out of his arse and eat it.

Beats hospital food.....

[The Doctor]

Similar to the sign I've ordered for my gym.

No Jeans

No Open Toed shoes.

No Forest Shirts

No shitting on the floor like a beast of the field.

No service.

You are aware that means you'd have to shit on the floor to get service?

[FoxesAreBlue]

You are aware that means you'd have to shit on the floor to get service?

If you wear jeans, no service

If you wear a forest shirt, no service

If you shot on the floor, no service.

It fits doesn't it?

[Webbo]

You lot havent lived until you see a confused elderly man catch his nutty shit out of his arse and eat it.

I went to see a job at an old peoples home once. When I walked into the TV room there was one old lady with her skirt up around her waist fiddling with herself.

[Charl91]

If you wear jeans, no service

If you wear a forest shirt, no service

If you shot on the floor, no service.

It fits doesn't it?

Sorry, but the way it reads to me it, it implys one of two things. Either....

A) Unless you do all the afore mentioned things (like wearing jeans and shitting on the floor), there will be no service.

Or

B) You gym doesn't allow jeans/sandals, etc. but it also implies that you give crap (ie. no) service.

For me, for the sign to work it would have to be either

Jeans?

Open Toed shoes?

Forest Shirts?

Shitting on the floor like a beast of the field.?

No service!

Or simply missing out the last line, so it says

No Jeans

No Open Toed shoes.

No Forest Shirts

No shitting on the floor like a beast of the field

If this is a legit sign, then don't be suprised if all your visitors arrive wearing jeans, shirts and sandals and proceed to shit all over your floor.

Edited 10 April 2013 by Charl91

[Captain...]

Sorry, but the way it reads to me it, it implys one of two things. Either....

A) Unless you do all the afore mentioned things (like wearing jeans and shitting on the floor), there will be no service.

Or

B) You gym doesn't allow jeans/sandals, etc. but it also implies that you give crap (ie. no) service.

For me, for the sign to work it would have to be either

Or simply missing out the last line, so it says

If this is a legit sign, then don't be suprised if all your visitors arrive wearing jeans, shirts and sandals and proceed to shit all over your floor.

It may be grammatically ambiguous, but it is a very common thing, http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=no+shirt+no+shoes+no+service+signs&hl=en&client=ms-android-sonyericsson&source=android-browser-type&v=133247963&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=88NlUZzvJ-Os4ATp1YDwDA&ved=0CD0QsAQ&biw=320&bih=544

[Charl91]

It may be grammatically ambiguous, but it is a very common thing, http://www.google.co...biw=320&bih=544

You're right, it's done for catchiness purposes, but it only really seems to work in groups of three's.

For example the whole...

no shoes

no shirt

no service

...works. But add more things to it and it doesn't. Here's my made up example.

no shoes

no shirt

no hat

no scarf

no monkeys

no vogon poetry

no service

At that point the message is lost, and it just becomes a list of things that aren't allowed. Again, at least in my opinion anyway. Then again, I did a degree in speaking bollocks (English) so I think i've just got used to reading too much into bugger all

Disclaimer: Before someone posts "but you have a degree in English yet you have grammar mistakes/spelling mistakes/are talking complete bollocks" - I never said I was any good at it!

Edited 10 April 2013 by Charl91

[FoxesAreBlue]

Ah fvck it! It's not a legit sign anyway.

We had a high powered management meeting about it today. It took 3 hours, 4 gallons of green tea ('tis a gym after all), the CEO got involved, and the Investment company and after putting it to the vote and consulting the ghost of the recently departed Baroness Thatcher. We did some blue sky thinking, ran it up the flag pole to see how it fluttered and after making sure that we were all singing from the same hymn sheet, we decided that MOST people don't need to be told not to shit on the floor. Ergo the cost of making a sign would simply not be worth it.

I took the minutes.

[Haydos]

Ah fvck it! It's not a legit sign anyway.

We had a high powered management meeting about it today. It took 3 hours, 4 gallons of green tea ('tis a gym after all), the CEO got involved, and the Investment company and after putting it to the vote and consulting the ghost of the recently departed Baroness Thatcher. We did some blue sky thinking, ran it up the flag pole to see how it fluttered and after making sure that we were all singing from the same hymn sheet, we decided that MOST people don't need to be told not to shit on the floor. Ergo the cost of making a sign would simply not be worth it.

I took the minutes.

Some great post this week, chin up mate

[BoneDog]

Using my Cracker type detectives nose I've come to the conclusion that the shower shitter is none other than the testosterone overflow steroided maniac who keeps threatening you.

He needs tackling.

[FoxesAreBlue]

Some great post this week, chin up mate

Cheers! I can be quite sarcastic at times. So I'm told anyway!

Tbh I prefer toread and post in Gen Chat as by the time I read the LCFC bit I have nothing new too add and a lot of the threads just go round in circles and are full of idiots!

Edited 11 April 2013 by blue-army-andy

[FoxesAreBlue]

Using my Cracker type detectives nose I've come to the conclusion that the shower shitter is none other than the testosterone overflow steroided maniac who keeps threatening you.

He needs tackling.

Ongoing to use the nipple trick on him today, he'll be shit scared of me after that.

Hmmmmm.... Might be a flaw in that plan.

[MC Prussian]

The pricing system with East Midlands trains (or any other UK train line, for that matter).

Why can't you offer the same (low) prices every day? £55 for a one-way to Leicester from Luton... Blimey.

But alas, sadly I don't have a lot of other options.

[Alexikokopops]

The pricing system with East Midlands trains (or any other UK train line, for that matter).

Why can't you offer the same (low) prices every day? £55 for a one-way to Leicester from Luton... Blimey.

But alas, sadly I don't have a lot of other options.

National Express Coach? Splitting the journey? For instance, if you were getting an anytime day single tomorrow at 7:42 (arriving in Luton at 9:03) it would cost £58, but if you buy an anytime day single from Leicester to Market Harborough (£10.80) AND an anytime day single from Market Harborough to Luton (£24) it costs £35.80. Utterly stupid I know but worth looking into.

Edited 11 April 2013 by Alexikokopops

[MC Prussian]

National Express Coach? Splitting the journey?

I'm getting in late in Luton and the coach would take too long to get to Leicester in time for the Birmingham match. I've got a NE ticket for the return, though. Thanks!

As for the other option, I'll have to check it out. Although it's too late now (since I've already ordered the tickets), I'm sure it'll come in handy next time around.

Thing is, whenever I travel to the UK, I book in advance. This time, though, a pick-up fell through, so I have to rely on last-minute offers.

Anyway: Much appreciated, Alex.

Edited 11 April 2013 by MC Prussian

[Captain...]

I'm getting in late in Luton and the coach would take too long to get to Leicester in time for the Birmingham match. I've got a NE ticket for the return, though. Thanks!

As for the other option, I'll have to check it out. Although it's too late now (since I've already ordered the tickets), I'm sure it'll come in handy next time around.

Thing is, whenever I travel to the UK, I book in advance. This time, though, a pick-up fell through, so I have to rely on last-minute offers.

Anyway: Much appreciated, Alex.

Or look to get a return, London, Leicester off peak is £55 one way but £56 for an open return, it's crazy, even if I'm not planning to come back, I often buy the open return, because I travel so often between the 2 that I almost always use it.

I saw recently another campaign to nationalise British rail, it is becoming prohibitively expensive.

[MooseBreath]

Nationalising it will just spread the cost across everyone, including people who don't use it. The way we're going now is to reduce government subsidy which means the only people who pay for it are the people who use it, which in my most honest opinion is the way it should be. The government should let go of it completely and let the free market sort it out.

[MC Prussian]

Well, when I look at the transportation system in Switzerland and the one in the UK, I know which one I prefer.

Buses and trains are way too expensive, unreliable (buses in particular) and should be made more attractive to the general public, meaning prices have to come down and services need to improve.

The current status quo grinds my gears, yeah.

[Captain...]

Nationalising it will just spread the cost across everyone, including people who don't use it. The way we're going now is to reduce government subsidy which means the only people who pay for it are the people who use it, which in my most honest opinion is the way it should be. The government should let go of it completely and let the free market sort it out.

Not necessarily, nationalising it won't make it free, it is a profitable enterprise for train companies, so why can't it be profitable if nationalised? Then the only reason it is profitable is because it is heavily subsidised by the Government, so as we are paying for it now anyway why should the profits go to train companies and not back to the state?

Incidentally do you want all roads to become toll roads? What is good business sense (only those that use it pay for it) doesn't always apply to the good of the state.

[MooseBreath]

Not necessarily, nationalising it won't make it free, it is a profitable enterprise for train companies, so why can't it be profitable if nationalised? Then the only reason it is profitable is because it is heavily subsidised by the Government, so as we are paying for it now anyway why should the profits go to train companies and not back to the state?

Incidentally do you want all roads to become toll roads? What is good business sense (only those that use it pay for it) doesn't always apply to the good of the state.

Well exactly, either privatise it or don't. The current situation where private companies are guaranteed profits through government subsidy is the worst of both worlds. I would support it being fully nationalised over what we have now, but would prefer it to be privatised and regulated.

As for roads, I don't know exactly how road building and maintenance is currently funded to be honest. The amount of pot holes that have appeared over this past winter suggest perhaps that they're not funded very much at all. Assuming they are funded from a tax pot of some kind, I wouldn't be against full toll roads from an economic perspective as long as tax was proportionately reduced. I don't see any problem with people paying directly for their use of a road, except maybe logistically.

[ADK]

When i spent time in Germany the trains were amazing.

I really would rather pay a few quid a year extra tax for a decent transport network than paying some shit bankers bonus.

[lavrentis]

When i spent time in Germany the trains were amazing.

I really would rather pay a few quid a year extra tax for a decent transport network than paying some shit bankers bonus.

Or you could go on the Japanese trains, privatised in 1987 apparently and owned by a profit making company "JR Group". One of the best train networks in the world imo. If only in the UK we could have something similar.

[Webbo]

It's a myth that British Rail were cheap and efficient. They weren't cheap and the service was terrible, we have far less accidents now as well.

[Harry - LCFC]

The Safe Standing thread is giving me some serious aggro at the minute. The fact that there are still people who don't realise that Safe Standing presents no danger at all after being offered dozens of explanations has frustrated me immensely.

Ignorance persists and I'm having to endure.