What grinds my gears...

[MooseBreath]

I did find it a bit awkward having to announce my troubles in front of a whole silent waiting room when that happened to me once. I wish I'd had it in me to tell the receptionist that I wanted to see a doctor about penis size reduction, but instead I just sort of mumbled, "yes it's err, geni ort", "what, can you speak up", "yes I said it's genital war", "genital war you say?", "no, it's err warts I said", "OH YES, OK GENITAL WARTS YOU SAY, ok have a seat sir", "yes ok, um, ok."

[Guest MattP]

So I'm the only one who actually says the most outrageous personal thing on the phone just to entertain myself then? Mention something sexual and then ask for a taxi in a deep voice

 

I told her I think I might be pregnant once and she hung up

Edited 25 October 2013 by MattP

[Stadt]

So I'm the only one who actually says the most outrageous personal thing on the phone just to entertain myself then? Mention something sexual and then ask for a taxi in a deep voice

I told her I think I might be pregnant once and she hung up

If I answer the phone and it's an international call trying to sell something, I pretend to be a PPI salesman(?) it just confuses them and more often than not they put the phone down.

[Guest MattP]

If I answer the phone and it's an international call trying to sell something, I pretend to be a PPI salesman(?) it just confuses them and more often than not they put the phone down.

 

It's great trying to sell them something back, you have to entertain yourself with these sort of things.

[cambridgefox]

Doctors' Receptionists who ask for medical details about why you want an appointment. Are they medically qualified? No. So in my opinion they're in no position to 'diagnose' whether it's necessary I see a doctor or not. 

 

If, during my appointment, my doctor felt I'd been to see him needlessly, I'd be happy for him to tell me so and advise me what to do in a similar situation in future, but I really can't be doing with nosey receptionists with an over-inflated sense of their own importance.

if they had been astute they would have known!

[The Year Of The Fox]

So I'm the only one who actually says the most outrageous personal thing on the phone just to entertain myself then? Mention something sexual and then ask for a taxi in a deep voice

 

I told her I think I might be pregnant once and she hung up

i wouldn't dare do that you see. Why? bevause its a mission and a half to get the bastards to answer the phone in the first place. They open the lines at 8am, except that it isn't 8am its about 8.03 usually. By the time you've redialled 20 times and have got through its 830am and you've missed all the appointments.

Last week was slightly different though. I got through first time, 'hi there can I make an appointment to see the doctor this afternoon please?'

'you need to ring back at 1pm to get appointments in the afternoon'

'ok thanks'

So I rang up at 1pm, eventually got through at about 110pm and was told by a different woman that all afternoon appointments were made in the morning and to ring up the next day. (I wanted it that afternoon as I was working dead opposite the surgery) I kicked off a bit with the woman and she eventually asked me to describe what was wrong which I did. She then told me a doc would phone back. He did so immediately and arranged an appointment for me at 330pm.

I don't know if its a nationwide problem, a Leicestershire problem or just my surgery's protocol, but when they give you short shrift how the first receptionist did they're effectively playing with people's lives which is just plain wrong.

[FrankieADZ]

these blooming companies making all these products smaller and all that but still charging the same price. gits

[Trav Le Bleu]

It's great trying to sell them something back, you have to entertain yourself with these sort of things.

 

My phone docking station (and therefore usually the phone) is next to the PC, so when I get one I say, "just putting you on hold" and hold the ear-piece to the PC speakers.

[Zingari]

if they had been astute they would have known!

image.jpg

you picked a fine time to leave me loose heel 

[Voll Blau]

These daft cartoon photo things that people (mostly couples) keep putting on facebook. Yes, you have in-jokes - we get it. It'd be a bit weird if you didn't given you've been rooting each other for the past three years...

[Mark_w]

I did not turn on the Football Forum to hear about that ITV trash.

[Rincewind]

I missed it

[Saxondale]

Having recently taken delivery of a new car, I'm fairly protective of it. As such, I hate having to park it in the supermarket car park, where it runs the risk of being scraped or bashed by one or more of the many absolute imbeciles that frequent such places. 

 

In order to minimise this risk, I have been parking my pride-and-joy as far away from the store entrance as possible, in amongst the empty spaces.

 

When I return to my car, I invariably find that some absolute halfwit has ignored the countless other rows of empty spaces and parked right next to me, so I can barely even open my door to get in. 

 

 Why?

 

Are they following some sort of primeval, animal herding instinct? 

[Fox in the North]

Injuries from training the week before a game! I really want to prove myself and I'm confident I can get a place on the starting line up, but my neck is killing!

[Parafox]

When we want to get from A-B we just flag down the nearest passing goat.

 

A four in one bonus.. ride it home, shag it, kill it, eat it

[Strokes]

A four in one bonus.. ride it home, shag it, kill it, eat it

I could never eat a goat.

[bovril]

Goat tastes a lot like lamb, unsurprisingly.

[The Doctor]

My Halloween costume arrived the day after the first party. Just as well I've two more parties this week.

[The Blur]

My Halloween costume arrived the day after the first party. Just as well I've two more parties this week.

 

 

Did you recently woke up from a coma then?

[The Doctor]

Did you recently woke up from a coma then?

Ey? Not a clue what you are taking about.

[The Blur]

Ey? Not a clue what you are taking about.

 

 

Hahaha- usually when people put on facebook that they are wondering what to go as, the standard response be 'as yourself' but I thought I could do better than that so what I meant was theoretically your costume arrived late because you was asleep in coma and now that you had woke up so your costume (as yourself) is now ready.

[The Horse's Mouth]

Hahaha- usually when people put on facebook that they are wondering what to go as, the standard response be 'as yourself' but I thought I could do better than that so what I meant was theoretically your costume arrived late because you was asleep in coma and now that you had woke up so your costume (as yourself) is now ready.

[The People's Hero]

You what!!?

[purpleronnie]

Great 20 mins from leaving, heard arctic monkeys have cancelled the concert, poo pants.

[sphericalfox]

Great 20 mins from leaving, heard arctic monkeys have cancelled the concert, poo pants.

brylcreem emergency?

Edited 31 October 2013 by sphericalfox