What grinds my gears...

[Webbo]

Cushions. Been with my fiancé 5 years and didnt have one when we met. Lookin in our living room now there are 17! On two ****ing sofas wtf who needs that many, half the ****ers need slinging on floor jus so you can get on the bastad sofa in first place. Then worse of all are the decorative bed cushions which are put on everytime bed is made and anothe ten there aswell, i literally want to take them all outside and chuck them on a bonfire, but know they would happily be replaced in a day by my fiancé and them bastads dunelm mill. There the equivalent of crack dealers to women with the endless house tat they convince women to buy, total c*nts!

For once your ott rage is entirely justified.

[StanSP]

Discarded roll ups and cigarettes flicked onto my drive. Thinking about getting some sort of surveillance camera to catch the culprits. They will eat them if I catch them!

 

We've had this in our front garden. We know who it is (the slutty daughter and her cvnty friends that go round to her house). As obviously hideous as it is, it seems petty going to speak to them (or her parents) about it all . Probably cos this is the first time we've noticed it. If it carries on we'll probably make a fuss and say something.

[city187]

For once your ott rage is entirely justified.

Thank you. Now lets burn dunelm mill down joke.

[Kinowe Soorie]

We've had this in our front garden. We know who it is (the slutty daughter and her cvnty friends that go round to her house). As obviously hideous as it is, it seems petty going to speak to them (or her parents) about it all . Probably cos this is the first time we've noticed it. If it carries on we'll probably make a fuss and say something.

It doesn't take much for me to get angry, but it's filth. The culprits must light up when they leave their houses and by the time they get to mine they are finished. And that's when they throw them onto my drive. There must be a mathematical equation to work this out?

[city187]

It doesn't take much for me to get angry, but it's filth. The culprits must light up when they leave their houses and by the time they get to mine they are finished. And that's when they throw them onto my drive. There must be a mathematical equation to work this out?

Just light a cigarette on your driveway then walk smoking it in one direction then do the opposite way and then it should rule a few out? Id rather lie in full camouflage on my driveway in a bush then just jump out on the ****er and shout Oiiii whilst pointing in there face. That will stop them. Unless there hard and just drop you on the spot. Second thoughts dont do anything jus run and hide behind the curtains far more sensible imo

[Benguin]

When football commentators or pundits say "They need to start asking questions" or "Really disappointing there, you'd expect him to have at least asked questions"

 

Fvck off with the question it's the most annoying thing in the world!

[Magictv]

Stone Chippings.

Over around a 5km stretch of road.

I'd love to meet the prick who thought that it'd be a good idea. Some suit, pen-pusher whatever you wanna call them, sitting in his (Or her) office, bored, thinking hmmmm we've got some money left over, what can I do with it?! I know....

Was driving down said road at around 20mph and stone chippings were flying everywhen at that point but then an Ambulance comes past at quite a high speed, now don't get me wrong i'm not blaming the ambulance one bit, they were doing their job, they were on an emergency call, stone chippings cover my car, causing several chips in my window screen that I reckon now needs replacing (Certainly repairing) and I dread to think what state the bodywork is in - My car needs washing thanks to the dust, my black car is currently grey but I really do dread what i'm going to find.

The thing is the road is pretty decent, it didn't need repairing or anything there are ALOT worse roads about.

Why not use our money on doing a proper job rather than using it to do a cheap job using stone chippings which in turn cost us more money. Wankers.

A47 past earl shilton? Fvcking fuming!! 3 miles of pretty much perfect tarmac now left looking more like a rally stage.

Wtf is that all about? Does anyone understand why they do this?

[separator]

Back in my backpacking days, I was staying in one of the less salubrious parts of Cairo, and it was commonplace to see people lift up their djellaba and shit in the street.

Makes spitting seem almost civilized.

Saw this when I was in Peru, a local blatantly having a dump in a street just off the main square in Cusco. Charming.

Edited 28 April 2015 by separator

[Stadt]

Last weekend me and my dad saw this drunk guy shit in the bushes at bede park

[Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo]

Last weekend me and my dad saw this drunk guy shit in the bushes at bede park

 

Why were you with your dad in the bushes?

[bovril]

I know it's been done to death but call centre workers speaking at a trillion miles an hour.

[Guest MattP]

Back in my backpacking days, I was staying in one of the less salubrious parts of Cairo, and it was commonplace to see people lift up their djellaba and shit in the street.

Makes spitting seem almost civilized.

 

One of my mates wives works in Primark and this actually happened last year in there.

 

Just squatted in the aisle adjusting her burka for about a minute then trudged along afterwards having just left a massive turd on the middle of the shopfloor. Imagine it's totally normal in Mogadishu.

[Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo]

Mogadishu.

 

Bless you

[Fox92]

Thank you. Now lets burn dunelm mill down joke.

 

Glad you cleared that up!

[bovril]

One of my mates wives works in Primark and this actually happened last year in there.

 

Just squatted in the aisle adjusting her burka for about a minute then trudged along afterwards having just left a massive turd on the middle of the shopfloor. Imagine it's totally normal in Mogadishu.

 

That's raising the tone of Primark somewhat.

[Facecloth]

That's raising the tone of Primark somewhat.

 

Someone probably bought it for £1.99.

[Stadt]

Someone probably bought it for £1.99.

Some poor Somalian has spent days making that, it's a disgrace it's only £1.99

[Merging Cultures]

One of my mates wives works in Primark and this actually happened last year in there.

Just squatted in the aisle adjusting her burka for about a minute then trudged along afterwards having just left a massive turd on the middle of the shopfloor. Imagine it's totally normal in Mogadishu.

I know you are just being provocative, but no, I doubt in Mogadishu people just shit in the street.

There is generally a problem with open defection globally. 2.4 bn people do not have suitable sanitation. However, they tend to have an area to shit in, or they go off the main road.

I'm not denying what Buce or your friend may have witnessed, but pissing in the street is most popular. Not taking a dump.

[Rincewind]

Or take a baseball bat to his stereo.

This  was inspired by a true story someone told me. They were continually being woken up in the early hours  by a stereo. I made up the solution  that is in bold.  Well it was bold.  You will have to guess where it is. I  put it  in bold and it never worked.  10/11 stanza

RespectTerry was a decent manIn his old fashioned way he was set.He was polite to all he knewAnd treated them with respect.Terry shared a hostel houseAfter on hard times he fellHe discovered in the room next doorWas housed the neighbour from Hell.Music blaring at 3amKeeping Terry awakeThree months he covered his earsUntil no more he could take.Knocking on his neighbour's doorHe did not know what to expectAll he wanted was the music turned downAnd to be shown some respect.Before him stood a manWith drug crazed eyes.Alcohol fueled breath hit Terry head onAs abuse spit out of the mouth.Terry’s pleas for respect fellFell on deaf ears with a thudA complaint to the house care workerWas greeted with just a shrug.Then Terry met his friend MickWho offered help with his plight.He said he would resolve the problemAnd would be around that night.Sure enough the music cameThrough the walls at the usual time.Mick said he would have a word With the chap from next door.Twenty stone of solid muscleBuilt like a shit-house made of brick.His face like it was battered by a trainNot to be crossed was our Mick.He strode into the roomPicked up the stereo with one hand.The neighbour stood open-mouthedAs through the window it went.Onto the path two floors downThe Man’s pride and joy smashedThe fragments of the window which was shutFollowed close behind with a crash.After Mick’s visit all was quietAnd Terry had his sleep.His life has changed for the better.His own flat and a neighbour that shows respect.So if you live in a hostelTake heed of this tale and reflect.Think how your actions affect othersAnd always show some respect.

Edited 29 April 2015 by Rincewind

[kingcarr21]

Why does that poem only rhyme half the time. Either have it all rhyming or not at all.

[MooseBreath]

I can't tell if it's a poem or just a story?

[Carl the Llama]

That seems like a disproportionate reaction.

[Guest MattP]

Is that a script from an episode of Shameless?

[Finnegan]

Having man flu on your birthday week.

Supposed to be on it tomorrow but I've been feeling vulgar, fingers crossed. Playing football twice this week probably not clever.

Will be asleep on a stool in Taps by half ten tomorrow.

[Royston.]

A47 past earl shilton? Fvcking fuming!! 3 miles of pretty much perfect tarmac now left looking more like a rally stage.

Wtf is that all about? Does anyone understand why they do this?

 

Could go into detail about budgets and the like but I think they're just doing it to píss you off.

Having man flu on your birthday week.

Supposed to be on it tomorrow but I've been feeling vulgar, fingers crossed. Playing football twice this week probably not clever.

Will be asleep on a stool in Taps by half ten tomorrow.

 

Esteban???