General Smuts Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 Here we go then ... Battle 1 - LD3 Vs Nationwider LD3 Nationwider thinks he's like Tinchy Stryder, Turns out he's just an old fool pissed on cider. He's from up north, he ain't got no class, Even Shingler could kick his big ass! Old man thinks he's funny, This guys a taxman, he robs peoples money! He thinks he can beat me he might aswell try, but as soon as he steps on stage he gon' die. By the end of this battle, He gone be wishing he'd gone fishing. 'Cos tonight i'm a magician, Gonna make him go missing from this shit competition. So we reaching the end and I know i've won, This guys so old he's Charles Dickens' son. He's old, he's thick but he's fun, This shits been good but right now it's all done. Nationwider The 3 in LD3 stands for 3 foot tall Foxestalk's equivalent of Bobby Ball Short enough to enter the grotto of Santa I always watch Dave: the gnome of witty banter Battle 2 - Nussul Vs Fez Nussul What can I say then about this bloke Fez? Hard to find faults despite what people says It’s probs just cause I don’t know him too well Be hard to diss him, but oh what the hell ‘That pic’ with Woolers, was verging on porn. Both as naked as the day they was born Still think that he’s straight, nah he aint no fag It’s believed the ladies up for a shag Met him at Scunny, he looked slightly scared I said who I was, how little he cared He’s famous and all, look out for the bloke In a google pic from the game 'gainst Stoke The Foxestalk flag, which he did provide The thing we notice, and look at with pride All down to him, the ledge Mr Bevan Many people’s mate, but the ladies heaven Fezmond Tutu So I've drawn NSLL Used to be called Old Yellow Bricks I'm thinking ****ing hell, I can't diss a boy of six. On his Facebook fave music here's gold My Chemical Romance and Panic At the Disco, is he 12 years old I bet he cried at Titanic Favourite Films - Eurotrip Have you ever seen it? The full film, or just a clip? Eurotrip is really shit. It depends how much deeper Into this lad's past I can delve, this dig is even cheaper, But he loves girls if they're 12. Battle 3 - Corky Vs Fox You Forest Corky Fox You Forest ain't got no clue, he listens to Lionel Ritchie, the others try and diss his crew, and then he gets all bitchy. He gets pissed up on Export, he nevers shows no respect, he is total shit at all sport, it's what we must expect. He drinks that shit called Pernod, what the ferk is that? It really is quite vile, ya know, and it makes him act a brat. He fancies some fit bird, he ain't got no chance, he can't say no fooking word, and he can't even flippin' dance. Fox You Forest Drawn against Corky, Whack Laughing at his jokes? I must be on crack. Hails from the land of Canary. Jesus Christ what fooking a fairy. This rappin shit is hard. Bet he stole his stuff from a birthday card. He’s said times he doesn’t drink. Smuts for ****s sake lose the weak link. This shits coming to an end. Going out against Corky i can’t comprehend. I will win with these here trix. If I’m out, Smuts this battle is a fooking fix. Like these lyrics I’ve spun? Stick a fork in him ‘cause he’s fooking done. Corky who? He’s about to spew. Battle 4 - Katy Vs Trav Le Bleu Katy Trav Le Bleu his stack Sez he'll pop a cap in your ass Sez you disrespeck hiz update pack Sez you pissed on his garden grass Trav Le Bleu, man, you got it all wrong You're talking bollox and dem, dat shizzle You're speaking, but venting a pong It woz never piss, it woz drizzle Nicest man on the board, Trav Le Bleu Don't make me laugh, he's no davieG What he knows about niceness, fits on the back of a poo 'fact he ain't even as nice as me Like Martin Corry he's been sighted For his unorthodox life style The boys in blue say he should be smited The police say its on his permanent record file Trav Le Bleu Mercury showed up Katy’s fears It proved she looking rough But couldn’t see her pixie ears Cos dey covered by her muff She can bitchslap at four hundred feet With parts dat over size Not hand’s she use, to give you heat She’ll get you with her thighs Brrrraap, brrraaap, bookah Pop a cap in her ass Den I got a looka Decided I should pass Say bitches are to blame for woe Pandora took off the lid Dat’s not true, cos we all know That’s what Katy did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Smuts Posted 11 February 2009 Author Share Posted 11 February 2009 Those that entered and turned in thier offerings are below. These all recieve byes into the next round. A Fox In Essex (Vs MTWG) MTWG? You can't touch me! You're too busy wanking over footballers from Turkey, And for the record, Frankie from The Saturdays Short hair tells me she should be scissoring her life away. I've nowt against her, but it's just to me it seems Like she should be batting for the other team All this talk is derailing me, I digress So I think it's time I forced you to confess I'm the one true Essex man on FT So why don't you get yo town crier to decree That I'm the victor in this poetic battle of sorts So don't go entertainin' any other thought. I'm sorry I had to beat you so convincingly But my rhymes are like Sutcliffe on a killing spree Cold, deadly, one blow to the head And like all his victims, your rap career's dead! Stez (Vs Tevez) yo mutha ****er the boy tevez he plays in goal yeah? thinks he's mutha ****in lional perez more like ****in' lional blair on foxes talk, he gives it the large one infact he's mutha ****in bore see's a b*tches tit, gets a hard-on and the brother has me on ignore sez he drinks cristal but m'homies saw him drinkin vimto his love life is a myth-gal on his ****in arm you won't see no 'ho he's all bling this bling that with his matalan shoes looking bitter in his aldi hat my friendship he did refuse. General Smuts (Vs The Singh) Dr The Singh, FT's sexy ethnic brother Pink cowboy hat wearing mother funking grandma lover We know Masterfox and Singh are even closer than close Singh wakes up every morning to eat jam and spunk on toast Hes as old as father time and he plays at centre back I've heard it on the grapevine he loves a cock inside his crack Hes not had a drop of booze for a month the mental bastard Mad props for shagging Mrs Singh without being plastered!!! As this is some dirty hippety hop badboy gangsta shit I better bang in some cuss words for you like ... git Now ima get all Travis like SINGH SINGH SINGH SIIIIINGH While you rummage around for verses inside your dustbin Looking urban in a turban hes a punjab sex pest But he'll have to bow down to me cos my rymes is the best Though its hard to look gangsta with long hair and skinny jeans Its not hard to diss the singhstar and ruin his badboy rap dreams BRAP BRAP BRAP!!! Enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finnegan Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 I can't believe I've got to pick between Wider and LD3. Absolute class. Future hall of famers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fez of Mahrez Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 Even I'd vote for NSLL's above mine. That's quality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stez Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 Even I'd vote for NSLL's above mine. That's quality. i don't believe everyone's as pleased with nsll's as you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samilktray Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 Im out then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Smuts Posted 11 February 2009 Author Share Posted 11 February 2009 Im out then? Yes. 3 lines not even mentioning your opponent. Bounced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finnegan Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 i don't believe everyone's as pleased with nsll's as you are. *Giggles with Smutts* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Smuts Posted 11 February 2009 Author Share Posted 11 February 2009 i don't believe everyone's as pleased with nsll's as you are. So i've been told. Nussul mate i may have to bleep yours out or summat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox You Forest Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 Brrrraap, brrraaap, bookah :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Smuts Posted 11 February 2009 Author Share Posted 11 February 2009 So i've been told. Nussul mate i may have to bleep yours out or summat. Amended, sorry son! Your too punk rock for the rap game! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lildave3 Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 Smuts Fyf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lildave3 Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 Amended, sorry son! Your too punk rock for the rap game! Bit harsh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 Gone for LD3 , Nussel , Fox you forest and Katy Funny as fook the lot of them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fosse Boy Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 I'll vote on this later when I'm more drunk/have enough time to consider the lyrical prowess of the contenders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Smuts Posted 11 February 2009 Author Share Posted 11 February 2009 I'll vote on this later when I'm more drunk/have enough time to consider the lyrical prowess of the contenders. Grats on getting through and thanks for entering! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Smuts Posted 11 February 2009 Author Share Posted 11 February 2009 Bit harsh. I had death threats. Bowed to peer pressure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lildave3 Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 I had death threats.Bowed to peer pressure! Katy has lost my respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobbo Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 Katy has lost my respect. I was also making death threats to Smuts. But that was just because I enjoy it. Who wouldn't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 Katy has lost my respect. I think I can live with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asha Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 So i've been told. Nussul mate i may have to bleep yours out or summat. No worries. Fox in Essex's is brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corky Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 That's me gone. Definitely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tilley Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 LD3. :laugh: 'Milktray, what happened?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asha Posted 11 February 2009 Share Posted 11 February 2009 LD3. :laugh:'Milktray, what happened?! The mofo choked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Smuts Posted 11 February 2009 Author Share Posted 11 February 2009 LD3. :laugh:'Milktray, what happened?! 3 lines. Of quite frankly shite. Brother aint got no flow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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