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MPH

Funny things your wife says

By MPH, in General Chat

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ozleicester

ozleicester

Posted
Posted (edited)

There is so much i could put here, but, (as anyone who has listened during her and my "discussions" when im broadcasting the game)..her laugh is more funy than anything anyone EVER said :)

Many years ago we went to watch Nigel Planer (as Neil) on his "Heavy heavy concept tour"... at one point my wife was laughing..and he turned and asked.. "is that some kind of weird Australian animal?"

:crylaugh:

She also loves to listen to the commentary for the city games and pick out all the "questionable".. you know the type...

"Ricardo gets a fist to it"

"Gallaghers slipped that one in"

Edited by ozleicester
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Turtles Head

Turtles Head

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Posted

Out drinking, doing a drinking game involving capitals of countries. When asked Spain, she answered Portugal. When asked Austria, and given a clue that it begins with V, she said that she didn't know a word beginning with V. Finally ventured a guess at "Veluxembourg".

Another drinking game, basically the Radio1 name game....she ended up with H. She went for Harry Bo....

The phrase "You say tomato, i say tomato, became "You say tomato, i say potato"

Saw a really ropey looking chicken in Vietnam. She declared "Doubt he can fly"

Countless others too. She loves being reminded of them

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Darkon84

Darkon84

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Posted

She's right though, it can come from the ground: Linky

I suppose the joke's on you then :whistle:

Damn! I was going to be really smug and clever and explain how the majority of lightning goes from the ground upwards, but alas, I have been beaten to the punch, damn you Shen! *shakes fist* :P

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Parafox

Parafox

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When my wife was revising for her driving test some years back she was reading the Higway Code section on vehicle preparation... i.e make sure lights, indicators, horn etc are working. She got to the part where it said good visibility should be maintained by keeping the winscreen cleared, using the de-misters. She said... "what are DEMMISTERS"? Suppose you had to hear it, doesn't translate into print very well!

We had a double glazing surveyor round and he was going through the options of the type of glass we could have for the bathroom, explaining that some were less see-through than others. One particular sample was described as very obscure. Wife says: Well, we better not go for that one it could take ages to arrive!

:doh:

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FoxyPV

FoxyPV

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Posted

My step daughter was talking about the only way is essex to us last night (:frusty:) and she was talking about someone called "Arg" and questioning his sexuality. She then said "That's funny because Arg is gay spelt backwards"

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Webbo

Webbo

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Watching the TV last night when that M&S ad comes on with Lisa Snowden walking by in a swimsuit with her tits bouncing up and down and my missus says"there's no support in that at all, it looks terrible".

How wrong can you be? :P

Edited by Webbo
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Zingari

Zingari

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Watching the TV last night when that M&S ad comes on with Lisa Snowden walking by in a swimsuit with her tits bouncing up and down and my missus says"there's no support in that at all, it looks terrible".

How wrong can you be? :P

lol

i hope you put her straight about that :D

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AjcW

AjcW

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My step daughter was talking about the only way is essex to us last night (:frusty:) and she was talking about someone called "Arg" and questioning his sexuality. She then said "That's funny because Arg is gay spelt backwards"

A Step Daughter and a Wife.... Well played sir.

:sweating:

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ajthefox

ajthefox

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My step daughter was talking about the only way is essex to us last night (:frusty:) and she was talking about someone called "Arg" and questioning his sexuality. She then said "That's funny because Arg is gay spelt backwards"

How old is she... : :blink:

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millzi

millzi

Posted
Posted

Out drinking, doing a drinking game involving capitals of countries. When asked Spain, she answered Portugal. When asked Austria, and given a clue that it begins with V, she said that she didn't know a word beginning with V. Finally ventured a guess at "Veluxembourg".

Another drinking game, basically the Radio1 name game....she ended up with H. She went for Harry Bo....

The phrase "You say tomato, i say tomato, became "You say tomato, i say potato"

Saw a really ropey looking chicken in Vietnam. She declared "Doubt he can fly"

Countless others too. She loves being reminded of them

This is absolute class :crylaugh: Gonna take a stab in the dark and ask..is she blonde by any chance?

My Mum said last year whilst watching the World cup, "They said on the radio earlier that 600 billion people are watching the World Cup all over the World"

She's awful with her numbers it is fair to say. It was a bit of a be there moment I guess.

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MPH

MPH

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Took the missis to the coalville whitley bay game a couple of weeks ago. After the first 10mins, of coalville nearly scoring a couple of times and the reaction of 3k of us going 'oohh' she turns and says, 'babe, which team are coalville?'

lol

:doh:

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  • 1 month later...
CKB

CKB

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Posted (edited)

I've got a couple, my missus is known for some odd comments from time to time and i've forgot most but got a few recent ones

Missus: Why is Andy Murray, Great British?

Me: Because he is?

Missus: But why is he allowed to do that?

Me: WHAT??

Missus: Well he's American, it shouldn't be allowed!

Me: Hahahaha, he's Scottish

Missus: Ohhh? i thought he was American all this time

When the play-off final was on a few weeks ago/whenever it was approaching 1am and a repeat on Sky Sports came on, she was just going bed and i was watching it and she said "Ohhhh footie have they just kicked off?" i was like "yeah of course babe they play football now at 1 in the morning".. She realised the mare she had and quickly went to bed

Edited by Chrisuki
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