Funny things your wife says

[Facecloth]

Does that mean Gary Coleman was an insect?

[kingcarr21]

Does that mean Gary Coleman was an insect?

haha i thought this when i read it aswel

[Buce]

So, Mrs Buce was complaining I'd made her coffee too hot: "it's a pity there isn't something for cooling stuff - you know, a sort of anti-microwave.."

"that's a great idea", said I, "we could call it a fridge..".

Edited 26 August 2014 by Buce

[Captain...]

To be fair putting a hot cup of coffee in the fridge would be pretty silly.

[Rincewind]

Blow on it.

[bovril]

She'd know what a fridge was if you put your foot down and made her clean behind it.

[Buce]

She'd know what a fridge was if you put your foot down and made her clean behind it.

You think I'm scared of the missus? Right, I'll do it.

Maybe.

[Rocket-Ron]

So, Mrs Buce was complaining I'd made her coffee too hot: "it's a pity there isn't something for cooling stuff - you know, a sort of anti-microwave.."

"that's a great idea", said I, "we could call it a fridge..".

Here knock yourself out http://www.coopercooler.com/index_1.html

Else Swap the wires in the plug, might reverse the process!

[Beliall]

Blow on it.

Thats what he said

[The Doctor]

I think the best my other half has come out with was a discussion about music:

 

Her: I used to play the bugle. The instrument, not the dog.

[PAPA LAZAROU]

My wife actually said while rinsing her mouth out , why is it called a blow job when I actually have to suck ? I had no answer .

[Dr The Singh]

My wife actually said while rinsing her mouth out , why is it called a blow job when I actually have to suck ? I had no answer .

She needs to practice more to realise!!

[sphericalfox]

I think the best my other half has come out with was a discussion about music:

 

Her: I used to play the bugle. The instrument, not the dog.

 

Proof that Tinder works.

[The Doctor]

Proof that Tinder works.

 

Never been on it. More proof musical theatre works.

[SystonFox]

Never been on it. More proof musical theatre works.

Alright Shirley calm down. Guilty conscience much?

[PAPA LAZAROU]

But he's a doctor he must see the Tuna Canoe on a daily basis.

[Beliall]

Tuna canoe

[sphericalfox]

Never been on it. More proof musical theatre works.

 

Well, we all know you've 'never been on it', but now you've got a GF, maybe she'll let you. 

[Webbo]

On the red button on BBC there's a Radio 2 concert on now. I was sat there watching Jeff Lynn's ELO when the wife comes in and says "Why are you watching Chas and Dave?".

[Alf Bentley]

On the red button on BBC there's a Radio 2 concert on now. I was sat there watching Jeff Lynn's ELO when the wife comes in and says "Why are you watching Chas and Dave?".

 

Should've told her not to bring you down, to stop rabbiting and to gertcha a beer from the sideboard.

Blue sky thinking! 

[Free Falling Foxes]

We were listening to a report on the radio a few weeks ago when that American fella was beheaded.

 

Afterwards my wife said. 'Is he dead then?' 

[bovril]

We were listening to a report on the radio a few weeks ago when that American fella was beheaded.

 

Afterwards my wife said. 'Is he dead then?' 

 

  love it

[Trav Le Bleu]

Not my wife, but my brother-in-law was keeping a 3 year old entertained with a book about animals and he was asking her,

 

"What's this? It's got a big long nose, it's an ele..... an ele... an ele..." to which the kid would say "elephant!" and we'd all go, "very good!" You all know the drill.

 

Anyway, he got to a horse and he goes...

 

"What's this? You ride it, it's a hor... a hor... a hor... you ride it..." to which onlookers were sniggering away and he had no clue until it was pointed out.

[Rocket-Ron]

On the red button on BBC there's a Radio 2 concert on now. I was sat there watching Jeff Lynn's ELO when the wife comes in and says "Why are you watching Chas and Dave?".

Reminds me of when I was listening to joy division one night, wife came in and said " God this sounds a bit boring, why doesn't he just kill himself"

[bovril]

Tonight down the pub:

 

Me: Have you heard about this paleo diet crap?

Her: What's that?

Me: Meat and plants, no grains, dairy or sugar. Like cavemen used to eat, apprently.

Her: Well in photos of cavemen they never look very healthy.