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MPH

Funny things your wife says

By MPH, in General Chat

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MPH

MPH

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So this morning we were preparing the house to leave for the day. We have lots of land so our retrievers sleep on dog beds in the garage that's left open to the outside.

My wife tells me. Don't forget to fill the dog water bowl up. I told her I did that yesterday. She said she meant the inside one.. I'm like " the inside one? What? Why? The dogs will be outside?"

" well you know ... Incase they come inside"

" How are they going to come inside ? Both the front door and back doors are locked"

" well they might get scared and break one of the doors down then get stuck inside".

Err... Ok.

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Guest Col city fan

Guest Col city fan

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My missis (to be) makes me laff. She's pretty cool to be fair and has a great sense of humour.

That's what makes us tick I think. We laff at each other.

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stix

stix

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My missis (to be) makes me laff. She's pretty cool to be fair and has a great sense of humour.

That's what makes us tick I think. We laff at each other.

Keep this kind of stuff in the Old Lady appreciation thread please Col.

This thread is strictly for taking the piss out of them.

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Guest Col city fan

Guest Col city fan

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Congrats mate but yeah, bugger off with your positivity!

:D

lol

What she IS rubbish at is Geography.

Shortly after we first met I proposed a little day trip to London.

She literally asked me 'where's that is that North'?

I kid you not....

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

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lol

What she IS rubbish at is Geography.

Shortly after we first met I proposed a little day trip to London.

She literally asked me 'where's that is that North'?

I kid you not....

 

 

I hope you explained that North London is in the North and South London is in the South?

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Steven

Steven

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Tonight down the pub:

 

Me: Have you heard about this paleo diet crap?

Her: What's that?

Me: Meat and plants, no grains, dairy or sugar. Like cavemen used to eat, apprently.

Her: Well in photos of cavemen they never look very healthy.

 

:D

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cambridgefox

cambridgefox

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Not the wife but a lad at work (Rob)always gets things wrong eg" he looks as white as a sheep"we call them Robbisms.

Well my MD phoned me whilst I was on the road to tell me his latest.He felt a bit ill this morning but fair play he came in.Not for long ,he went to the boss and said" I've got to go,I've got diarrhoea coming out BOTH ends"

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ramboacdc

ramboacdc

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mrs has converted to leicester since getting with me, her friends follow derby but shed never been a game so blank canvas. Only shame is, she doesnt understand the rules of football. shown her the watford video the other day and she didn't understand what aggregate was. i took her to a match this season and she didnt understand how i knew what a throw in was...****ing embarrassing. 

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GaelicFox

GaelicFox

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Sitting on a flight back from Las Vegas the plane was loaded with yanks and my wife happens to be up taking to the air stewardess who was a friend from school

the stewardess was from Oadby they were taking about school etc... The stewardess picked up the phone to ring one of the other girls at the back of the plane to come meet my wife and pressed the intercom button instead of the phone button just as my loud mouth wife said

"Don't know how you work with Americans they are all fat and rude "

The whole plane heard it

lol LOL lol

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GaelicFox

GaelicFox

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Lmfao oh man golden moment. Would have loved to seen them stare downs

One guy behind me said to me before she came back , he was a Texan and was laughing when he said it , he didn't know it was my wife

He said

"That woman needs a whipping"

When she returned to her seat

I turned around to his startled face and said "she actually likes that"

lol

Mine asked me the other day if I thought Leicesters owners were paying the other teams to lose so leicester could win the league :ermm:

Everyone in my pub thinks that !

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stix

stix

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Maybe I should turn around and say well I've got a headache too so can you suck me off because the nice feeling will make it go away.

That's my go to solution to every problem I ever have.

She thinks she's some kind of Dr. Quinn nowadays.

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