Houdini Logic Posted 31 May 2011 Share Posted 31 May 2011 Finished a job at 10pm in a village outside leicester, pulled a girl on the bus to town (meaning I still had to get another bus to mine) and she offered to pay for me to get into fanclub and for my drinks, brilliant I thought. I couldn't afford to get back to mine and was too lazy to walk, I ended up shagging her at her house - she paid the taxi - purely to save a 45 minute walk, anyway I fell asleep half way through and her dad chased me out in the morning, I then had to go through the shame of ringing my mum to come and pick me up from the arse end of nowhere and trying to bullshit how I'd ended up there for the whole car journey. Niiiice. Love these types of story. Sadly not a story of mine, but one of my good friends ended up pulling a girl on a Thursday night and going back to hers. She woke him up in the morning, dressed in full school uniform (apparently they wear that in sixth form round here?! Hmmm...), saying she was just about to leave for school and when he decides to leave he will need to make sure her parents don't see him! Now if that was me I would have put my clothes on and sprant out the door not stopping to look back, but he said he done it proper James Bond style. Twat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Smuts Posted 31 May 2011 Share Posted 31 May 2011 Have I told everyone about the time i was so pissed that i was sick in an oxygen mask and was then thrown off the stetcher by paramedics? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brown Fox Posted 31 May 2011 Share Posted 31 May 2011 Have I told everyone about the time i was so pissed that i was sick in an oxygen mask and was then thrown off the stetcher by paramedics? No, but you can expand... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmericanScott Posted 1 June 2011 Share Posted 1 June 2011 Bus route from work, I worked in blaby and live near braunstone, so it was the 84 to town then I'd have to get another bus out. from town, Americanscott will back me up on this that I used to make a loss on most shifts, they'd put me in for like 2 hours and I'd end up spending a tenner on busses. This was a poor day where had I not gone back to the girls I'd have been faced with a long walk. Its true. Our rota at work was so awkward. What was the point int a 8 - 10 shift? Stupid old bitch that ran the joint. Its only a 20 minute walk from town to your's though. But girl, drinks, taxi, shag and great story is much better. I remember you ringing me in the morning asking "where the **** am I?" classic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox92 Posted 2 June 2011 Share Posted 2 June 2011 I was in Ibiza last year and I was going to get in this lift. Anyway, I saw this group of people that I had met and they started talking to me. I was talking back (looking left in their direction) and I didn't realise but the doors of the lift shut into the side of my head. Honestly, they were very strong doors and I can remember staggering into the lift and turning around in the lift and everyone was just stood in the hotel's main lobby laughing. Not the most embarrising story but it was at the time. More clumsy than anything I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haydos Posted 2 June 2011 Share Posted 2 June 2011 Ergh. Going out in Gran Canaria when I was 15, me and my mate pulled these 2 girls from Essex <_< Later we got back to our hotel (5 stars) at about 4am absolutely plastered with these (probably) trampy looking lasses falling all over the place while we walked through the lobby. Anyway, mate ends up in bed with his bird (they didn't do much, just passed out after a while) whilst I'm out on the balcony on a sunbed with the little fellow halfway down her throat......when my mates dad walks in! Turns out the door hadn't shut properly and he was just checking that we were back. Yanked up my shorts and tucked him into the waistband (he was going pretty mental at this point that we were smashed and stayed out til 4) and hopped back inside while trying to appear sober and innocent. Got a rollicking and he told them to do one Next day I wouldn't tell my mate (who had a girlfriend) what had happened and he didn't know if he'd cheated on her. Ridiculous night. EDIT: Hadn't shaved my pubes before so I had a right bush going on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Smuts Posted 2 June 2011 Share Posted 2 June 2011 Have I told everyone about the time i was so pissed that i was sick in an oxygen mask and was then thrown off the stetcher by paramedics? My memory of the evenings events: 'I bet i can get more drunk than you' > Half a bottle of Tequila > 3 cans of Strongbow > Walk to nightclub > 'I Win' > Order a victory snakebite > Scene Missing > Wake up to 2 girls asleep on the floor and a bucket of sick and the worst hangover in the history of hangovers Actual events: 'I bet i can get more drunk than you' > Half a bottle of Tequila > 3 cans of Strongbow > Walk to nightclub > 'I Win' > Order a victory snakebite > Kicked out of nightclub for not being able to stand > Firemans carried home > Put to bed > Flat next door catches fire > Dragged outside by a 4ft 11" girl by my underpants > Fire Engines arrive with Ambulance > Mistakenly im treated for smoke inhillation > Placed on a stretcher and oxygen > Throw up in mask and get dumped off the stretcher by the paramedics > Witnessed being dragged back inside by same small girl > Wake up to 2 girls asleep on the floor and a bucket of sick and the worst hangover in the history of hangovers Not that embarrassing until the fire alarm went off again the next day and our halls are evacuated again. Cue me crawling outside dying from hangover in pants and my Lillian Nalis city shirt to applause and laughter from the gathered student masses - about 50 or so. I don't drink Tequilla anymore. I'm not sure why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Year Of The Fox Posted 2 June 2011 Share Posted 2 June 2011 Ive pissed up my curtains before when I was steaming. Also i've pissed in my parents room thinking that was the bog- yes they woke up. Slightly more embarassing- my missis has a sister a year younger than her. I walked into the hallway one day, looked through the open lounge door from the hallway, to see the missis sat in a towel around her body, and another around her head. I wolfwhistled at her, only to find that it was her sister. :-o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teece Posted 2 June 2011 Share Posted 2 June 2011 one that springs to mind and that i'm willing to share anyway was the NYE I was hammered and threw up in someones trainers. Not just any trainers though. The brand spanking new ones they'd only had for Christmas 6 days before. Not one of my finest moments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shen Posted 2 June 2011 Share Posted 2 June 2011 Ive pissed up my curtains before when I was steaming. Also i've pissed in my parents room thinking that was the bog- yes they woke up. Slightly more embarassing- my missis has a sister a year younger than her. I walked into the hallway one day, looked through the open lounge door from the hallway, to see the missis sat in a towel around her body, and another around her head. I wolfwhistled at her, only to find that it was her sister. :-o As if it wasn't on purpose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Year Of The Fox Posted 2 June 2011 Share Posted 2 June 2011 To be honest, I really, really would. Still not a patch on my bird tho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mee Posted 2 June 2011 Share Posted 2 June 2011 To be honest, I really, really would. Still not a patch on my bird tho So what you really mean, is you pulled the towels down and fucked her, and now your hiding it from your missus? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Year Of The Fox Posted 2 June 2011 Share Posted 2 June 2011 I wish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mee Posted 2 June 2011 Share Posted 2 June 2011 I wish. If your missus was here now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mee-9 Posted 2 June 2011 Share Posted 2 June 2011 Finished a job at 10pm in a village outside leicester, pulled a girl on the bus to town (meaning I still had to get another bus to mine) and she offered to pay for me to get into fanclub and for my drinks, brilliant I thought. I couldn't afford to get back to mine and was too lazy to walk, I ended up shagging her at her house - she paid the taxi - purely to save a 45 minute walk, anyway I fell asleep half way through and her dad chased me out in the morning, I then had to go through the shame of ringing my mum to come and pick me up from the arse end of nowhere and trying to bullshit how I'd ended up there for the whole car journey. Niiiice. That sounds like a good night by my standards. Free Booze, Free Travel and drunken sex with a munter. Surely it was worth the chasing down the street. Ive pissed up my curtains before when I was steaming. Also i've pissed in my parents room thinking that was the bog- yes they woke up. Slightly more embarassing- my missis has a sister a year younger than her. I walked into the hallway one day, looked through the open lounge door from the hallway, to see the missis sat in a towel around her body, and another around her head. I wolfwhistled at her, only to find that it was her sister. :-o I'm sure worse liquids have been exchanged in that department. Joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soar Fox Posted 2 June 2011 Share Posted 2 June 2011 One of worst ones was, went out in town with friends got steaming drunk went back to my patents house decided to watch a naughty DVD, so there I am sitting on my bed t.v on mute small fella in hand and tissues next to me just in case. Anyway I fall sleep with the DVD on repeat my dad walks in in the morning to find a me asleep fella in hand and DVD still going. Instead of closing the door and leaving me alone he shouts down to my mum "come and look at your son" I didn't find out that they had seen this until I walked downstairs asked the parents if they wanted a cup of tea and my mum replied "not with those hands" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxesAreBlue Posted 3 June 2011 Share Posted 3 June 2011 doesn't live up to a lot of the stories above but I have to stay at my mates house after a night on the lash and once, in my drunken stupor, crept upstairs and, instead of taking a slash in the toilet, I emptied the contents of my bladder into his sisters drawers.... woke up the next day completely none the wiser and life continued as normal. the next week as I went round to pick him up for another night his mum seemed a bit off with me, I just thought it was that time of the month until I walked into the local and every tom, dick n harry had heared the story, my mate filled me in and I was ripped all night... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soar Fox Posted 3 June 2011 Share Posted 3 June 2011 No need for your mate to beat you up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxesAreBlue Posted 3 June 2011 Share Posted 3 June 2011 "filled me in" as in told me what I had done, not beat me up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danno Posted 3 June 2011 Share Posted 3 June 2011 I was in year 1 and my mum had bought me some brand new trousers that i swear were 5 sizes too big and i wasnt wearing a belt and they fell down in the middle of the playground Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danno Posted 3 June 2011 Share Posted 3 June 2011 When i was about 7 we used to stay in these caravan things in france and it was the first day and i was walking home and walked into the wrong caravan and there was a couple snogging and about to have sex in the kitchen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom17LCFC Posted 3 June 2011 Share Posted 3 June 2011 one time at band camp i shoved a flute in my pussy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted 3 June 2011 Share Posted 3 June 2011 I thought you were a bloke Tom? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acooling08 Posted 3 June 2011 Share Posted 3 June 2011 one time at band camp i shoved a flute in my pussy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SOCCERROO FOX Posted 3 June 2011 Author Share Posted 3 June 2011 When i was about 7 we used to stay in these caravan things in france and it was the first day and i was walking home and walked into the wrong caravan and there was a couple snogging and about to have sex in the kitchen Did you hang around and wait to be tagged in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.